Answers

[LittleGirl18]

Im 18 years old with a beautiful home with my boyfriend, we been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 months now i been to a doctors but they said wait a little longer then come back, well i have really irregular periods they are all over the place they last for 5 to 6 days and 3 to 4 days and sometimes they are a full regular period that lasts up to 7 days and the time apart are like 22 days 24 days and 27 days to 33 days i have no idea when im suppose to ovulate please help.. thank you.

[AmyUK89]

If your from the UK.. the doctors want you to be trying for atleast 2 years before they refer you to the fertility clinic...

On an average cycle (which is 28days) you would ovulate 14 days of the first day of you period... Also the doctor would class you periods as regular, That is out mine are.. Mine are between days 27-37 and they say they are regular..

Try not to think about getting pregnant, if you smoke (give up - same rules apply for your boyfriend), and the same with alcohol, if you drink, make sure its minimum, caffeine is also bad for you.. take folic acid (or multivits etc.. eat the right foods, excersize)

[LittleGirl18]

Yes i smoke its really hard to quit cuz my boyfriend wont, we rarely drink im taking prenatal's my docs gave me. for the past month i havent been thinking about it.. but yeah..but also my periods dont come on time there always a day early or 2 days early.. im just so confused. lmfao

[AmyUK89]

I was in exactly the same suituation.. I was smoking for 9 years.. and I gave up 6 weeks ago.. and my othe half still smokes, its fraustrating lol..

You could also track your temp and stuff like that (altho i nver do that cause i dont quite understand it lol)

[LittleGirl18]

Yeah i don't understand that.

[remar]

You're so young being only 18. It's great that you and your boyfriend have your own place. Are you truly ready for a baby though? They are very expensive and take up all of your time. Can I ask if the two of you plan to get married? I believe a child needs both parents in it's life if at all possible. Sorry if it seems that I'm lecturing. I'm just old school and want what's best for every child.

[AmyUK89]

Remar.. I can see what your saying and I know your asking these questions to *LittleGirl18* But I personally dont think whether they are going to marry is relevant as now a days not many couples are married who have children and the children are settled in a loving home... and also back in the day at the age of 18/19 you were married and having kids etc... so its no different now :-)

[LittleGirl18]

Me and my boyfriend don't believe in that marrying crap. not to sound all rude but whats the point in marrying someone ? you just buy an expensive ring and its on paper that your married? My boyfriend is 20 years old. im 18 he has a really good job and my family would help me plus id be at my dads place, my dad was a single parent raised me and my brothers all by himself. my mom was never in the picture until we were at least 15 16 years old. but my mom is now making up the years that she missed.. by helping me if id ever get pregnant. i know its not gonna be easy i know it will take alot of time off my hands but i don't care as long as i have my boyfriend by my side and my family there with me too.. i don't need to go out and hang with my friends they come by me. lol i don't need to party cuz im not old enough but whats the point in drinking and w.e that's not good for me.. but yeah other ppl may not think im ready but i know for sure that i am ready..

[AmyUK89]

Good answer... Providing you feel ready then go for it :-) and I dont agree with marriage that much either to be honest

[amandarobbins]

Stop trying and just let it happen

[LittleGirl18]

Yeah we trying to get pregnant but i dont know when i ovulate. its really confusing me.

[remar]

What's the point in marrying someone? Lets see, it shows your children you loved this man enough to make those vows and to take his name. It is not just a piece of paper. It is a commitment. I was a teen mother and I married my daughters father. My daughter is very proud that her parents have been married so long and have been through good and bad times together. She has always had her two parents in her life. You say your family will help you? That's all good. But, they do have lives of their own and have raised their children. My husband and I worked different shifts so one of us could always be with our daughter. We never got any kind of public assistance. I am very proud of my marriage certificate and wedding ring.And no, it did not cost much at all. My daughter is proud of us too. You have to think of that child first, not just what you want. Yes, it's all fun being pregnant and getting attention. When that baby comes it will require all of your attention. You'll see.

