Depression

[stella5349]

I read a journal on depression with thyroid issues ealier today. It really bothered me.  I cried.

I wanted to look past my recent nodule Dx and go back to what I think I need to do to get past this. I thought I would like to make my comment public - I hope all of you don't think weird of me - but I want all of us in support of each other.

OK-- see below: ........................


Anyone who feels unhealthy for soooooooooo long like thyroid patients, gets depressed. I suffered and maybe still do a little depression of not being "well" What a crummy road we are on!

I hate to sound like a cheeleader - but for all of us. "IT" has made US better AND stronger people to get sick!  

It is a tough road - but our values have changed  ..... right? We become educated and able to decifer good information and not so good. We find the courage to put the medical field or anyone for that matter in it's place when absolutely necessary and defend what we believe. We appreciate the simplier things and toss out the attitude of keeping up the the Jones'  Our friends become something we appreciate in a different way and we are more cautious on who we trust. We realize the importance of unconditional love . We also fall in reality that we are not invinceable and that scares us half to death. Tell me we are not better people now?

We can move past depression but it takes work. Go back to your roots and remember your self as a child. Happy just to get up in the morning and play or whatever. .... Happy without cause.  As adults, we can improvise that theory into our daily routine - we just have to find it in our own way and do it! Regardless how we feel.  We are smarter now and that is a good thing - appreciate it.

Most importantly - everyone of us have meet another here that can relate to US!! What a perfect circle if you think about it.  It is a true gift that we are all here together. I am thankful.

We all need a lift lately.

Better days are ahead. Let's make them.

[stella5349]

You sound like a mountain today. Keep it up

[Applecore]

I remember back when I first started with the thyroid stuff,  the fear was terrible and nothing seemed to take it away.  I quoted scripture,did everything.  Finally I decided and I wrote this on my wall of scriptures and quotes on my kitchen cabinets.  I am walking through the fear and that did it for me.  Fear no longer had a grip on me, I had a grip on it.  It didn't like it - it was like holding onto some yukky thing but I did it - I walked through it and made it.   I h ope others can know we may not feel as good as we want to feel but we will survive and for me it is with the help of the Lord.     love and thanks for always your confidence in me.  Linda

[Applecore]

I remember back when I first started with the thyroid stuff,  the fear was terrible and nothing seemed to take it away.  I quoted scripture,did everything.  Finally I decided and I wrote this on my wall of scriptures and quotes on my kitchen cabinets.  I am walking through the fear and that did it for me.  Fear no longer had a grip on me, I had a grip on it.  It didn't like it - it was like holding onto some yukky thing but I did it - I walked through it and made it.   I h ope others can know we may not feel as good as we want to feel but we will survive and for me it is with the help of the Lord.     love and thanks for always your confidence in me.  Linda

[stella5349]

Applecore

That is the best positive post I have read in this thread because it is from you.

Your heart is pure. I believe we all show our strength when we can take a look at the bright sides instead of always concertrating on the bad. That is harder to do as we all here realize.

Health comes from happiness we need to go back and remember that. Find strength in the good things we love and the bad will just be hurdles we have to face.

Keep it up Linda.

[Applecore]

This is Linda and without you guys when I was going through my real bad thyroid stuff I don't know what I would have done.  You all listened and commented and listened and comments etc. etc.  You never got tired of my complaining or asking questions as I didn't know anything and wasn't getting anything much from my doctors.  It helped me to have patience to wait until things started working.   Well at this point it is still hard for me to say really positive things but I'll try.  Yesterday I preached and I thought I would make it only through a little message, but PTL I went all the way and the response from the message was terriffic.  I had a really good day for me yesterday.  I think I only cried once or twice and not much.  I am going to the holistic doctor today.  I was thinking some wrong thoughts but I am much tougher now than I used to be and can speak for myself.  Give me a few months and then I will be able to tell you all how this episode has strengthened me and made me a better person.   I do agree that some things aren't as important any more.  My husband has been showing himself a person that I never knew existed in him.  His help has been incredible.  He is one of the few that has compassion for me and understands to the best of his ability.  I am still fighting the battle and I have a sign hanging in my kitchen amongst many other scripture signs pasted on my cabinets NEVER NEVER QUIT and thats the truth for we will all get through this and as many of you have already found out you are better people than you were before.   I hope some of this comment has been positive for I meant it to be.  Let you all know how my doctor's appointment goes.  Stella,  I am going to ask for a blood test in 6 weeks.  I will see if he will do it.    Congradulations to all of you who have made it to stability.  I am working on it with the help of God.   love to you all Linda

[stella5349]

You too Christy - Bring your shovel -

I would probably get more work out of a kangaroo you could ship me then what I get with my teenagers.

[Christy1950]

We here is Aussi land would just love to shovel snow it has been between 33 and 43.3 degrees lately.

[AR-10]

No more snow!
no more snow!
No more snow!

Until Tuesday :(

Oh, what the heck.
I haven't shoveled a lick all winter. :)

[stella5349]

I don't want to be th same person anymore _ I like me (only wish 20 pound thinner:)

I have a clearer understanding of what's important now even though brain fog get me forgetful.

I love my friends here and I have never respected any group of people more in my lefe than this forum.

Good luck Josic - we are pulling for you. You will be the best person ever in your life very soon.

Kitty - way to go on the working thing - if you want since you have all that new found energy ---I got a million things to do here. Just grab your snow shovel and "Come on down!!"

[Josic]

You all have great posts and I agree totally.  I had my TT in October and before all this I was really never sick.  It has turned my life around and you certainly learn patience.  I was never a patient person or never had to deal with myself being ill.  I have definitely changed.  I can't even go back to what I use to do, not yet anyway.  I have been bed ridden since October and it's going to be hard to get back into things.  It's a long road.  I not as confident, not as sure about myself.  I was pretty tough, nothing usually got in my way.  But now, it's all different.  It's like going through a war almost.  A war with yourself.  I've had a lot of problems through these months, in and out of hospitals.  I can't stand hospitals anymore.  It's like your a new toy to disect when they get a hold of you.

