Neurological problems, so scared.

[Rogolavet]

In the begging I want to say I am 30 years old male, and my issues start back in 2014. Sorry in advance for long post but I will do my best to describe what I am dealing with.
In 2014 I was too obese and started feeling that my muscles get tired easily. I mean for 6-7 stairs it would feel like I walked 60-70, but if I stop this tiredness stops as well. Also while chewing my masticator muscles would feel exhausted not long after start. Also I had GERD, reflux and gastritis with helicobacter pylori. I went to se neurologist, they did exam, Lyme test, tnt test for myasthenia and antibodies test for some autimmune disease. Everything came back normal. During this helicobacter episode I became very anxious about health and had many episodes of going to ER, and different specialists for exams. Started worrying for family, for myself and had pretty bad anxiety. I lost weight in 2015, did therapy for helico and was feeling better. Symptoms did not go further, and there were periods when my muscles were okay, except when I am nervous or anxious. So that lasted for abut year and a half. During whole this time I actively was wondering if something is wrong with me. Occasionally, once in a couple of months I would get cramp, spasm in muscles under ribs, between ribs and abdomen, on one side. For example during sitting movement in car. It sometimes was right, sometimes was left side of ribcage, I mean under. In 2016. I had a folk dance concert, it was like more than hundred concerts before that one but I felt nervous and my legs were shaking like crazy. Then, sometimes during 2016, or 2017 I had very anxious episodes and stress and in that time I notices that sometimes when I wake up during night my left eye sees darker than right one. It would last for a minute or so and then everything would be the same again  but strange feeling would stay in eye. It would happen for example a couple of times per month or two. I went to see ophthalmologist and she said everything was fine, no problems. After some time I saw that if I flex my biceps for example my arm would tremor. Did not give much thought to that. I found great and beautiful girlfriend and was happy with my life. Than college graduation was in beggining od 2019. and I was so nervous for my last exam infront of family and friend and it felt so hard to talk, like my muscles do not want to let me, but I managed and noone saw anything. During all this time I was having a feeling my tongue is getting weaker. Also all this time I felt like if I am lying down and raise only my head to see something neck gets tired almost immediately. In 2019. after college I am coming back home and started working. I soon went to official long trip and I was nervous because of fear of flying, representing my company among all those people and so. So I got twitches in my eyelid and felt like my neck cannot hold my head, like it is to heavy and neck is not strong enough. I thought, okay you are nervous, it is anxiety, it will pass and it did. 6 months later I am suddenly feeling weakness in my right fist but without clinical presentation. Also I have weird feeling in my legs as they are tired and I feel I am trembling easier. Like when I am bending over my lower back shakes a little and I cannot stay for a long time in that position. Also my righ arm started shaking when I yawn from time to time. IT was weird. I then  was googling and reading about ALS, MS and so on and got serious anxious attack. Did not eat, did not sleep for days, lost weight and BODY WIDE twitching and jerking started. Twitching was really bad as was getting more scared. I went to see neurologist, she did exam and did not see anything wrong  and sent me to emng and TNT test I think name is with electricity hitting you face. All were normal. Did thyroid hormones - normal. Did vitamin d, it was on lower scale but inside reference. So she told me that she think it is psychological and I should go to therapist and solve my anxiety. I was going but it did not help. I went to another neurologist whom did thorough examination and said there is nothing wrong neurologically and I should stop worrying. During all these years I was so scared that if I see disabled person on the street I would immediately wander myself what is wrong there, is it als, ms, something I am having and it would ruin my day. If I hear that someone I know has MS of ALS I would be in panic mode for days, feeling all kind of symptoms. A started feeling that (english is not my native language so I will give my best to explain) when I am in negative contraction my muscles tremble. For example if I am kissing when I press lips it is okay buy when I release them they tremble. If I pull something in gym no problem, but while releasing it back I tremble/tremor. Also I saw that if I for example warming up the shoulders, while doing round movement with them my back would tremor. Or, for example, if I do ABS exercise during half way on getting torso up, my back would shake violently. I started getting tremors when nervous. In 2021. september my girlfriend broke up with me and it was really hard for me, so I became so sad, angry and anxious for days, constantly asking myself questions. During this time I notices that my fingers are jerking from time to time when I use them and if I slowly rotate my wrist it would tremor. (I noticed this in 2016. as well but only a couple of times). Also I noticed when I get acute nervous, for example when she told me she has someone new, my neck would shake uncontrollably, but it was not noticeable for others, just for me. Also my eyelids on both eyes started twitching after breakup and was constantly twitching for months. Like crazy. I started going to gym and realized that I tremor while I practice, even on stretching and some easy exercises I would tremor like crazy. Couple of month after, eyelids stopped, and they occur from time to time when I am anxious, but body wide twitching never stopped, it is here always. Some days more some days less. Then I realized my mouth feel weird and my lips tremor and tremble when I am blowing soup or coffee or tea. I also realized my lips tremor when I press glass on them to drink or smoke a cuban cigar. All this time I am constantly worried about neurological condition, and scared but with no one to share. Also anxiety is high. I then realized that I have got body wide tremors, not resting but during any kind of action. For example if I reach out to grab something my back and neck would shake most of the time. If I stand in push up position my hands would start shaking immediately and it was not the case years before. So basically, I am tremoring now in my back, arms, legs, trunk and even mouth when I am blowing, smoking cuban or drinking. There are periods where my neck feel so heavy that I hardly manage to keep my head up. I never did not manage, but it feels hard and it would tremor now on some time of slow movement and when I am nervous. At the moment, if I grab something with my fist it tremors, if I lift something even light my arms shake. If I put my leg up and down my leg and back shakes during putting down. I feel like my movement is slower and shakier than it was ever. I feel clumsier. I do not drop thing, I did not have falls or something like that, I just feel like I am moving harder and slower, and I am tremoring. Any action with my muscles contracted is tremor. Cramps in ribs I mentioned happen more often now while showering and turning to wash may back, or while getting scared. Also if I press something with my head, my head shakes.
I will continue in comments.

