My mother is extremely unsupporitive towards my depression

[tacitasunflower]

I am a sixteen year old girl and I am pretty sure I've been depressed for approximately two years. I've been feeling hopeless, sad, worthless, numb, I have suffered from insomnia, changes in appetite and suicidal thoughts. During this period I have been to two therapies (I am not sure how to call therm but they were pretty much weekly meeting with a psychologist without any medication or help from psychiatrist). Each lasted a few weeks and ended up after the psychologist advised my parents to take me to a phychiatrist. My mother will NEVER do that. Since I started feeling this way my mother has been extremely unsupportive towards me. She actually makes me feel even worse every time I try to talk to her about it. For example when a few months ago for the first time I told her that I wanted to die (which unfortunately is true up to this day) she told me that I am self-obsessed and selfish. She literally thinks that I have made up my sadness or that I am doing all of this for attention. I have lost hope that she could ever help me. She makes me feel that I am not worthy of help or love. God. This month is especially hard for me because I have A LOT of homework and tests due next week. And at the same time I feel terrible and I am unable to study. At least we have winter holiday(which end in 3 days) and I can spend all days at home. And lately I have become VERY suicidal. My friend advises me to go to the school counselor and I am afraid of doing this. I honestly have no idea what to do. I was thinking about calling a helpline for teenagers. Unfortunately, in my city to start any private therapy I need to go to the psychologist with my parents. Right now my mother is at work and I started to think about trying to talk to her and asking to take me to a psychologist but I am afraid of her reaction. Please tell me what you I should do. Thank you for your advice :)