Affair....=((

[confusedandlost]

hey everyone.. pls help me... i've been crying the whole nite...
i come from a very happy family...
my parents seem like the pair made in heaven...
my aunt loves me and my mother alot....she treats me sooo well...
i felt her love was real..
my only close kins are my parents,my sister,my aunt and my grandpa.

last nite i came across emails my dad sent to my aunt...
they were exchanging flirty messages to each other....
=(
didnt my aunt always say she loves me..?
she treats my mother very well and vice versa...
i cant believe the person my dad is having an affair with is my aunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have no one to confide in...
usually my aunt is there to solve probs for me....
but now, what do i do? =(

i feel sooo bad for my mum....
i really dunno how to face my dad...
i hate him for betraying our trust...
i hate my aunt for doing this to us.....


pls help me.... ='(

[confusedandlost]

i cant bear for things in my family to change.. i dun think that i wanna tell my mother about it no matter what..
i dun wan my father to confess to her, because it would be a very very very big blow to her..
i cant sleep everynight, just feeling so disgusted why the people closest to me and my mum could do this...=(
i was thinking of monitoring the situation, check on him to see if there's anymore stuff going on, if there is, i would prefer to confront my aunt first...
if its over between them, can i just act as if nothing's happen and go on wif life?

i need a peaceful and happy family....i really do..

[DavidY10]

I would at least confront your dad before you tell your mother. Tell him you want the whole truth, and it's really his place to make a confession to your mom. I think it's best as children not to get too tangled up in our parents' relationship because there are always intricacies and things we don't understand because we weren't there for them. Basically there's always more history to the situation.
Anyways what your dad is doing is wrong and you should confront him and tell him that he needs to confess. But beyond that you should let your parents work it out.

[Anonymous97234]

Well, I've been thinking for the past 5 minutes and I've really tried hard to put myself in your shoes.

What I would do, is confront my Dad and tell him I've read the e-mails he's been sending to my Aunty. I'd have my Sister accompany me, and I'd remain completely calm while telling him. I'd ask him to be completely truthful and tell me what is it that made him do it, and how can I help to repair it. I'd also tell him to stop it immediately, because my Mother doesn't deserve what you're doing to her.

Then, the decision is up to you. You could tell your Mother what's he's done but you'd have to prepare for your life to change a little. OR, you could tell him to stop it NOW or you will tell your Mother if you don't stop.

Unfortunately, this has taken a back route straight to your front doorstep and slapped you right in the face. You're going to have to prepare yourself for some changes, because your Mother doesn't deserve what has happened to her. If you really want, you can forget the whole incident, but sometimes you have to do things that are against what YOU want, and you have to do things to make things right. Only you can judge what is right to do at the moment, so it's completely your decision.

I hope things work out for you. xx

[confusedandlost]

thanks for replying...
i cant stop crying...
i cant let my mother know abt it...
i cant bear to see her breakdown...
i love her too much to see her get hurt...
i dunno how to confront my dad or my aunt either...
why would they do this to their own family?
why my aunt loves me so much but she could do this to us?
she calls us out for lunch every week,and im afraid i'll have to see her soon..
i dunno how to react..

i went to my sis, she said we shld pretend nthg happened..
i wish i could.... i am at a loss now...
can i just forget this whole incident..?
i dun wan the matter to blow up... =((

[Anonymous97234]

You do have people to confide in! Us.

Don't worry, just imagine when this is all blown over; things will only get worse before they can get better! The best thing to do IN MY OPINION would be to tell your Mother. (Unless she already knows.) She deserves to know after having a Family with your Dad, and she can also find the betrayal (I know it's horrible to admit and understand, but what your Aunty has done is betrayal at it's finest.) of your Aunty.

The best thing I think you could do out of all of this is stand by whoever you see innocent of what's happened. Don't take the back seat, but don't take the front seat. Make sure everything is kept controlled and calm. I'm sorry to hear what's happened and to be honest it really does take the ****, but life throws a lot of things at you; you've just got to take it. The way you feel is fine and every one of us would experience the feelings you are right now, and yeah it might get a lot worse, but remember 'there's always a dark night before a brighter day'.

Just make sure you remain strong with whatever happens and I'm sure if you ever need any advice you can come here.

I'm no expert, and I may be wrong; but I hope the helps. Good luck with whatever happens because of this.