Aa
sexual problems
My marriage has fallen apart over sex. I think the only reason we're still together is beause we have two kids. But I love my husband, I find him very physically attractive and love the idea of having sex with him, but when it comes down to actually doing it- I don't know what happens, it's like this wall comes up around me and I just want to crawl into a hole and hide. I of course have tried to ignore it and go on anyway, which results in painful sex because I can't even make myself relax. I feel like my husband has come to hate me and I can't really blame him, he deserves someone who can make him happy. I've tried to overcome this issue but I don't know what to do. He doesn't want to do anything with me or even talk to me anymore. His anger towards me makes it extremely difficult to try and fix our sex life and makes the problem worse. I keep thinking I should talk to him about ending our mariage because we've grown apart so much over the sex problems that I fear we'll never be able to fix it. I feel so much pressure to perform well and to at least make it appear as though i'm enjoying it that I'm too overwhelmed to try anymore after so many failures. Is there any way to fix this or is my marriage past saving?
Please don't give up until you have tried counseling for a while. You should both go, and try to find a very good marriage counselor on recommendations from someone you trust. Hang in there.
It could be biological/ physiological... perhaps, due to a hormonal imbalance of some sort. Then again, that "wall" that you mentioned makes me think that there might be underlying emotional/ psychological issues... Depression? Anyhow... I'd consult with a doctor, or as gymdandee suggests... counseling... first before considering the termination of a marriage.
I read your problem a few times and not catching exactly what the problem is. But let me ask you this.... Did the two of you use to have good sex before you're married?
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