Aa
No SEX while I was pregnant...No SEX now that I'm not...I need you ladies!
1st off let me just say that this is a very embarrassing topic for me. I've been holding this frustration in for too long and if I dont vent I'm going to explode:
Lord knows I love my mother and Id tell her anything under the sun..but lets be honest do you really feel comfortable talking to your mom about your sex life with your husband. Ive tried to bring it up to her but I change my mind at the last minute. Its hard talking to my cousins and my friends about it b/c I dont want to embarrass him nor do I really want them in our business like that.
Chancellor was a planned pregnancy. We bought the ovulation kit waited for it to peak and got pregnant on the 1st try. After the 1st OB apptmnt doc told hubby that sex is ok as long as there are no complications. We got pregnant Sept 24th 2007 (remember it like it was yesterday). Both of our bdays are n Oct. we made love then....after that things STOPPED. Not slowed down, but stopped. He was so worried about the pregnancy that I just gave up and went the rest of the 8mnths cold turkey.
In all that time I thought about the course of our relationship and courtship. We stayed friends a long time before I even looked at him as someone who I could be interested in. When we did began to date we had a wonderful friendship and longing for eachother. You ladies probably wont believe me when I say this, but the 1st time I made love to my husband we were engaged and I had a ring on my finger. I just thought I had one of the last nice guys left in the world, and he could lay in the same bed with me and not lay a hand on me and Id feel safe.
A bit of personal information on myself: when my husband met me I was an exotic dancer (no shame in that by the way) he'd come to my job to see me all the time but I NEVER danced for him. He was always that 1 customer who wanted to talk so I grew to have respect for him.
By the time we were engaged going through our pre-marital counseling the pastor asked us to not make sex part of our immediate lives and thrive off the things that made us decide to get married from the get go. Needless to say the 8mnths we spent planning the wedding were sex FREE. This was harder for me then it was for him...yet I never put the pieces together. I should have saw the signs then.
After Chance was born in June 08 tubes were tied in July...hell a week later I was ready to get the bedroom popping. Sh*t it had been long enough and at this point I NEEDED my husband. Ladies he couldnt perform. Now I'm thinking its me. I feel rejected and hurt and I was blaming me thinking it was the 13lbs that stuck around after the baby came and now he must not be attracted to me anymore. Truth is im still in a size 11 in the JUNIORS section.
Now the baby is 9mnths old and nothing has happened. Ive tried every FREAKY trick in the book and nothing! Ive even pulled out my old dancer bag threw on some customs, lit some candles, got baby-oiled up, put my thigh-hi boots on...hell I looked so good I wanted to touch myself (SMILE)...still he didnt.
So I asked, baby; do you need to visit the doctor. He embarrassingly said yes. OK, girls I didnt make a big deal out of it b/c these things happen. He's 40 its time for his prostate to be checked, maybe his blood pressure is high. I'm making several excuses for him so I dont feel so terrible.
Long story short. Ive made 3 apptmnts for him and he's neglected to go to all of them. Now its no longer an option, he has to go or he has to move out. Theres a 10yr age difference in us Im 29 he's 39. I dont know whats happening to us.
Ive started communicating with my ex (dont jump my sh*t ladies, I know I'm wrong) and this is a man who I have deep feelings for and an even deeper attraction to. The thought has crossed my mind to spend 1NIGHT with this man just so I can have AMY taken care of. I cant do it tho! I love my husband I just think right now he's being a selfish a**hole and he's pushing me into a corner thats going to hurt our marriage, and we may not be able to recover.
Ladies Ive screamed at him, cried WITH him, begged him, talked to him...how do I get my man to see that his pride is about to push me right out the door?? Even been to the "grown-up" store to get some special needs items but its not the same as having your man show you what you mean to him. To tell you guys the truth it hurts! I'm crying as I'm typing this b/c in my lap lay my cellphone with a text message from the EX saying "he'll never know."
Has any1 been here before?
How do I save my marraige without compromising my womanhood?
Sincerely,
Trying hard to be that "Praying Wife", while temptation haunts me!
Sorry its sooo long!
Lord knows I love my mother and Id tell her anything under the sun..but lets be honest do you really feel comfortable talking to your mom about your sex life with your husband. Ive tried to bring it up to her but I change my mind at the last minute. Its hard talking to my cousins and my friends about it b/c I dont want to embarrass him nor do I really want them in our business like that.
Chancellor was a planned pregnancy. We bought the ovulation kit waited for it to peak and got pregnant on the 1st try. After the 1st OB apptmnt doc told hubby that sex is ok as long as there are no complications. We got pregnant Sept 24th 2007 (remember it like it was yesterday). Both of our bdays are n Oct. we made love then....after that things STOPPED. Not slowed down, but stopped. He was so worried about the pregnancy that I just gave up and went the rest of the 8mnths cold turkey.
