Aa
Well I got about 4 hrs sleep last night,better than nothing,woke up with a headache and feeling worse than ever,I don't know whether It's the depression or having to open up my whole life to a counsellor or that I'm just craving alcohol and codeine again It seems it would be easier to grab the bottle or take a pill,I know I can't that would be starting back at square one again.I feel like my chest and stomach are churning.Has anyone else felt so bad when you think your on the right track,this is day 49 clean.
Big Hugs Denise
Big Hugs Denise
The darkness is hanging over me,It's like a feeling of doom.I sit here and wonder why do I have to change.Who will I be when I've changed,will I still be me.I feel different already.I feel I'm losing my identity,it may not have been a good identity but it was mine.Now I'm becoming a person I don't know.The alcohol, codeine, and sexual abuse made me who I am, now thats gone who am I.I feel in limbo not knowing whether to go back to what I felt was "safe"or keep moving forward.I'm scared.Talk is easy-the doing feels like It's killing me from the inside.I hope I feel more positive tomorrow.This is the worst I've felt in weeks.Counselling brings up too many emotions and painful memories,I know I have to deal with them,BUT CAN I.The alcohol and codeine was much easier to deal with
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