Sorry for the horrible title, as I'm really not sure how to ask this. I'll try to keep it simple:
My name is Millie, I'm 15, and I've been previously diagnosed with depression, ADHD/ADD, and generalized anxiety. I was diagnosed with all of this after a few "freak out" sessions where I would yell and cry in emotional rage. I was also becoming very depressive at the time, resulting in bouts of self-harm and suicide attempts. I was hospitalized in an institution twice, and that's where I was diagnosed. They put me on antidepressants and let me tell you.... that **** does NOT work. My condition became worse; my eating habits widely fluctuated, I was self-harming more, and I lost contact in reality (in the sense that I couldn't accurately recall events). Even my focus was at the worst it had ever been. Of course, I tried to hide all this from my parents. I didn't want to make their lives worse than I had already made them. Anyways, fast forward to present day and I've been off the meds for about a year. My mood shifts have been better, but I still don't feel "good". Despite taking ADD/ADHD meds, I still can't seem to focus often. To put things short, I'm basically a circumstantial, indecisive mess. Also, I'm not sure if this will help, but here's extra info about me in case it does.
- I have a very high IQ
- I was left to live alone with only one of my parents for an entire year
- I have absolutely DREADFUL sleep habits (I usually only get 2-3 hours a sleep, but that's happened every since I was little)
- I'm very active and have relatively good physical health (except my asthma)
- My depressive moods and anger are the worst of my symptoms
- I can be extremely hyperactive and goofy to the point where I'm making a fool of myself
- Socially awkward
Thank you to anyone who can help me.