Mental Problems/Guess I lost it

[innerchild09]

As some of you know I have not been doing good at all. I know I wrote a lot about the things going on and how stressed out and depressed I have been feeling. Things were falling apart and everything was lousy. Well everything just seemed to pile up on me and I lost it. I know maybe you were expecting a ton of details why I have been absent and what happened while I was gone and all this. Sorry to disapoint you but I dont know. My memory well it was always bad but it got really bad. Im not even sure why I left. I guess I got lost in my own world maybe. I dont know. I wish I had the answers. Im not even sure how I made it through all that. I guess I did or well then I wouldnt be here at all. Im still not well. I space out a lot. Feel like Im in and out of it. Feels like Im not all here. I know this sounds crazy. It really does. This is another really hard thing for me to talk about. I guess this really makes me feel I am crazy. Like how could I forget what I did and stuff. Did I just lose it? I dont know. Stuff like this happened before but I think this was like the worst. I call it zoning out. I dont know. So I dont have an answer. I dont know what I was doing for most of it. I remember some of it breifly but just not much of it. Like I said I was out of it. I have no explimation. Oh and I know the 1st thing people are going to say, see a shrink. Yeah I know I need one. I needed one then too. I dont have one. I dont have insurance. I cant afford to see another doctor. Its to expencive. Aughhhh. When it rains it pours and thunders and lightnings. Still I am doing better then i was or I probably still wouldnt be able to be here. But I am here right now. I wanted to be then too but I couldnt. Wasnt functioning. Maybe I forgot how to come here too. Not sure. Like I said wasnt myself. So really I just wrote this to update everyone and hoping for a bit of support. Im still stuck in a situation where Im in the house all the time. And I dont go out. Maybe it didnt matter. Id probably forget most of it anyway. Seems like I forgot it all anyway. My memory is awful. My mental health is awful. Everything really ***** right now. Things got to hard. to bad. to much, So I guess I just lost it. Thanks for listening.

[amylove21]

I am so sorry this happened to you. That sounds really scary. It might be depression related but I don't know for sure. I'm not a doctor. Thats not good about having no insurance. It's terrible when you can't get the help when you need it. Thank you for the update. I hope to see you around more. Sometimes I have memory issues but I don't think I have had anything is bad as what you described. Sounds pretty bad. Not sure how much you are forgetting but by the way you described it sounds like a lot. Not sure what to think about this being in your own world thing. I really don't know. Still you asked for support and that I can give to you. So if you need to keep posting or just want to remember I'm here. I know it's been awhile. Still if you're not up to it then it's ok. You have been away from medhelp for awhile. For a sec I actially thought maybe you got a different screen name of something lol. I know you said you would if things didn't go well with what you said and stuff. Still I thought it went well because there were responces from us and I think other people benifitted from the things you talked about. In my oppinion. So I guessed that probably wasn't it. Now I know why. So I hope that you are over what caused you to have really bad problems. Hope that you are doing ok now. Hope that you are doing better.

[innerchild09]

Hey yeah long time no see. And yeah it was all because of my mental health. lol No I didnt get a new name. I think this one is working out just find. I know I did say that but I only ment if people thought bad about me. Still no one did, I was the one who was self causios. Everyone else seemed fine with me I guess. If not they probably would have left because we were all involved in a lot of conversations between the 3 of us. So I guess it worked out anyway. I made the group for people with mental problems of any kind to get support and even people who just know someone who has them and they need support too. Also its a good way to get to know people. I know more people post here now. Who knows if I hadnt left we might have still had that going as well. But thats ok. I mean if others have a friend and a 1 on 1 conversation starts here its fine because they are getting support with their mental health and they made a friend. Plus I think its ok if one is going on other people want to jump in too. So like I said its all good.

As for my mental health well I think Im ok but not sure. I still get spacy sometimes but I havent actually went to outerspace. I must have then though or to lala land or the land of I forgot. So I still am having memory problemes but I am managing. I am doing better but still things are pretty crummy. Im sure Ill have a lot more to vent about if no one minds. Not right now though. I will stick to this for now.

