Unprotected oral sex and skin to skin contact:

[Muffin_3]

I have reviewed past posts which touch on these topics but did I want to post my situation for advice.  
First off let me say that I have been in a 15 year faithful marriage up until this one night which is why my anxiety and guilt is through the roof.  
I was out of town at a work function and a colleague and we drank too much and ended up in the hotel room.  There was kissing, I fingered her, we were both naked and grinding on each other, we decided against having sex but there was a-lot of skin to skin contact up to the point of having sex but there was no penetration.  She proceeded to give me unprotected oral sex.  

Afterwards she informed me she still tests for std’s at her yearly check up and to her knowledge has never had an std or a cold sore.  

I proceeded to obtain a 10 panel std check at 2 days and then again at 2 weeks post exposure.  All came back negative
10 panel consisted of:
Blood test: HIV 1 & 2, Herpes 1 & 2, Hep A,B
                     & C, syphilis
Urine Test: Clamydia & Gonorrhea

I am currently 3 weeks post exposure and I do not have any symptoms that I have noticed except for intermittent pain / ache on the left side of my groin  (not the scrotum) for approx the past week.  This could possibly contributed to stress but unsure.  

My question is would the clamydia and gonorrhea tests at 2 weeks post exposure be considered conclusive?  
I planned on retesting for syphilis at 6 weeks to confirm a negative result, do you agree?  
After everything I read I am not sure if I should retest for herpes since the CDC advises against it for the general population and a single occurrence.  Please provide your thoughts on that and the realistic risk from the situation outlined above.  Should I refrain from having sex with my wife for a certain period of time?   I appreciate your time.  

[auntiejessi]

Your chlamydia and gonorrhea tests are conclusive.

You had no risk for HIV and any of the hep viruses.

You can retest for syphilis, but assuming you're in the US, or another developed country, I probably wouldn't bother unless you get a sore. It's uncommon.

Depending on how much grinding there was, you probably weren't at risk for hsv2. There needs to be direct, unclothed, genital to genital (or anal) contact, with a lot of grinding - the kind usually associated with intercourse to transmit.

The hsv1 IgG test misses 30% of infections. Since 50% of all people under 50 in the US have oral hsv1, and the number gets higher as you get older, you may have that already (even if you haven't had symptoms ever - most never get symptoms), which means you are extremely unlikely of getting it again genitally.

Even if you don't have it orally, if you don't get sores, I wouldn't worry about it. If you decide to test for it again, only test for hsv1. The hsv2 IgG has a fair number of false positives, and you weren't likely at risk for that.

My guess is that your intermittent ache is anxiety and a hyper awareness of the area.

I understand that you feel horrible about this, but remember that guilt doesn't equal risk.