I have tmj too and ive always wonder the same thing.
Have you ever had surgery for it?
the facial changes I have are from surgery I think. I can notice it but no one else can.
If you do the proper exercises, wear mouth guard, use muscle relaxants when it becomes too painful and treat your jaw like gold than its possible to at least get to a place where you can live with it.
I had surgery 17yrs ago I am not 35 and the pain came back 4yrs ago.
I always wear my mouthguard and have since I was 15. I have osteoarthritis in my one joint and the other side the disk is folded in half.
I do not want another surgery so I have done my best to do whatever it takes not to aggravate the jaw.