So if you want to talk here how are you doing Amylove? Anything going on in your life?

As for other people you can come in too. You dont have to feel excluded. The more people the marrier. It would be nice if others had something to say as well.
So anyway hope everyone is having a good day or night. Whichever it is now. or when you read this post. Take care.

[amylove21]

Oh ok. That makes sense. I think that it's pretty good here too. Seems like a lot of people post here. So I hope that you are back to your normal self soon. Must be hard to feel like you do.

For me well a lot. Short version, I still go out a lot and do things with friends. Family can still be up and down. My friends some things are great. Sometimes things happen and stuff. I was sick a few times so I worried about all that. I have been recentally going out partying which may not be a good thing but I have been a little reckless lately. Also sometimes I just do it just to get out. Maybe I got a bit overboard. I don't know. Things are just crazy sometimes. Well today I had to run to the bank because I couldnt figure out what happened to my money. Turns out it was a small mistake on my part. Now Im mad because I messed up and now I don't have any money. Then I was planning on coming right home and getting on the computer but my friend called while I was on my way hoime and asked if I wanted to come over and I hadnt for awhile so I did. I had a pretty good time over there with her. So now I am just home relaxing. So maybe later Ill talk more about things but like I said that is the short version anyway.

[innerchild09]

Sounds like a lot. So anyway yeah the whole bank thing sounds stressful. Still I am glad that you got to hang out with your friend and stuff. Thats good. Partying yeah sounds like you have it pretty busy. For me I still am stuck inside so I dont go anywhere. I stay at home all the time pretty much, Surrounded by the same 4 walls. Its pretty depressing. Just want to escape sometimes. I want to be free. I dont have friends still. At least not in real life. I dont think anyone would like me anyway to be honest. Seems like people turn away from me. Plus I dont want to drag anyone into my weirdness. I dont know. So yeah nothing has really changed much. Some things have but a lot of it hasnt. Of course my mental health getting worse that changed. Blah. Its hard. Sorry that you were sick and stuff. Its actually weird I dont remember getting sick this winter. Usally I do but I guess maybe because I was inside all the time. Maybe.

So I am actually about to get offline now. Not sure what Ill do. Maybe watch some tv. I didnt sleep good so I might try to get some sleep soon. if I cant sleep I might be back on later maybe. Hope that you have a great night. Talk soon.

Also take all who are reading this. Remember other responces are ok too. Thank you.

[amylove21]

Oh man. I am so sorry that you are still stuck in that situation after all this time. Thats probably why your mental health got so bad in the first place. Being stuck in the house all the time. I would lose it. I am so sorry that you are still stuck there. Gosh thats awful. I know you were stuck in the house still the last time we talked before you disapeared. I thought maybe things had changed since then. Man. I feel really bad for you. I don't know what I would do if it were me. Sounds like a lot of stress. I'm sure you need to get out of the house. It' bad that you havent got to go out much still. I mean that is a really long time.

I am glad that you didn't get sick. Thats good. Still after that I can't blame you for being down. I don't think home is ment to be something that becomes a prison. That's probably why you got worse. I really hope that changes for you soon. No one should have to be trapped in a house all the time.

Oh ok enjoy your tv and stuff. Hope you sleep good. Have a good night too.

[TheLightSeeker]

Hey innerchild09.

You're back and you're here, and that's the main thing.
  With my own health issues far well behind me,
  -feels like all this happened in another lifetime- my continued commitment to give back
  advice and support, gives me a lot of gratification.
  I have 2  very close relatives with serious mental health challenges,
  and this alone makes me, somehow, feel a stronger connection to
  anyone that comes across my life's path, with similar issues.
  Is this God's voice telling me about one of my purposes, in this life?
  In my 20's a had a near death experience, and this experience truly transformed me.
  It brought the best out of me, helped me connect with my spirit, and I never looked back.
  There are lessons to be learnt and purposes to be fulfilled.
  Of course we are all given free will, to act the way we like.
  For some of us, our souls have "chosen" hard lives, in order to learn more valuable
  lessons. For some others,  the souls have chosen lives with higher purposes.
  