[Rogolavet]

Continuing question: I felt like a couple of times I slurred but no one noticed that so I cannot say if it is true or I am imagining. I also get these tingling i pinning feeling in both my legs, but not sure if it is from anxiety, because it is familiar every time I am nervous. When I go to gym I am still able to lift same weight, do training, but just it is a lot shakier and with tremors. I can run, I can walk normally, it just all feels clumsier and different. For example, I am much slower on wet surfaces now walking than before. Fine movements just like arranging paperwork make my back shake. If I am lying and try to lift my torso just halfway, not all the way in that position it shakes violently. When I turn my neck to extension point it shakes violently. I see during precise movement that I have tremors I did not years back. I do not have problems with coordination I think. I do not have heat intolerance, I love hot baths and hot weather. I have these tremors, I have what I would describe as lose gait, but then again i can lift, I can work, I can run, I can train, it is just during bending, or samo precise movements. I still have twitching. I still have or feel clumsiness and slower precise movement. I have this slighlty changes vision in left eye still from time to time during night, or when my left side is exposed to sun and right is not, my left eye sees different colors then, but it returns to normal soon. All of this tremoring and twitching is 100 times stronger when I am anxious or nervous, but it is here all the time. For example when I am socially nervous my legs start shaking, and the moment I relax they stop. But for example neck shakes are always there, just sometimes more, sometimes less. I am still very anxious often, health anxiety is strong with me. Also I am fatigued for most of the time when I am not at home. I am not weaker, just tremoring and fatigued. I am always thinking that I am going to get bed ridden this young and that I will become burden to my parent who had and still having tough life and a lot of worries and I do not want to ruin their life more. I am burdened with this for years, thinking about it all the time and as you can see everything is progressing, what scares me is that in the last year it became more than in previous 5. I am so scared to go to neurologist because if they find something my biggest fears for years will become true, but if they do not I won't believe them, because I see I am deteriorating and I am afraid won't be able  to function normally soon.
Please if you have, some comment, advice, idea if this can be anything else beside something which will soon rid me to bed, please help. I have familiar history of thyroid disease and let's say like smaller essential tremor. Nothing else. I had 5 times therapy for helicobacter and gastritis. It always come back.
Sorry once again for long post, hope to hear from you, praying for all of you and your health.