I want to be tested for depression, but I am too afraid to bring it up?

[Techn]

        I am a fifteen year old girl, and I feel I have been struggling with depression for a few years now. I find almost everything in life to be exhausting, and often the best thing I can think to do with myself is just sleep (and recently, past 5 months or so, sleep has become a major difficulty for me.) I have major mood swings and I can become upset or angry at the slightest, most worthless things. I cry over nothing, I often feel completely alone. I have also thought about suicide but I trust myself to be sensible enough to stray away from that. Now I also know teenagers are in general hormonal and often imbalanced. So I'm not sure if I am just going through life or if it is something more.
        The difficult problem here is bringing it up to my mother. Me and her have a very strained relationship, and I'd say this is where most of the stress in my life comes from. Since I am still young I would need her to arrange an appointment, however I don't want to tell her how I feel. I've hinted at feeling depressed before and her response was negative, and I just felt stupid after trying. I know once I'm a little bit older I can make my own appointments but I'm starting to feel this can't wait, I need help now. I'm sorry for the length of this, and I apologize ahead of time for any mistakes (I'm writing this at 5am, another sleepless night). What do I do?

[wandering_child]

Zozoyoyo has some really good advice! I'm 20 and in college, and like the above, I waited to get help until having such a large breakdown that I was forced into it. If you can tell that you need support *now*, don't wait.

If there's not a school counselor or authority figure you trust, maybe try a friend's parent or aunt/uncle/cousin you feel comfortable with. If nothing else, keep a journal or a blog where you can at least put your thoughts someplace. And no matter how busy you are, take some time in your day (maybe when you're having trouble sleeping) do things that you like. Start taking walks. I know these are silly things everybody says, but they'll help. At least tide you over until you can see somebody.

Remember, getting help now, even just somebody to listen is sooo much less shameful and expensive than going to the ER or mental hospital when it's gone too far! I know from experience. :/

Best of luck!

[Zozoyoyo]

I understand what your going through at the moment. Im nearly 18 and I've been suffering from depression since 11 due to continual family problems. What I've found has helped me most is getting support from a school councellor. I wish I had signed up for it sooner, but I unfortunately left it to the point where I had an emotional breakdown at school, where they referred me there. Thats the best option I can recommend, you don't need to be a certain age to sign up at the school, so you can get there as soon as you need to.

Don't be afraid, and stay strong. We're here for you.