Depression or am I being silly?

[beanie_white]

Hi,
So I'm 18 and have been in a relationship with my Boyfriend for 2 years we have had our problems along the way but since february our relationship started to get worse and then recently He gave me chlamydia and swore he didnt cheat but I know I didn't so all signs point to him and I had idea maybe he had cheated from things I had seen read etc etc but things have just been bad. I feel miserable all the time because of it, I can't stop thinking about it and it makes me angry and irritable and I end up snapping. But it also makes me feel bad about myself that he did it to me sounds silly but it makes me feel as if I'm unattractive I have always had insecurities about how I look and now i feel worse than ever I feel fat and ugly, i know a lot of teenagers say this but its got to the point where I try not to eat, I have even made myself sick after eating then afterwards I feel stupid as i know its not a good thing to do.
The whole situation has been during my exams until now and I can't seem to get over what has happened which makes me feel depressed and because I has led me to not trust him I feel constantly paranoid when he is with female friends as he said before they were "friends" then this happened but he continuely lied to me and now I cant stop thinking bout it and i cause arguements with him and I cry often but sometimes Im okay and then it just changes in a snap.
I feel embarrased to go the doctors because I don't know if I'm being silly and when I talk about the situation I cry and think about it all the time, I feel i can talk to anyone about it, I tried my Boyfriend and he tells me to stop being silly and then gets angry at me for bringing it up as we were trying to move forward but I cant not think about it everytime im with him. and when I'm with my friends i feel i got to pretend I'm having fun and just laugh for the sake of laughing because everyone else is, please can someone tell me if I'm over reacting or anything an outsiders opinion would be nice! sorry that its not very coherent!
please help :(

[beanie_white]

Yeah I know, just tryinging to weigh it up :(
Thank you :)

[j17c27]

I think, your boyfriend does not make you happy! I was in a relationship for 2 years and we reached a point where we just didnt get along so well anymore. It ended up being too much of a struggle to trust eachother, and the happy moments kept getting faker and faker.  It was really hard because he was my absolute best friend, but we knew our relationship had become more of a pain than a happy one.  The point of a boyfriend is to have someone by your side who give you confidence, to laugh with, to trust, to feel good.  It doesnt sound like you are happy! I cant tell you what to do, but I can tell you from my experience that when my boyfriend and I broke up at first I was devistated...but then I realized how much more I was laughing,....and how much more I smiled, and how much more confidence I got and how much more happy I was all together.  You have to decide whether this relationship is worth all this trouble! Relationships are super messy...but to me it seems like these depression symptoms are seriously stemming from your relationship.  Maybe talk to a therapist, they are great non judgemental people to talk to. good luck!