Why don't I get horny anymore?

[Jasmine921085]

Okay, first some background, Im 18, female , living with my boyfriend 19 (almost 20), we have been together almost 3 years, and living together for over a year now(1 year and 4 months). I left school a year early to go onto tertiary study and am still studying so i didnt just follow my boyfriend lol.

for probaby about 6 months now (currently its april 2016) we havent had a lot of sex but we still would, but slowly it would hurt or stretch me, not each time but over time it got worse. (we are both each others firsts) Theres no chance of any STI's as we are loyal as **** lol. My study can be quite stressfull at time especially having to work partime a little. Im probably not the most wonderfull person to deal with either but my partner also has mini fits of rage which then pisses me off or he just annoys me in someway so i seem to be constantly angry or unhappy or pissed off but otherwise we good, no actual drama.
But anyway  it hurts quite a bit to do anything more than gentle clit licking, if he goes down towards my vagina it hurts. So I cant have sex atall. Been to the doctor multiple times and the said i was imflammed but then nothing showed up on swabs. Been prescribed different things with no results so we took swabs again, this time only haveing the cotton bud going in and that hurt so much. Still with nothing abnormal showing up. and when we would try to have sex i would need him to eat me to lube me but not long after we would need lube to continue trying. Its like I cant accomadate anymore , and my partner is a fairly good size, not huge but perfect cause we are both kinda small people . We used to have great sex but now in the last month i just dont even get horny atall and almost have no interest in doing anything. My partner understands that it hurts and sometimes he would even say no to trying to go in cause he didnt want to hurt me . I feel bad because i don't want to give anything atall cause im not feeling anything. its like im not ever allowed to feel happy. i was on the pill but recently decided to go off it, i was scared to have a period cause it hurt last time and tampon might hurt and i just cant do pads but now im off it completly . I was thinking about having a smear text because i had one of the symptoms, even tho they can be other things, it hasnt been anything else. But the doctor said i should still be fighting off anything that might be there and they dont start testing till your 20 but i think i will still book. But now i feel like we are growning a little apart, i hardly ever want affection, then when i ask for it he doesn't give it to me -.- (hes a bit of a **** stirer, thinks hes funny lol)   and I dont even want sex anymore, i feel uncertain if im with him cause we love each other or we are with each other just cause we live together, my lack of wanting anything sexual is screwing with me and I want to know why I physically can't have sex or even want foreplay.
Help!!??

[Dalubaba]

You may learn female deer exercise, kegel exercise and Sat kriya. Try sukhasan as well. Sit cross legged( without any under garments. Touch one of your hill near the mouth of your vagina. You  may lean forward a bit. Sit in this position for 10 minutes everyday.Sukhasan means happiness posture. It is for meditation as well. In some website you may find this method of touching mouth of vagina with your hill of your feet.

[clement4now]

Hi,


I'm sorry that you're experiencing this in your relationship; but I do think that possibly stress is playing a big part in this...

What you've described sounds a lot like 'vaginismus'.  Vaginismus is usually caused by anxiety or stress regarding having sex or being intimate.  Basically, the walls of the vagina constrict very tightly, making sex or any insertion (like a tampon) almost impossible and extremely painful.  It can happen to any woman, at any age (no matter how sexually experienced she is).  Whether you realize it or not, you might be apprehensive about the pain & stress that sex (or any insertion) is causing you, which in turn makes your vaginal muscles contract involuntarily.  I'm not a doctor, but I've also experienced this myself, and had to do some research to figure out the cause...

  The good news is that you can be treated for it, by speaking with your doctor about it (therapy), or you can learn self-help techniques such as Kegel exercises (pelvic floor exercises).  The key really is to focus on relaxation and to stop dwelling on the pain associated with sex or insertion.  There are literally dozens of sites that you can research regarding vaginismus , just by using your search bar.

  Another thing to keep in mind would be using more lubricant during foreplay and sex, to help with keeping your vagina & vulva moist enough for sex.  Not being sufficiently 'wet' during sex, can be very painful...

Take Care :)