[LittleGirl18]

Yeah i guess i did get it all wrong.. my boyfriend was talking to me lastnight about us getting married...

[lboogie7735]

Hi, I'm remar's daughter Tara. She had me the day after she turned 16, my dad was 19, and they were married. They worked incredibly hard and needed the help of my aunt and grandma to babysit while they both worked so we could have a house, transportation and a private education for me. I am incredibly fortunate in the fact that my parents were extremely mature at young ages due to some pretty serious issues they had already dealt with in their own lives. My mom lost her father, grandmother and cousin in the year leading up to my birth. My dad's father had recently been diagnosed with cancer and was dealing with an amputation that gave him serious medical problems his whole life.
I came and I was their world, they loved me more than anything. You know what? My life was STILL incredibly difficult. Neither of my parents were old enough to have seen their own issues with mental illness and addiction manifest yet. They didn't realize they had created a baby with lots of inherited traits like an anxiety disorder and my father's alcoholism, to name a few. I'm 35 now and I've been sober 2 years and 7 months after drinking for 20 years. Next week I'll celebrate 3 years since I quit smoking, another 20 year habit. I have a college education, that I obtained after dropping out of high school and being a professional partier. My life was an absolute mess from a young age for a long time.
I was raised not to take government assistance, and I never have. My parents were really amazing parents, but they both know how hard it was on me growing up in an environment that wasn't totally stable and wasn't totally solid yet. I don't mean financially. Your relationship will change with your boyfriend, time, and life, will test it. Life is incredibly unpredictable. If you are willing to make a lifetime commitment to a child I would think you would want it to be WITH the person you want in your life as your committed partner. I have a friend who decided to keep her baby from a relationship with someone she wasn't going to stay with. He got cancer, and he died this summer at 4 years old. She was a 36 year old, single mother. No one could have predicted that is what she would be facing by taking on parenthood, but you never know at any age. I think she would have already lost her mind by now if she were younger and dealing with this alone. The odds are much more in your favor raising a child with 2 parents. I know, I am the only child of teenage parents, and yes I am so glad that made the commitment to stay together and look out for 'us' as a 'family'. I don't have kids, never been married, and that's unlikely to change, I chose a different route because I felt the ramifications of the responsibility of young parenthood, and I wanted no part of it for myself.
Life is incredible, there is a big world out there. Try not to limit yourself by taking on too much too soon and thereby burdening a child with that. It limits what is possible for them too. I wish you the best.

[remar]

I agree with everything my daughter, lboogie wrote. Can you see now how hard it is to have a child at any age, let alone being a teen? You have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time to have children. We really are not trying to get on to you because we can not make you change your mind if you don't want to. We come to these forums because we have experience and we care so much. I have 3 nephews and between them they have 10 children. None of them are married. They don't see their children most of the time, if at all. It's really sad. No child deserves that. And yes, we do help out with the children when we can. We really do care and that's why we commented on your post. It would be great to see you go to college, get married, have a career and then have children. Something to really think about. Every child deserves the best life possible.

[LittleGirl18]

Yeah thanks for commenting..

[9char_maine4]

By the sounds of it LittleGirl18 feels that her and her hubby are ready for this. They may not be 25 - 30 years old but they obviously have a stable relationship and feel that they are ready to become parents. It is not like they are 13 - 16 trying to get pregnant shes 18 and most countrys/states thats considered to be an adult. Just because they are not planning on getting married right away doesnt mean that they never will. My mom and biological father are not together he became abusive so she left, she raised two children (at a young age) that were both babies by herself for three years. She met my step dad and they have been together since. they have still not gotten married (yet, my dad wants to when they get a new house) but both me and my brother turned out fine. Your parents dont have to be married and they dont have to be your biological parents. Kids become who they become because of their enviroment and their experiences. just an opnion lol no means to offend anyone :)

[LittleGirl18]

Thanks 9char_maine4

[lboogie7735]

