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Worried sick about STI and HPV
A quick bit of background am a 45 year old divorced man and 6 months ago met a woman who i clicked with. Before we slept together we both went and had full STI panel tests for chlamydia, ghonorrea, syphillis, HIV via urine sample and blood test. All came negative for both of us. two weeks ago we had an awful argument and we both said stupid things and 'split up' so to speak.
Fast forward to friday night just gone and i was out with a colleague who I've known for some time. we had too much to drink ended up back at her place where she performed oral sex on me to completion and i used my fingers on her and also performed oral on just her clitoris for a short amount of time. After, we both agreed it was stupid and shouldn't have happened. Now heres the thing...she was in a three month relationship previously with a swinger who had a lot of sexual partners.
Anyway my girlfriend calls saturday morning and wants to rekindle. I'm now absolutely worried sick ive picked up an STI from my colleague! So i call her yesterday (that was an interesting convo) and she tells me after she split up with the promiscuous swinger guy (which by the way was always protected sex with a condom but oral was unprotected) she got a full sti check again for chlamidya, ghonorrea, syphillis and HIV etc six weeks after they split up and all was negative...she even sent me a pic of the text. she has had one normal sexual partner ( not a swinger!) since she was tested, they had sex three times and it didnt work out. She has no symptoms of anything but I am convinced she gas given me something by her performing oral on me or me performing oral on her! Maybe she got oral HPV or Oral chlamidya or ghonnorea from the swinger guy and has passed it onto me via unprotected oral. I somehow manage to have convinced myself she has given me something. :(
Fast forward to friday night just gone and i was out with a colleague who I've known for some time. we had too much to drink ended up back at her place where she performed oral sex on me to completion and i used my fingers on her and also performed oral on just her clitoris for a short amount of time. After, we both agreed it was stupid and shouldn't have happened. Now heres the thing...she was in a three month relationship previously with a swinger who had a lot of sexual partners.
Anyway my girlfriend calls saturday morning and wants to rekindle. I'm now absolutely worried sick ive picked up an STI from my colleague! So i call her yesterday (that was an interesting convo) and she tells me after she split up with the promiscuous swinger guy (which by the way was always protected sex with a condom but oral was unprotected) she got a full sti check again for chlamidya, ghonorrea, syphillis and HIV etc six weeks after they split up and all was negative...she even sent me a pic of the text. she has had one normal sexual partner ( not a swinger!) since she was tested, they had sex three times and it didnt work out. She has no symptoms of anything but I am convinced she gas given me something by her performing oral on me or me performing oral on her! Maybe she got oral HPV or Oral chlamidya or ghonnorea from the swinger guy and has passed it onto me via unprotected oral. I somehow manage to have convinced myself she has given me something. :(
COMMUNITY LEADER
So this sounds a lot like anxiety because your regular partner wants you back and now you have to maybe explain that you were with someone else.
There is no risk from fingering.
Oral sex is a lot less risk than vaginal or anal sex. There is a chance of the things you mentioned, but just because she is or was with a swinger doesn't mean she definitely has something. Many swingers have rules about testing and protection.
You can get tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia at 5 days, though some places like you to wait two weeks. You can get an oral swab if it eases your mind, but getting an oral STD from giving oral to a vagina is not likely at all.
There is no test for men and HPV. The chances of getting it from oral sex are less than vaginal or anal.
Syphilis is also a concern, though it's a lot less common. Did your partner from Friday test for that?
Don't forget that your former girlfriend may have been with someone else. You might want to discuss that, too - not blame or shame, just ask. If you were broken up, you were both free to do what you wanted.
There is no risk from fingering.
Oral sex is a lot less risk than vaginal or anal sex. There is a chance of the things you mentioned, but just because she is or was with a swinger doesn't mean she definitely has something. Many swingers have rules about testing and protection.
You can get tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia at 5 days, though some places like you to wait two weeks. You can get an oral swab if it eases your mind, but getting an oral STD from giving oral to a vagina is not likely at all.
There is no test for men and HPV. The chances of getting it from oral sex are less than vaginal or anal.
Syphilis is also a concern, though it's a lot less common. Did your partner from Friday test for that?
Don't forget that your former girlfriend may have been with someone else. You might want to discuss that, too - not blame or shame, just ask. If you were broken up, you were both free to do what you wanted.
4 Comments
Thankyou for your response. Yes it’s made me very anxious and like an idiot I’ve been scouring the internet convincing myself I have something. I absolutely want to rekindle but I’m worried she will want sex and I’ll constantly be thinking I have something and she will maybe hit the roof knowing I’ve had a sexual encounter within two weeks of a silly argument.
Yes the partner from Friday night had tested for Syphillis and was negative. The same she was negative for Ghon, chlamidya and HIV. She has suffered with cold sores but not had an outbreak for months (you can tell the type of convo we had..our working relationship will no doubt suffer). I guess I was worried about her having an STI in her throat and passing it to my penis. I guess first off even before thinking about that the odds of her having an STI in her throat are very low in the first place. The swinger guy was by all intents and purposes responsible and always practiced protected vaginal sex.
Yes the partner from Friday night had tested for Syphillis and was negative. The same she was negative for Ghon, chlamidya and HIV. She has suffered with cold sores but not had an outbreak for months (you can tell the type of convo we had..our working relationship will no doubt suffer). I guess I was worried about her having an STI in her throat and passing it to my penis. I guess first off even before thinking about that the odds of her having an STI in her throat are very low in the first place. The swinger guy was by all intents and purposes responsible and always practiced protected vaginal sex.
So listen. You're a 45 yr old professional man. Handle all of this as such.
You had sex with a colleague. It got uncomfortable because your ex wants to get back together, not because your colleague did anything wrong. Don't let her have an unpleasant work experience because of that. Make sure your working relationship is fine.
If you owe her an apology, make sure she gets one. None of this is her fault.
With your ex, don't assume that she didn't do anything either. Maybe she didn't - I don't know. You really don't have anything to feel guilty about, though, unless you did some complicated break vs break up kind of thing.
Also, you're allowed to say no to jumping right back in with your ex. You broke up over a silly fight. Did you think it was "silly" at the time, or is that only in retrospect because you miss her?
In your original post, you describe it as an "awful fight" where you both said awful things. Is that something you all should work through before jumping right back into bed?
I say all this as sincere advice, but also as a way to give you some time to get tested if you feel you need to. I'm in your age range, and if your ex is, too, she should have the maturity to handle this.
You had sex with a colleague. It got uncomfortable because your ex wants to get back together, not because your colleague did anything wrong. Don't let her have an unpleasant work experience because of that. Make sure your working relationship is fine.
If you owe her an apology, make sure she gets one. None of this is her fault.
With your ex, don't assume that she didn't do anything either. Maybe she didn't - I don't know. You really don't have anything to feel guilty about, though, unless you did some complicated break vs break up kind of thing.
Also, you're allowed to say no to jumping right back in with your ex. You broke up over a silly fight. Did you think it was "silly" at the time, or is that only in retrospect because you miss her?
In your original post, you describe it as an "awful fight" where you both said awful things. Is that something you all should work through before jumping right back into bed?
I say all this as sincere advice, but also as a way to give you some time to get tested if you feel you need to. I'm in your age range, and if your ex is, too, she should have the maturity to handle this.
Thankyou Jessie. Pep talk noted and understood.
You're welcome. Wishing you luck. :)
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