  Find the meaning and purpose in your suffering, and that will release your spirit.
  And you do have a great spirit. We all do. Then, by fully connecting to your spirit,
  you will be able to go to all those "blissful" places, where the light shines all the time.

  I'll finish my post with giving you a link to my friend's Justin Hines song "Courage"
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwoUM8ETFfk.
   I hope you will find it as inspiring as I did. (If I did give to you already in the past
   forgive me for forgetting, but listen to it again, if you wish.)

  Should you feel the need for some guidance or just some words of encouragement, at
  any time, please do not hesitate to ask me.  And this extends to anybody reading this.
   Blessings to all,
   Nikodicreta            
  
  
  

[innerchild09]

Amylove, Yes it is really hard for me to be stuck in the house. Trapped in my walls. Plus mom is unwell agian. So now I have that drama. Honestly I dont know how soon I will lose it this time but if things continue who knows. I hate this. Why does all this have to happen to me. Everything falling apart. I dont want to lose it agian. If I do I might disapear agian and I dont want that. I dont want to be out of it agian. Still now that I am here not talking about the site but being here mentally what keeps me here? I dont know. Anyway I hope that you had a good night as well. I actually slept pretty good which I needed. Mom took a nap and came out in a bad mood. Augh yeah it figures.

Nikodicreta, Thank you for commenting. Also that you said Im back and thats the important thing. I just hope it lasts. Im worried that with my constant stress I will be sent back into the mind state I was in before. I hope that doesnt happen. Thats really great that your health issues are doing better. I am so happy for you,. Im glad that you can help other people out and stuff. Also that you found spirituality and things that help you and improve your life and its meaning. I will check out that video later if I can get it to work and stuff. Anyway I hope to hear from you agian sometime soon. You seem like you really care.

and finally Everyone, anyone who reads this or responds. I am really worried of losing it. So I just want people to know if I do another disapear it wasnt because I want to. So at least now you will know why. I am hoping my sanity will stick with me this time and I dont lose it agian. Just in case I wanted everyone to know that I didnt choose to leave it just happened. And I hope I will be ok from now on. Still I do worry something could happen and I might be gone agian. So in case I think everyone here who joined expecially those who wondered about me deserve to know why I was gone.

Amylove, Nikodicreta, and everyone who reads have a great day/night. Take care for now.

[amylove21]

I hope that you are doing better now. Must have been hard to not do well mentally. I know I've pulled disapears but mostly because I was busy with something. So stuff like that. I hope that you are ok and don't have anymore incodents where you lose it and everything. Maybe you'll be fine now. I hope so. It's not good that you couldn't get help when you needed it. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have insurance. It would be really hard for me. So it must be really hard expecially when you were doing worse.

I know I did wonder about you and stuff. So I'm glad that you were able to finally let everyone know. I still hope to see you around and stuff. Thought I would continue posting here too like we used to if you want to as well. If not then I won't as much. Just thought it might help to have someone you used to talk to her still talk. Plus I liked when we talked here too. Still I am ok with other people joining in too. Who knows maybe we would get to meet more people and make more friends. I think that would be nice. I mean I know I have a huge social life but sometimes i feel I can connect better here on the computer. I guess most of my friends just don't really understand what it's like. They are great to be around when I'm fun and stuff and I just need to get out. Maybe running around a lot is how I cope with things. I know it's all good when I'm happy life of the party. When I'm down and sad and stuff it's like things are different. Yet here it's not. People don't mind when I talk here or if I talk to much or if I whine about things and stuff. Here it's like I am free to do it. Maybe that's why I like this group so much. I mean you let me whine. You didn't mind. In fact I think you encourage people to talk and that here no judging will occure. At least by you it won't and not by me and maybe everyone else who comes in here too. So I do like coming in here. I don't always know answers to everything so sometimes I don't answer. I guess maybe it's the same with most people. So anyway maybe I should be a bit more shy because I know I am rambling and I'm sure it sounds silly. Yet I am doing it. I don't know what people think of us when we talk and stuff here. When we share our stories. We did in the past. I guess people must have been ok with it or everyone would have left. Here I am doing it agian. Rambling. lol. So I am going to stop for now and later come back see if you or someone else respondes.