In all that time I thought about the course of our relationship and courtship. We stayed friends a long time before I even looked at him as someone who I could be interested in. When we did began to date we had a wonderful friendship and longing for eachother. You ladies probably wont believe me when I say this, but the 1st time I made love to my husband we were engaged and I had a ring on my finger. I just thought I had one of the last nice guys left in the world, and he could lay in the same bed with me and not lay a hand on me and Id feel safe.
A bit of personal information on myself: when my husband met me I was an exotic dancer (no shame in that by the way) he'd come to my job to see me all the time but I NEVER danced for him. He was always that 1 customer who wanted to talk so I grew to have respect for him.
By the time we were engaged going through our pre-marital counseling the pastor asked us to not make sex part of our immediate lives and thrive off the things that made us decide to get married from the get go. Needless to say the 8mnths we spent planning the wedding were sex FREE. This was harder for me then it was for him...yet I never put the pieces together. I should have saw the signs then.
After Chance was born in June 08 tubes were tied in July...hell a week later I was ready to get the bedroom popping. Sh*t it had been long enough and at this point I NEEDED my husband. Ladies he couldnt perform. Now I'm thinking its me. I feel rejected and hurt and I was blaming me thinking it was the 13lbs that stuck around after the baby came and now he must not be attracted to me anymore. Truth is im still in a size 11 in the JUNIORS section.
Now the baby is 9mnths old and nothing has happened. Ive tried every FREAKY trick in the book and nothing! Ive even pulled out my old dancer bag threw on some customs, lit some candles, got baby-oiled up, put my thigh-hi boots on...hell I looked so good I wanted to touch myself (SMILE)...still he didnt.
So I asked, baby; do you need to visit the doctor. He embarrassingly said yes. OK, girls I didnt make a big deal out of it b/c these things happen. He's 40 its time for his prostate to be checked, maybe his blood pressure is high. I'm making several excuses for him so I dont feel so terrible.
Long story short. Ive made 3 apptmnts for him and he's neglected to go to all of them. Now its no longer an option, he has to go or he has to move out. Theres a 10yr age difference in us Im 29 he's 39. I dont know whats happening to us.
Ive started communicating with my ex (dont jump my sh*t ladies, I know I'm wrong) and this is a man who I have deep feelings for and an even deeper attraction to. The thought has crossed my mind to spend 1NIGHT with this man just so I can have AMY taken care of. I cant do it tho! I love my husband I just think right now he's being a selfish a**hole and he's pushing me into a corner thats going to hurt our marriage, and we may not be able to recover.
Ladies Ive screamed at him, cried WITH him, begged him, talked to him...how do I get my man to see that his pride is about to push me right out the door?? Even been to the "grown-up" store to get some special needs items but its not the same as having your man show you what you mean to him. To tell you guys the truth it hurts! I'm crying as I'm typing this b/c in my lap lay my cellphone with a text message from the EX saying "he'll never know."
Has any1 been here before?
How do I save my marraige without compromising my womanhood?
Sincerely,
Trying hard to be that "Praying Wife", while temptation haunts me!
Sorry its sooo long!
I most've been typing when you posted Mama Pam....but no problem I'll continue to talk to the grown ladies on my journal page....if you're not grown dont follow me now! LOL
I'm so silly! :)~
I'm so silly! :)~
LOL LOL LOL....I just re-read my post and it is very funny. I dont get it, I'm always uplifting and respectful to others, and if I read something that doesnt apply to me, I dont agree with, or I cant give correct info about I dont respond to the thread point blank...
Ask any of the ladies who's been a member of this forum as long as I have; I'm the most fun loving comical person here (when the situation warrents it) but hey to each HER own!
******The Doctor's Visit*******
I could tell when he got up he was extra nervous b/c he was quiet and pacing the house but I just let me have his moment. When he walked in as soon as we got comfortable in the chair they called him back (yall know that doesnt happen very often) so he looked at me like are you coming.
The doc came in and was friendly from the start and asked so whats going on today. Hubby just hung his head and looked at me like this is your chance to speak on my behalf. I said well doc we're, I mean he's experiencing some performance issues and its been going on for a long time. So the doc asked him his age and said well you know the 1st thing we're going to do right??? I just started laughing b/c I already knew he was about to be violated in ways he couldnt imagine. So I stepped out the room and needless to say when I am back he was looking very annoyed. He said see what I have to go thru for love? The doc explained that his prostate did feel a little enlarged but that could be b/c of uneven hormone levels. He said that he would try him on viagra just yet b/c its such an invasive drug and once most men start it they have to continue to use it for erectile function. He believes his testosterone levels are WAY down and have been for some time. Hopefully by Tues we'll have the results back to know if he'll need hormone theropy or if he does actually need the viagra. The doc was so funny he said I'll step out the room and let you get him aroused and we'll see how long it takes and how long he can hold the erection.
I thought the man was joking....he wasnt. Once hubby's friend woke up the doc came back in and was examining it, so it started to immediately. The doc asked what happened....hubby said it's another grown a** man touching me what do you think is wrong. We just all bust out laughing. Then doc turned to me and said what method did you use...I looked at him out the corner of my eye and he said just kidding. But what ever you did just do that tonight b/c it didnt take him anytime.