I just sincerely do not understand the rush. You are still changing as a person yourself. What you want now, in terms of what you do for a living, where you live, who you want to spend you time with, who you are as a person, will probably be different at 18 than it is when you are 25. You haven't lived long enough to have the breadth of experience that an older parent can bring to the situation. My cousin had a baby at 18 and she turned out to be so premature she was 1.6lbs at birth. He and the baby's mom spent the first 4 or 5 months of Kyla's young life at the hospital. They had been together for 3 years at that point, lived together, were engaged, and let me tell you, things changed. Have a kid with someone you are not married to and you are going to have very little say in what goes on when it's their turn to have the kid, if you two are no longer together. My parents are the ONLY teenage parents I know who have stayed together. ALL of the other kids I know born to teenage parents have been on some sort of welfare, WIC, food stamps, whatever. There have been issues with custody. You do not know what the future holds. I think there is this misconception that if you want it bad enough and you're convinced you'll love it so much, than it must be meant to be, NOW! If it's meant to be it will happen. You shouldn't have to force it. My question's are: do you have a solid education, a solid career, money in the bank in terms of savings in case of the unexpected, health insurance for yourself, your name on your place and vehicle? Who is paying for everything when the baby gets here? I am not ok with working my a$$ off to pay for teenage mother's kids when I choose to get educated and NOT have kids. Tax dollars come from people like me. If you can support the kid entirely on your own, go for it, I wish you all the luck in the world. You'll see how hard it is if it ends up that you have a baby like me (like a LOT of babies) who didn't sleep through the night for 10 months! I would just like to hear one person under the age of 20 give me a valid reason for having a kid as young as 17 or 18. There is no good reason. Statistically the odds will be against you and your baby, always. Why do that to yourself and the kid? Notice how none of you that want kids at a young age come from a 2 parent home? Think about that. Why do YOU guys think that is? I've spent many years in counseling and I would have gone into psychology if I wasn't already so burnt out on dealing with people. I see patterns and I find it disturbing that kids aren't bright enough to see them patterns in themselves and address their own issues with self esteem, identity issues, relationship issues, etc. and instead think that things will somehow be better by bringing a baby into the world. That baby might cry or be sick all the time, it may have down syndrome or autism, my point is that it is unlikely that it will be the dreamboat kids seem to think it is. I witness it everyday. Kids at the store, dragging their kids around, and a look of resentment on their face by the time that kid is 2 or 3. The parent(s) is stuck dealing with the responsibility of child rearing while their friends go off to college, get to travel, work and live wherever they want. What is so wonderful about having a baby so young? It's usually a huge sign that there is a void in your life, something is missing. I'm telling you, making another person will make life harder on everyone. Get an education, make the world a better place! Don't be a statistic. Aren't you all capable of more than that? ANYONE can squeeze out a kid, that is no great accomplishment I assure you. If you are really "SET" in life, than you shouldn't need any government handouts to have and raise the babies you all seem to want so badly. Right?!?! You should be grown and responsible enough to do it on your own. So if the dad leaves are you going back home to your parents and get on food stamps, how are you working out day care, and schooling later on? Think! That's all I'm saying, think really hard about the biggest decision you can make in your life. Once it's here there's no taking it back, and it may look at you one day like I used to do to my parents and say "I didn't ask to be here, you fix this!". Good luck ladies. Just my .02, as the voice of 'children of teenage parents', and the witness and relative of many.

[yourstruly21]

I honestly dont see age as a factor if yu truly believe yu are ready....I am only 18 and pregnant with my first and im beyond ready, although I am married I dont see that as being relevant....but like others have said just let it happen...it took me over a year and it happened the one month I sincerely was not trying

Dont give up it will happen in its own time

[lboogie7735]

