You don't officially have to have an apnea (greater than 10 second pauses). Imagine as you fall alseep, you stop breathing, and after 2-5 seconds, you wake up suddenly, in a state of panic. You don't need to be snoring, gasping or choking. If your nervous system is very heightened, it will cause you to wake up very quickly once you obstruct. Most people with these conditions will be placed on anti-anxiety or anti-depression medication, with numbs your nervous system, but it doesn't get to the root of the problem.
The only way to know if you have apneas, if at all, and whether it's central or obstructive is to undergo a sleep study. What you describe sounds like a typical obstructive apnea. There is no "typical" sleep apnea patient—we now know that even young thin women who don't snore can have significant obstructive apneas. I wouldn't jump to conclusions about rare brainstem tumors or anything of that sort. What you describe is commonly attributed to stress and anxiety related conditions, but I think the main reason is more due to very short obstructions as your muscles begin to relax while you sleep.
If you don't have insurance, a sleep study can be very expensive. There are less expensive home-based studies and screening tests, but you'll have to do some research on what's available through your doctors. Stress can also aggravate this condition, and this condition can also aggravate stress. There are also hormonal influences as well in early menopause.
For now, I would work on stress reduction and relaxation techniques, not eating late close to bedtime (3 hours), exercising regularly, and avoiding sleeping on your back. At some point, you may need to bring this issue up with your medical doctor.
One more thing Dr. I just wanted to let you know that nobody in my family has observed any signs of apnea in me during sleep. Also, I do not have any of the signs of apnea that I have read about other than the jumping up gasping for air as I'm falling asleep and most of the sites I read say that the person is unaware that they do that as well. I am fully aware of whats going on and am terrified to go to sleep now because of it.