I just want to recover through this and move on to a new existence, whatever that will be.  We certainly have to be more healthy now.  Have to track our synthroid and calcium.  If I dont' spread my calcium out during the day, my feet tell me.  I hope to someday get my dosage at the perfect spot.  I'm still dealing with that.  I hope to have my vocal chord come back to me one day, I'm still dealing with that.  I have given up on feeling like I use to, I just want to feel good one way or another.  Maybe we have to accept just feeling a different way and accept it.  Because I don't think the other person will ever really be back.  It's hard to accept.  I know this sounds crazy but it's the way I have to feel at this point.

It's no easy road.  Maybe for some lucky person out there, but I don't think anyone going through thryoid surgery really has it any easy way.

I appreciate all these thoughts you have, they make me feel better about everything.  Like there's other people out there going through what you are so it's ok, your not alone.  Thanks again.  Josi

[kitty9309]

I worked 7 hours today!! That is the longest I have worked in 19 months. I used to complain when I had to work a weekend- no longer. I am  so glad I can do it and feel normal once again.
I have been undiagnosed since at least 1994 and I now have a wonderful thyroid specialist who is also looking into other things that may be going on with my health- namely adrenal dysfunction and possible untreated CNS Lyme disease.
He feels something else may be going on with the hypo. No doctors have taken the time to look further than their original tests.
I have cried a lot over the past 19 months because no doctors could find the answer to my problems. I had given up hope that I could ever feel well again.
A former member here put me in touch with this new endo and I feel so much hope now!!
I am grateful.

Thank you stella for starting this thread!!

[kitty9309]

I worked 7 hours today!! That is the longest I have worked in 19 months. I used to complain when I had to work a weekend- no longer. I am  so glad I can do it and feel normal once again.
I have been undiagnosed since at least 1994 and I now have a wonderful thyroid specialist who is also looking into other things that may be going on with my health- namely adrenal dysfunction and possible untreated CNS Lyme disease.
He feels something else may be going on with the hypo. No doctors have taken the time to look further than their original tests.
I have cried a lot over the past 19 months because no doctors could find the answer to my problems. I had given up hope that I could ever feel well again.
A former member here put me in touch with this new endo and I feel so much hope now!!
I am grateful.

Thank you stella for starting this thread!!

[stella5349]

We need to all be together. Spread the word to have people read it and report it. My intent is to gather as many stories possible and get some awareness out there on the research we need.

Thank you for your post.

[tiredforever]

Hi Stella,
This is the most positive post I have read on this forum.  I stumbled on to the forum when I was diagnosed with Hashi's and at my lowest but soon realized I had a much better deal than so many others.  

I am improving steadily now & went for a five hour walk last weekend in the sunshine at the beach and the whole time kept thinking how damn great it was to be there and how damn great to be actually able to work for five hours  (not that  long since I stuggled to get out of bed).

You guys are so right - we become different people after a long period of illness and I know I am a better person.  (I am pretty sure I know how old age will be if I make it!)

When I was told I had this condition I went home and cried because for the first time in 10 years someone had listened to me & understood it wasn't 'in my head' and I had made it without it beating me!

it seems to me that strength is somehow born from weakness and we can only understand joy by knowing pain.

Cheers to all of you

[stella5349]

Thanks Jessie - I hope more read this.

[Jessi63]

  Seriously You guys almost made me cry. Great posts.  We need more positive post or should I say realization post on here sometimes.  Makes you think and bring you back to reality.  Thanks guys.  Jessi

[AR-10]

What a great post!

I have sevral thoughts, so this gives me a reason to blather on for pages!

When I first developed thyroid problems, I had some trouble with mild depression. The doctor I was seeing at that time gave me a sample pack of anti'depressants, and told me if I liked them he would write me a scrip.

After I went home and read about all the side affects, I decided I could live with a little mopyness, and told him I wasn't interested in anti-depressants.

As my disease worsened, it got out of control and I ended up sitting home for several months unable to work.

When that happened I started have severe depression for two reasons. I had "situational depression", because sitting at home too sick to work was very depressing, and I also had a chemical imbalance that caused "clinical depression".

I saw a shrink the other day, by the way. When we started talking about depression, he told me "clinical depression" was no longer in vogue, and they were calling it something more upbeat now. LOL!! He also told me if I wasn't depressed about what life was dealing me, he would question my sanity. :)

You are right about adversity making one stronger. I had never been truly ill a day in my life untill I developed thyroid problems. Working through my difficulties the past few years has been a real learning experience.

My attitudes and values have changed drasticly. I have more empathy for others now, as I understand what it is like to be ill for long periods of time.

My values have changed a lot. I thank God for any day I can get out of bed. Being able to shower is a bonus!

I was never huge on "keeping up with the Joneses", but now I care even less. Family matters more than it used to, and I have a very thorough understanding of the concept that we should all enjoy every day we are given and live it as if it may be our last.

Because it may be our last. That is not true for just us, it is true for any person. But the point has been driven home to me in spades.

I have also been shown how blessed I am to have such good friends in my home town. When the chips were down they came through for me in ways I never expected.

The people I have met on various boards have been a huge help, and I have formed friendships with people I probably will never meet, but the friendship is real, and it has been a blessing.

I wish I had not become ill. Oh how I wish I had my thirty year old body back.

But this experience has caused me to grow, and I have received many blessings because of it, and I am thankful for that.

I'm not scared of needles anymore, either. LOL!!