Well, that stinks that the surgery has 'ruined your life'. You had it for your urine stream? Is that better? I hope at least that is better. But now the issue is that you can't get fully erect? I have read that nerve function can take a full year to completely recover after cystoscopy. Has it been a year since the surgery? One thing I've read about with regards to this issue is using a pump. Have you considered that? I read you should use it 2 to 3 times a week to get solid erections to keep any atrophy from occurring. Some people do use viagra after the surgery too. I think you really need to talk to your urologist about your options and express this situation to them. They are used to helping and guiding in these matters. Can you see your doctor?