With age comes life experience, and responsibility. Age is a huge factor if you are not even grown enough to be out on your own which the one girl says she is not. Both still smoke. A 17 or 18 year old that cannot even give up smoking, (which I did after smoking for 20 years, on my own) is a perfect indication that they have work to do on themselves, first. Like I said, you got your own place, a solid career, money in the bank, a place with your name on it, be my guest, have at it. Still living at home, smoking, not able to commit to a relationship for life? You are kidding yourself if you think this will be easy. Age IS a factor. I was a pretty smart cookie at 18, but I am like freaking Yoda at 35 with all I have lived through, dealt with and witnessed. Ask my mom. At 18, she had a 2 year old (me), a husband (celebrating 36 years of marriage next month), a house, a car, help in the form of a 'safe' babysitter' with my grandma and aunt, and life was STILL a struggle! That's probably because we took no help from the government. Any of you ladies on here can say that? That you are, or plan, to do this without any assistance? Than, again, AGE IS RELEVANT!
I don't understand this fascination with making babies. Do you all have nothing else to do with your lives? I mean that very sincerely. What else to you plan to do with your life and what kind of person do you expect your child to be? I can see why my mom gets so infuriated being on these boards feeling like she is talking to a brick wall. She lived it, and I am the walking talking proof! Just because YOU want it, don't think the kid is going to be happy that you drug it into this world before the right time. Just because you BELIEVE something, it does not make it so. Okay? My beliefs have changed radically over the years, but then again I am a very introspective, insightful person who is always trying to learn and be a better person. I am just ashamed at the generation that is so representative of mediocrity. Kids that aren't very bright, having kids that likewise will not be very bright more than likely. I see it as the dumbing down of the world really, not just America. Read some statistics. The more educated you are, the less likely you are to have a child at a young age which almost always results in a follow up kid right behind that one. You are more likely to live in poverty and need government assistance if you have a child at a young age. Educated people all over the world are holding off on having kids till later in life because they are in the 'REAL' world where they have to pay for everything themselves and they see how unaffordable it is to feed another mouth. They are choosing to have only one child, or like me, none at all. I just think it is the most selfish thing to put your own wants and needs (those of an 18 year old no less!) ahead of that of a human being that could have a better life if you all could just relax and find something productive to do with your time until nature takes it's course. What if you don't have a baby? Then what? Is that the end of the world? Is that all you have to offer? You girls seem bent on limiting yourselves and your children's futures, but you just don't see it that way. Do you know how many woman die in childbirth across the world? Watch a documentary called "Half the Sky", see how it is all over the planet and then tell me about your first world problems of not being able to conceive at 18 freaking years old. I shake my head because Americans are so into themselves. LittleGirl18, you said your boyfriend wants to talk about getting married? There you have it. Someone in the situation sees that you don't just 'make' babies, you 'raise families'. Sorry to sound so hostile but I've been on birth control for 20 years and I'll never stop advocating for those of us who had it rough because our parents were too d*mn young!

[LittleGirl18]

Ummm Ok? come on i was looking for some answers and your telling me not to get pregnant. TF? im 18 years old my boyfriend is 20 i am ready to be a mother.. no doubt about that... nobody can change my mind this is what i want i know what im getting into... sooo dont try to talk me out of it.

[remar]

My daughter lboogie is just trying to give you advice, and it is extremely good advice. She is trying to tell you how very hard it is to raise a child. It is expensive, it is very time consuming. If just some of the young girls here would read what we've written and think, maybe I should wait, maybe I should get and education, get married, have a home, a car, insurance, money in the bank. It would be great. My daughter is right. ALL of the teen girls we know that are pregnant or have children are on assistance and that comes out of the taxes we pay. So, we feel like we have a right to say something because our money is being used to raise these children. It really boils down to us caring about these children and what kind of life they're going to have. I won't because you are set on having a baby. I would love to see you print these comments out though and in a year or so, when ever you do have a baby, take them out and read them.

[lboogie7735]

That's exactly what I was thinking mom. I wonder what they will think at age 21 or 25 or 30, or even 35 like ME! So old! :) I never said don't have a kid. I said from what I have witnessed, and lived through, it is a wise choice to wait until later in life to bring a baby into this world.

[LittleGirl18]

FINE I WONT HAVE A FREAKKING BABY THEN! DAMN OK is that what you wanna hear?