Aa
This is really embarassing!!!
Okay my new husband (tomorrow is our 2 week anniversary) and I have been trying to have intercourse but I'm a very small person and he's a very large person and there are some, ummm, issued with size. Does anyone have any tips or positions on how to make this easier? We use lots of KY but it still hurts like heck. I mean, I usually end up crying and it's just terrible.
OP-baby girl, if this is your first partner, it will be hard at first, esp due to your "size" issues...
and also-if this is ur 1st partner CONGRATS TO U AND UR PARENTS...I think its awesome that people can still wait...i didnt but hey its still good lol....
also, if the size isnt a MAJOR difference, df and i hace one, esp when if anything on my body hurts...i lay on my left side, with left leg under him, and my right leg across his...its like missionary, howver you are on your side, and the leg you have free, actually helps me control just how far df can lean, or how deep he can go...
good luck, and congrats on ur nuptials...
and also-if this is ur 1st partner CONGRATS TO U AND UR PARENTS...I think its awesome that people can still wait...i didnt but hey its still good lol....
also, if the size isnt a MAJOR difference, df and i hace one, esp when if anything on my body hurts...i lay on my left side, with left leg under him, and my right leg across his...its like missionary, howver you are on your side, and the leg you have free, actually helps me control just how far df can lean, or how deep he can go...
good luck, and congrats on ur nuptials...
I wouldn't recommend drugs, either, but have you tried a glass of wine? Although sometimes...for me...wine puts me to sleep, if you stop at the right time, it will relax you.
Have fun~~ What a great problem!
Have fun~~ What a great problem!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Nadine, I'm not so sure she shouldn't try drugs! (LOL, just kidding) I was thinking of relaxation too, because we get to this tense point when it has hurt before and the tension alone is horrible for any kind of enjoyment. (You know how you feel when the doctor is about to insert the speculum.) MrsP, try: reading a really juicy bodice-ripper type of novel; having a glass or two of wine, taking a bath, massage from husband, fun sex toys beforehand, and especially!!! make sure you aren't trying to please him so much that it makes you anxiously rush things for his sake. (That's the one that killed me when we were newlyweds.) It's a two-person game, and he has to learn to play it well too. (((HUGS))) and good luck, Annie
You are not certainly not alone.
When I encountered the same situation with my dh, I thought it would resolve itself quickly (I figures my parts would stretch to accommodate his parts), but it didn't. I spent a lot of time avoiding sex, or gritting my teeth. At first I thought something was wrong with me, but the dr said I was fine. I even asked if I had a bruised cervix, but they said that doesn't happen. It has been over 2 years, and now it is much better, but occasionally there is still pain. Especially in the doggy position. I have also realized that certain times of the month are better than other times, probably due to cervical positioning, so I have decided to work with that.
The other people have already said, relaxing does help. I noticed that when I was on pain killers for a tooth, that the sex was pretty pain free, I think because my body was so relaxed on the drugs. Not that I recommend doing drugs to have better sex.
I hope it works out for you soon, N.
When I encountered the same situation with my dh, I thought it would resolve itself quickly (I figures my parts would stretch to accommodate his parts), but it didn't. I spent a lot of time avoiding sex, or gritting my teeth. At first I thought something was wrong with me, but the dr said I was fine. I even asked if I had a bruised cervix, but they said that doesn't happen. It has been over 2 years, and now it is much better, but occasionally there is still pain. Especially in the doggy position. I have also realized that certain times of the month are better than other times, probably due to cervical positioning, so I have decided to work with that.
The other people have already said, relaxing does help. I noticed that when I was on pain killers for a tooth, that the sex was pretty pain free, I think because my body was so relaxed on the drugs. Not that I recommend doing drugs to have better sex.
I hope it works out for you soon, N.
i had the same problem for the longest time, i didn't think i would ever enjoy sex! Going slow with the guy on top does seem to be the best 'starting position' for us.. and yes, lots of lube. Also if he uses his fingers first, that seems to loosen things up a little bit for the main item. foreplay makes all the difference, plus it brings you closer to the big 'O', for when you have sex. I was very small compared to my boyfriend, but finally we can make it work.. it takes some time, or at least it did for me, but it is way more enjoyable now. good luck and congrats!
CONGRATS ON THE MARRAIGE!!!
As for the other thing, yes, it is good to have it this way instead of the other way around.. Um, yes lots of ky, and also lots of fore-play, the more revved up you are, the more relaxed you become, so that makes it easier too. Also, give it time, you'll get used to it ;)
As for the other thing, yes, it is good to have it this way instead of the other way around.. Um, yes lots of ky, and also lots of fore-play, the more revved up you are, the more relaxed you become, so that makes it easier too. Also, give it time, you'll get used to it ;)
Yeah, we decided it could be the other way around. If we have to have a problem this is the way it should be! LOL
It will hurt for a while. The KY is good. I think missionary is the best position, too. I had a similar issue and found that getting on top was NOT the best idea. When you are on top, penetration is even deeper. Just ask him very kindly to be gentle, careful, and patient. This is very normal, and I promise once you get passed it, it will be amazing. :o)
AND Congratulations on your marriage!
AND Congratulations on your marriage!
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