*Sorry for bad English, it isn't my mother tongue*
Since the last 9 months or so, I have not been feeling very good. I always feel really sad and almost nothing makes me happy. The things I use to love doing (like playing piano, going out with my friends, watching movies, etc.) became uninteresting. I feel like everything is more difficult and I can't do anything the right way (like piano or school). I can't always manage to fall asleep, but when I do, it's because I'm exhausted from crying so much. That makes me worn out all day. I always have bad headaches and sometimes heartache. I've grown to hate school, and my grades are dropping (I use to have very good grades). Every day before I leave for school, I always get really nervous and I get bad stomach aches. I'd really like to drop out, but I know it's not a good idea and I know my parents won't ever let me. I feel like I have no hope of a good future...
I've recently started cutting myself, It kind of feels "good", it "relieves" stress. I also think of suicide. I'd like to do it, but, for now, I know I don't have the courage. But I feel like the more time passes, the more I might get this courage.
I'm wondering if I have depression, because no one will take me seriously when I talk about it. They think, since I'm a teen, I'm only going through a phase or something like that. So I started wondering myself if it was really "just a phase".
Sorry for the long text, I just had to let it all out as I have no one to talk to. My "friends" (I don't really talk to them anymore) noticed I wasn't feeling very good, but they don't do anything about it. But I guess I can understand since no one likes to be around someone as negative as me...
By the way, I don't know if this is useful, but my family has a history of depression and suicide. I read biological factors could make you more at risk of having depression, but I don't know if this is true.
Thanks for reading and/or answering