[innerchild09]

I dont think you whine. Its nice that you still talk here to me. Anyway Im doing pretty crummy right now. Life ***** I dont think its going to get better, I dont know why anyone would want to talk to me anyway. Theres nothing good about me. Ill try to come up with a decent responce later but right now I just cant. I dont feel like Im worth anything and neither is what i say. Sorry your stuck wasting your time on me. I dont deserve anyone.

[amylove21]

Hey I'm sorry that you are having a really hard time right now. You're really nice and you are smart. I like talking to you. Plus you care about what other people feel and think. You don't judge. You don't try to force your oppinions on others. You are really friendly. We always have things to talk about I think. So I'm not wasting my time talking to you. You deserve people too. Maybe people didn't always treat you right so now you think you deserved that. I don't know but sounds like a lot of bad things happened from your previous posts you made. And even now.

Don't worry about responding to my post I made. No rush. You are down and you needed to vent more then responding to my post. So it's ok. You can do it later or not at all if you are not up to it. At least you read it and even though you can't respond I know that you care about what I said. So it's fine. Hope that you feel better soon.

[TheLightSeeker]

Hey innerchild09.
Rule #1. Do not believe everything you think. (There're are better things in store for you!)
Rule #2. What you think of yourself, is what you think of the world.( This is the one time when being wrong, could be actually good for you!)
  

The great news is that there are dozens of members who are reading or will read this post.
We all truly want you to feel better.

So let's give it a go!
  I will ask all of us to close our eyes for a moment- myself included- (after reading this post a couple times), and imagine this ray of brilliant white light  from up above, through our crown, on top of our heads, and entering our body.
And as this bright warm light, starts filling our body and flowing through our arms and into our hands, we start thinking about you and all your hurt. From the bottom of their hearts, we want to help you. We all want to help you because we're all one.
And with this intention, as we feel this warm and healing light in the fingers of our hands, we are now letting it flow out through the tips of our fingers. We are  sending it towards you, always feeling its warmth , as it's now leaving our body and travelling toward you.
It is travelling across water and land with the speed of light, because IT IS light!
Bright, warm , Healing light. We all see this light now entering your place, filling all the space around with its glow and its brilliance. You are surrounded by it, and soon you are feeling its warmth, as it's touching you. And finally it is entering your body from every direction and every angle. What a feeling! You are enjoying this warm feeling greatly.
Soon your body is experiencing for the first time ever, this shower of Healing Energy!
All your cells, trillions of them, are soaking up this warmth, awakening to this newfound
Source of Universal Life Force.  You know now that you are not alone.
You are connected to all of us and we are connected to you. One big family.
There's nothing that can change this. You have touched our hearts, and now with our intention alone, we are able to send you peace, love and healing.
There's no judgement, no conditions. Just pure and simple caring for one another.

Thank you for all for participating.
God bless you.
Nikodicreta

    
    

[innerchild09]

Amylove, thank you for caring about how I am feeling and that you still want to stick by me even though I am a mess right now mentally. Even though I honestly dont know if I will stay well enough. I am scared I could be gone agian. I know it could happen and I dont want to hurt anyone if I am gone agian. And I dont want anyone to think I simply dont care because I do care about this group, the people here, their posts, and this site. So I hope I will remain.

I am overdue to give you a better responce. Im feeling up to it now. Sounds like its really difficult that you feel like you cant talk to all your friends how you can talk here. And that people dont understand the other side of you. The side that needs support. Then side that is depressed or angry or loney whatever you feel. You cant be a party girl all the time. Friends who only like a part of you arent good friends in my oppinion. I dont have any friends in real life. It ***** but I know that I dont have any pretending either. I hope you have some good friends who accept you as you are. You deserve that.

Also you dont whine like I said earlier. I want you to come here and feel you can get some support. Thats the whole idea. So rant,vent, talk as much as you need. Post long posts yes its fine. Us talking and people joining in are ok. Its fine.

