I'm worried- do I have depression?

[Anon3101]

Im 14 years old and I'm genuinely worried I have depression. It started at the beginning of this year when I had a huge emotional blow and I started to cut my arms. I also stopped eating, sleeping or going out with my friends and frequently considered suicide. Recently I have been improving, with my friends supporting me to eat more and I go out more often. But i still suffer from serious sleep problems, getting at most 5 hours of sleep at night. Also, I have temporary relapses- self harming and crying for hours because of all of the past, even though I thought I was getting better. I'm worried about these relapses and I never considered depression until recently after one of these. I have researched into depression and seem to have the symptoms but maybe I'm over-reacting? I'd like to know what you think x

[mandapanda928]

Well do you feel like you have any of these symptoms or do you feel like it's something else? Maybe depression? I think that if you have the symptoms of borderline you should see a therapist first to see you, and to see if they can help with the diagnosis. And i think that you should talk to your family and tell them how you feel, or find someone your really comfortable with and tell them everything. To get it off your chest. Writing is also a good thing, write down your symptoms. And if you need to talk to me at any time you can. xoxo

[Anon3101]

Thankyou for the help, what do you think I should do now? xx

[mandapanda928]

    * Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to avoid abandonment, whether real or perceived
    * A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
    * Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
    * Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
    * Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
    * Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
    * Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
    * Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
    * Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

[Anon3101]

I do get scared about being alone, its one of the worst things for me. I'm not really sure what borderline personality disorder is though, what effects does it have? Thankyou for replying though xxx

[mandapanda928]

Yes depression is a good guess. I would think from what your saying you might actually have borderline personality disorder, usually this will start showing in teen years but isn't diagnosed till your an adult. Cutting your arms is to try to get out of your emotional pain. And stopping eating is a way of punishing yourself. Usually if you are a really sensitive person and you have overwhelming emotions you will do things like this, what you have explained. I have borderline personality disorder and i have done some of the same things. Do you have trauma from childhood, or fear of being a lone? I think that you should see a therapist asap. It may just be depression or anxiety (which can both lead to this also) but i would see a doctor and see what they think. It's great that your friends are supporting you to eat more. Don't hurt yourself because the way you feel is frustrating and scary i know, but you are so young and no matter what you will be okay. There are plenty of things you can do to make this better. For instance maybe get on the internet and look up coping skills. Or write down your feelings, anything to keep yourself distracted when your feeling at your worst. write back so i can see how your doing xoxo manda