Please help .

[kaymay83]

I would like to start off by saying that I am a 15 year old female sophomore . I make , or should I say "I've made", straight A's and I play on the basketball . Growing up , I lived with my grandparents and was also raised by them with the help of aunts and uncles . My grandfather died while I was at an early age , and after that it was just myself and my grandmother . My grandma was my best friend , my teacher , and also a mother . Two years ago my grandma became sick and unable to do for herself . I helped out as much as I could , but later on my biological mother moved in with us and helped her out . We did not get along at all . At the beginning of this year my grandma passed away . When she passed , I skipped days of school due to my grieving and preparation of her funeral . My grades started to drop and I was left to stay with my biological mother . As I said we didn't get along before my grandma died , so after it got worst . My mom always had a drug and alcohol problem . We began to argue a lot and I was put into my aunt's house to live temporary until my "mom" gets better . Around this time summer was starting . Last year around this time , I would have been on the beach , hanging out with my friends , going to amusement parks , and enjoying my life as a teenager . Everything is different now . My aunt doesn't let me go anywhere , so i don't have a social life . I basically don't have any friends anymore . Then i kinda realize that i never really had any . Everyday i just lay here and cry my eyes out . I feel as if my life has been taken from me and i don't want it back . If anyone can help me please do . Please no negative comments .

[feelhelplesss]

wow I am in the same situation as you except i am the grandma and i have my grand daughter and i just read your post and started to think about my baby when i pass.... I am so sorry your going through this. please keep me posted and if you ever need to talk i am right here. please dont hesitate ...My grand daughter is the light of my life and it breaks my heart hearing your story because its the same one im living in having my grand daughter and her mother being a drug addict and all she ever really wants is to be with her mother but her mother is to busy making a mess of her own life...if you dont mind can i ask you a couple of questions about how you felt when you were growing up ... only because if i can make the right decision for my grand daughter and prevent her from going through what you are going through i would much appreciate it...Im sorry i will be back i have to go get her she is only 7 right now..I will understand if you dont want to answer any questions ....but if you ever just need to talk please dont hesitate to talk to me...

[zoefletcher]

Hi there. Are you seeing anyone to help you work through your troubles? A therapist of some sort can help greatly, and they may suggest (or you can ask) a teen support group where you can meet other teenagers who know sort of how you feel whom you could become friends with. It sort of sounds like you don't really have anyone who is listening to you and supporting you, and that's where therapists and support groups can really come in handy. And what about your school counsellor? I have grown very close to my own, she has been my rock in many ways and I can tell she genuinely cares about me, she's not just 'doing her job'. If you find it difficult to go to a separate therapist, or your aunt won't allow you, then a school counsellor could definitely be a good solution.

It's important to remember that your living arrangements are temporary. In a few years, you'll be old enough to move out and become independent. You'll be able to control how much your aunt and your mother are in your life, though I hope you'll go easy on them. I can't imagine how hard it is for you, and I don't have experience with a parent being an addict, but it seems to me that your mum really does want to be a part of your life and loves you very much. Anyway, it's your call and you know your mother better than I do.

I hope you have some hope for the future. The pain you're describing seems largely circumstantial, which is good because that means that when your circumstances improve, so too will your mood and enjoyment of life. Let me express that I am in no way belittling your pain, and I know that the battles you are fighting are very very tough. But you WILL meet people with whom you will bond with strongly, sometimes it just takes time. Adolescence is a strange and difficult period (I'm a teenager without a lot of friends either, so I know what you mean) but it doesn't last forever. You'll meet people and start working and move out and create your own life. It WILL get better, you just have to endure the ride. So please hold on hope!!

I am a teenage girl (16) who has also been dealing with depression, and I am more than happy to talk to you, listen to you and just generally be a friend if that would help. :) Hope you find something that helps you. Do you still play basketball? Do you find that playing basketball helps you feel better? If so, then play basketball, and play it a lot. Or you could branch out, maybe try something new, join a club at school and meet new people. It's a way of getting more of a social life without your aunt getting mad -- after all, it's just school stuff! Also some of the clubs might run during lunch hour or something?

Best of luck x

[krisnile]

I have a 18 year old daughter.. She's the apple of my eye. She lives with her dad always has, he was a better prover for them. I have a 22 year old son also! Anyways I know at one time she didn't understand why she didn't live with me,but know understands and glad I did. But I was always within 10 miles from them. They came every weekend and in the summer stayed every other week..you say its to late for her to be a good mom I hope you don't mean that... Its never to late for people  to change and do better, unless your heart is scared to get hurt...what would make you happy?

[kaymay83]

Thank you so much for responding to this . We mainly don't get a long because of the fact that she does drugs and she chooses them over me . When I confront her about it she gets so upset and that's where we clash . At the same time , I live with my aunt now . It's so much better than living with my mom and she knows that I am somewhat happier here so she is trying to get me back so she can "try to be a better mother" . I feel like it's too late for that . All I want to be is happy , but with her I'm nothing close to it . Thanks again .

[krisnile]

Hey kaymay, 15 years old wow I remember those days, I'm so sorry for your lost,ii know how hard it is to lose someone so close. I lost both my parents last year and they were my best friends I also lived right beside them. Anyway so you and your mom don't get along ! Do you now why y'all don't? Is it the drug and alcohol or ya'll just don't get along. Do you resit her for leaving you? Just trying to help you Thats why I'm asking all these questions.... And why won't your aunt let you out of the house?