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My husband says he's too old for sex at 42

my husband of 4year is saying he's to old for sex we are both 42. I think this is nonsense. Please help? He also says he can't be botherd. I think about sex every day.as I dont have it anymore I want a loving sexual relationship with him .but no ?? What you think
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20620809 tn?1504362969
Ya, that doesn't sound right.  Are you ever too old for sex?  Libido decreases and ability to maintain erection decreases with age but 42 is too young.  Is he a low libido person?  That's not uncommon.  It could be due to stress and depression, low testosterone, medication he is taking, etc.  Could he have any issues with erection like erectile dysfunction?  What's the rest of your relationship like?  He's not mad at ya, is he?
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6 Comments
He not on med . Our relationship is ok we do loads together .apart from sex .if we do gave out very rare i do all work and I get nothing . He does work .but not in a desperate state .
As always we had a great sex life when we met did it loads . Had a child but he now 7 . But I still want sex of course.
I'd ask him to see his doctor and ask for some hormone testing. It's smart to always rule out physical causes first. Is it possible he's experiencing erectile dysfunction and is embarrassed to tell you that?

Be gentle with him. Don't shame or scold him. This could indicate something medically is wrong, and that's a very real concern that he needs to get checked, so that should be what you tell him. Focus on his health, and not the sex part.

If he refuses, then you have a bigger issue to deal with, but for now, tell him you love him, and want to make sure he's okay physically.
Awww thats a nice message but he has no problem with getting hard . Sometimes when he has a few drinks he can't but then other time he drinks and goes on and on .he says  to me I need to just do it .but my point is hes saying hes to old and cant be botherd  and I have to do things to him its always me .
Then that sounds like a marital or relationship problem. I'm in my 50s - there are lots of men my age who still want to have sex. There are lots of posts from older men, into their 70s, on this site who are still having sex.

Does he have a drinking problem?

Will he go to marital counseling with you?
No not a drinking problem. Only weekends
Avatar universal
Just want to chime in & agree w/ both GuitarRox & auntiejessi - 42 is WAY too young to say you’re too old for sex! I’m 69 & still have a strong sex drive. I had prostate cancer surgery & that’s slowed me down quite a bit but I’ve been doing evthg I can to try to get back to full functioning, some progress after 2 yrs, not where I wanna be, but improving. I can’t imagine giving up sex even at my age, certainly not early 40s! As others suggested, have him get physically checked & also some counseling may be in order.
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Yeah thank you. No probs with down below .but yeah Deffo marital problems .its not really a normal relationship so thank you for advice
Avatar universal
u kno wat? try toys or foreplay. talk it out explain it that hey I would like you to use toys on me, or your fingers just be around me like the young days. If you talk a few times I am certain anyone will understand. Don't think other person doesnt care. That is the biggest mistake. 99% men and women both are loyal it is just temporary stress or temporary temptation that makes them switch partners or cheat or end an otherwise wonderful marriage life. Dont throw away a partner. Remember. A good blacksmith can restore scrap into valuable items. And every person cares for their partner inside. Their stress and insecurities about not being enough for their partner makes them appear unbothered and indifferent but trust me every person cares for their partner a LOT even if they appear to forget birthdays or have quarrels or fights. Have trust in that love and it will return. Telling that from experience.
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Just want to say, your optimism is great, but reality is otherwise unfortunately.  If only humans were as you describe.  We don't always make great choices, and choosing a lover is one of the most difficult choices we make.  Actually, it's possible as studies show that most people cheat on their spouses.  Both sexes.  Women more than men, surprisingly, if you get a woman to ask the questions.  Divorce in countries where you can get one runs around 50% or greater, and where you're not allowed to get one marriage can become a prison for women and men get their sex elsewhere.  I only say this because, although the post you are commenting on is a year old and hopefully problem solved, if in fact the woman's husband said he didn't want sex anymore because he had found somebody else and hadn't told his wife yet, she's possibly stuck in a bad relationship and doesn't know, which doesn't allow her to do anything about it.  If he isn't cheating on her or lost interest in her, they still have a real problem because they have a vastly different level of sexual interest and the intimacy of the marriage is suffering.  As for toys and foreplay, well, foreplay is sex, and that's what he apparently doesn't want with her, sex.  Toys might be fun for you but it's not the same as being connected to one another.  It's one thing to play sometimes, but real touch is what we all really bond with when other parts of the relationship get old and difficult.  The advice given was very good, which was to take a look at the marriage, because there is no age where humans are so old they lose interest in sex.  What we more often lose interest in is sex with our spouse.  Peace.
Avatar universal
Something is wrong. Forty two is way to young to quit having sex. We are 63 and 64 and still have a good sex life. He should have a thorough check up to rule out any physical/mental issues, and then go from there.
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