I have tried some solutions of my own but if i try to do it i think that i will lost the things i like and for how long i can keep it.
your feelings, though,state of mind in the up and down uncontrollable, is time to seek help from a professional, mostly because when we are in tha dark claud, we are not our self. Please try to see a professional, and keep us up to day in how u are doing.
I think you need to talk to someone, either a responsible, concerned adult or therapist, and tell them you are feeling these different emotions and thoughts that fluctuate so much.You don't mention your age but at various times in peoples' lives they can be confused about their daily lives. Please talk to someone, you need to take care of yourself mentally and physically. Good luck and God bless.