Ever since 2009 or 2008, I've had these dark sexual thoughts involving women crying. I know it's not my OCD, because, sadly, I kind of enjoy those thoughts. But I always remind myself that it's not healthy, so I am trying to work on eliminating them.
I think it's best to give some of my background so that people can help identify the cause of this sadism. I was born into a well off family. However, I was never quite normal, as I've had three main problems: 1) my Tourettes, 2) my OCD, and 3) my bed wetting. I was also a HUGE crybaby. Sometimes when my friends and I were playing tag, and I got it, I started throwing tantrums. Nowadays I'm really not a crybaby, and I act normally around people.
My brother was the exact opposite of me. I was shy, sensitive, and introverted, and he was extroverted, a bit insensitive, and not shy at all! He loved teasing me, and I always took it the wrong way. One adult I know who is an expert on Tourettes says that that's normal for people with my condition. Anyway, that's why I haven't had the best relationship with my brother. I was literally scared of him, and I hated him. I wanted him dead.
I started getting those sadistic thoughts when I got fed up with being a crybaby. I wanted to see someone else cry, and I couldn't help myself when I got those tantrums.