Please,anyone,need to vent and need a friend right now :(

[Babygurly22]

Hi, so as the title says just need a friend or just to vent. If any of u can relate to even if you dont want to talk to me feel free to leave a comment with ur experience and how ur doing now.so basically my fiance (been with 5yrs n engaged 2yrs)and i got into a huge fight tonight. Ive mever seen him that angry n he actially scared me.it started over something that was stupid and should have never been an argument in the first place and then it went into stuff that i didnt even know he was ever upset about n he started screming at me n smashing his fist on the counter.before i tell you what it was let me say that the past year has been very hard on me,idk about him with some stuff thataffected me bc idk if it did and also part of the prob and why idk if it did affect him is bc he one of those "manly men", no offense guys but one of those who wont tell u when he upset he will keep it in, or atleast most stuff even when u sit there a million times and try n talk to him but he doesnt want to talk.ok so over the past year, he wound up in the hospital due to kidney failure(obviously affected both of us)he was in for 3 months.last april,i drop out if beauty school to be there for him bc they didnt think he was gonna make it,i was supposed to go back in october but i had decided that i wasnt happy doing hair for a living.i would like to become a nail tech and a bartender part time.we also been trying to move in together but between him not working from hospital,me not working when in school, and other stuff we havent been able to.i had been working but some stuff happened etc.i havent been able to find a job for several months and its not like im sitting on my ***,ive applied to hundreds n yes i mean lost count in the hundreds of jobs.ny state isnt a great place to fid a job right now.he always tells me bc i feel bad about it,dont worry about it,i understand its not ur fault etc so i figured obviously hes not mad n understands.as were were arguing he started saying some very hurtful things,i need to grow up n ill learn on my own and that if i want to move in with him i need to prove to him that i can be independent.as i said its not like im sitting on my *** or not trying.if theres no jobs for me then what the hell am i supposed to do,pull a job out of my ***?!?!so that really hurt and also after 5yrs hes telling me i have to prove that to him if i want to move in together when weve been together that long n been trying for a baby over a year,oh and thats another thing thats been upsetting is problems with my ovaries and been trying a year for baby but nothing yet.now weve broken up in the past n he texted me a little while ago saying honestly i think its best i be alone so o tected him back a few times saying that i was sorry n i truly didnt know he was thats upset bc he never said anything and ive tried to talk to him n he never wants to and i would never purposly hurt him or upset him.if i didnt want to be with him i wouldnt atill b here after 5yrs so wtf?!?! I told him also tomorrow im calling the local temp agency again to see if they have anything fir me yet.he never texted me back.the last time we broke up it was a big fight n he said the same thing but we were back together the next day.so idk whats going on right now as he never texted me back after i apologized and everything.but as i said i truly needed to vent n talk to someone :'( im truly hurting right now n been crying for almost 3 hours now n cant stop :'( sorry its so long and i know im orobaly forgetting somethibg but sorry again but thanks for reading.

[blossom500]

Anytime!! :) :)

[Babygurly22]

Thank u so much blossom.

[blossom500]

Don't fear d worst frnd! just chill and wait! give him some time!!! uve spent so much time wid him nd its really REALLY hard 2 part ways. make sure u stay in contact wid him nd just let him noe how much u luv him! any problem u hav, u can always feel free 2 share it wid me!!! All d best!! :) :)

[Babygurly22]

Thanks so much blossom,i really appreciate ut. I feel like such a baby n like everybody thinks just move on but after investing 5yrs of ur life into the same person(most of teen years as im 19 n we met when i was 14)its not that easy and really hurts.he hasnt texted me back yet after apologizing and everything and i keep checking my phone which i think is just worst but i cant help it.i jist hope we dont split permanently,its gonna kill me if we do :'(

[blossom500]

HEY!!

Im really sry abt wt has hppnd wid u! der will b fights and misunderstandings in a relationship. is der any relationship widout fights? and u noe wt? fights bring u closer 2 ur partner. dats wt i believe nd yea i hav experienced it also. just give ur partner some time so dat he can calm down. later tell him dat u r really sry. don't wry he is just angry after he cools down he'll become d same again!!! i hope everythg becomes normal between u and ur partner! God bless u both!!! :) :)