When he walked out that office and got in the car we laughed like we havent laughed in a long time abt this issue. I know the 1st 5mins of the car ride was none stop giggling. Hubby said I think something was a lil strange with that doc; I think he enjoyed that visit a little too much.
But at least we now have a starting place to get some answers, and I'm grateful to all of you ladies for your help advice and support!
The ex isnt too happy about the talk I had with him lastnight about removing the thought of us being intimate ever again, but he understands I did it for my marriage and agreed to back off so hubby and I can have time to heal!
Ask any of the ladies who's been a member of this forum as long as I have; I'm the most fun loving comical person here (when the situation warrents it) but hey to each HER own!
******The Doctor's Visit*******
I could tell when he got up he was extra nervous b/c he was quiet and pacing the house but I just let me have his moment. When he walked in as soon as we got comfortable in the chair they called him back (yall know that doesnt happen very often) so he looked at me like are you coming.
The doc came in and was friendly from the start and asked so whats going on today. Hubby just hung his head and looked at me like this is your chance to speak on my behalf. I said well doc we're, I mean he's experiencing some performance issues and its been going on for a long time. So the doc asked him his age and said well you know the 1st thing we're going to do right??? I just started laughing b/c I already knew he was about to be violated in ways he couldnt imagine. So I stepped out the room and needless to say when I am back he was looking very annoyed. He said see what I have to go thru for love? The doc explained that his prostate did feel a little enlarged but that could be b/c of uneven hormone levels. He said that he would try him on viagra just yet b/c its such an invasive drug and once most men start it they have to continue to use it for erectile function. He believes his testosterone levels are WAY down and have been for some time. Hopefully by Tues we'll have the results back to know if he'll need hormone theropy or if he does actually need the viagra. The doc was so funny he said I'll step out the room and let you get him aroused and we'll see how long it takes and how long he can hold the erection.
I thought the man was joking....he wasnt. Once hubby's friend woke up the doc came back in and was examining it, so it started to immediately. The doc asked what happened....hubby said it's another grown a** man touching me what do you think is wrong. We just all bust out laughing. Then doc turned to me and said what method did you use...I looked at him out the corner of my eye and he said just kidding. But what ever you did just do that tonight b/c it didnt take him anytime.
When he walked out that office and got in the car we laughed like we havent laughed in a long time abt this issue. I know the 1st 5mins of the car ride was none stop giggling. Hubby said I think something was a lil strange with that doc; I think he enjoyed that visit a little too much.
But at least we now have a starting place to get some answers, and I'm grateful to all of you ladies for your help advice and support!
The ex isnt too happy about the talk I had with him lastnight about removing the thought of us being intimate ever again, but he understands I did it for my marriage and agreed to back off so hubby and I can have time to heal!
Ladies..ladies...I can feel the heat...LOLO
Prayerful Wife: I'm all about listening and offering my 2 cents in regards to your situation...but, as adgal suggested earlier...can we please move this to your journal? I'm not offended at all, nor do I judge you, but as you mentioned someone else is or was, therefore I just need to politely remind you to just continue and keep on discussing whatever you desire...but just do so on your personal journal. Ok?? Tricia is anxciously awaiting to hear more and so am I... : ) Please do not respond or comment to this thread any further...let's just move it to the journal...ok??
Prayerful Wife: I'm all about listening and offering my 2 cents in regards to your situation...but, as adgal suggested earlier...can we please move this to your journal? I'm not offended at all, nor do I judge you, but as you mentioned someone else is or was, therefore I just need to politely remind you to just continue and keep on discussing whatever you desire...but just do so on your personal journal. Ok?? Tricia is anxciously awaiting to hear more and so am I... : ) Please do not respond or comment to this thread any further...let's just move it to the journal...ok??
OMG, girl...you crack me up. I would LOVE to meet you in person...lol.
Anyway...I'll be checking back in a few to get your update. I'm very interested! And, trust me...no judgment here. I've done some things in my past that I'm not real proud of, too...things that would make Dr. Ruth blush...lol. But, you know what? Those things and experiences made us who we are today - and I think my past experiences have made me so much more appreciative of what I have now.
Okay - hurry back! :-)
Tricia
Anyway...I'll be checking back in a few to get your update. I'm very interested! And, trust me...no judgment here. I've done some things in my past that I'm not real proud of, too...things that would make Dr. Ruth blush...lol. But, you know what? Those things and experiences made us who we are today - and I think my past experiences have made me so much more appreciative of what I have now.
Okay - hurry back! :-)
Tricia
Oh, that's so great...I mean, at least it sounds like he's making progress. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow (not in a kinky way...ha ha)...sending positive thoughts your way, girl. I really, truly hope you two can get help. You seem like such a great gal, and I admire your honesty here *and with your husband.
Anyway...keeping my fingers crossed for a GREAT Friday for you!
Tricia
Anyway...keeping my fingers crossed for a GREAT Friday for you!
Tricia
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You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
