I am a fifteen year old girl, and I feel I have been struggling with depression for a few years now. I find almost everything in life to be exhausting, and often the best thing I can think to do with myself is just sleep (and recently, past 5 months or so, sleep has become a major difficulty for me.) I have major mood swings and I can become upset or angry at the slightest, most worthless things. I cry over nothing, I often feel completely alone. I have also thought about suicide but I trust myself to be sensible enough to stray away from that. Now I also know teenagers are in general hormonal and often imbalanced. So I'm not sure if I am just going through life or if it is something more.
The difficult problem here is bringing it up to my mother. Me and her have a very strained relationship, and I'd say this is where most of the stress in my life comes from. Since I am still young I would need her to arrange an appointment, however I don't want to tell her how I feel. I've hinted at feeling depressed before and her response was negative, and I just felt stupid after trying. I know once I'm a little bit older I can make my own appointments but I'm starting to feel this can't wait, I need help now. I'm sorry for the length of this, and I apologize ahead of time for any mistakes (I'm writing this at 5am, another sleepless night). What do I do?