Yeah it could be how you cope. Some people cope different. I think your right. You probably use these friends to make you happy or to get your mind off the bad things in your life. Maybe. And the running around could be to keep you distracted from the way things are going.

Hope to hear from you soon. Im doing better. A bit spacy but other then that fine.

[innerchild09]

Nikodiceta, your responce really touched me. It was very nice and supporting. You seem like someone who really cares about other people. Its hard to feel happy about myself. I always pick out the bad things I guess. I know its not healthy but I do. Its a struggle. So its nice to hear that people dont think I am those negative things at least here they dont. And its nice to have people care. I guess Im still not used to people wanting to lift me up. So used to people dragging me down or someone lifts me up sometimes but othertimes pulls me down depending on their mood. Something like that you know.

I dont know how everyone feels. I am happy that people want to post here and stuff and that they joined but I dont know what they think of me. I dont expect an answer and thats ok. Still I guess old thoughts of wondering if everyone here thinks Im lame or something. I know when I 1st came I expected that not many people would join or if they did join a whole bunch of them would run out heading for the exit because of all the things I wrote about. I really thought that. And sometimes I worry that now I am back people will be annoyed with me and want to leave. I should know by now they dont want to leave or they would have but I guess I just keep expecting that to happen. I know the group has grown a lot while I was gone. Makes me wonder what people thought about a group running without a founder watching over it. Or maybe a lot of people didnt even realize who started the group anyway. I dont know.

I guess you believe that everyone here wants me well and knows about me and wants me to be happy and that they all care. I hope your right. Maybe you are. I guess sometimes its hard to believe that I actually did something right. I had a lot of doubts when I 1st did this back in 2009. I wondered if making this group was a mistake and the posting I did. Worried about that being a mistake. So I never thought my words were important or helped anyone or anything good about it. So it surprises me when someone says its great what all I said or something.

Anyway just thank you for the positive healing thoughts and just the words of encouragement that you posted. And for being another person who does care about me and what I write. Im glad you posted. Hope to hear more posts from you. Also I hope that you are having a good day or night.

[amylove21]

I'm glad that you are doing better now. Maybe they are'nt always good friends. Sometimes they can be but no they don't really accept all of me. What you say makes perfect sense and stuff. I do go out a lot. Maybe without these people my life would feel so empty and boring. So I just go with it. I know I need to cut back on these outings at least the ones that cost money. I have been spending it foolishly. So I do need to cut back. Still I know a big part of my life involves running around. I had to borrow money from my parents so I could put some gas in the car so I could go over to one of my friends house. It's like I just don't want to stay home. I actually did go through a period where I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Just didn't want to. It has passed obviously or I wouldn't be gone all the time. So that's what is going on. I'm actually doing good right now. Hope that you are too. Talk to you soon.

[innerchild09]

Glad to hear that you are doing well right now. Im glad that you do actually get to run around a lot. I think its good to get out. I wouldnt know, but yeah. Still sounds like your always keeping busy. And I do hope that you do have people who are supportive and who will accept the depressed side of you too. I mean the whole thing is you weather your happy or not. So hope people will accept you as you are. I dont really have a lot to say right now. Just wanted to respond and let you know Im listening. Take care.

[TheLightSeeker]

Hi everyone.

Nice to see you supporting one another. It's very important.
Just a bit off topic here. My daughter, who happens to be 23 as well,  has battled
multiple issues, and managed to actually overcome them ( to a degree). Another long story,but with a happy ending!
It's like a miracle, to see her so interested in life again!

She's presently studying Holistic Health with a big emphasis on Energy, Soul and Spirit.
Now she's looking for a domain name for a blog and website that she'll be putting together
soon.  Some of her services will probably  include past life regression therapy, future life progression therapy, chakra and crystal healing, Reiki, soul coaching.
Geez , I wonder who she's taking after?
Most likely, distance healing through skype, would be available.

She's looking for a short and catchy name possibly including the words: spirit, awakening,
soul, purpose, love, light, healing, life, earth, magical, inner, wisdom, circle, heart, bliss etc
   Any suggestions?  Please feel free to post your suggestions and ideas.

    By the way, I have no intention to advertise or promote any services (for myself or my daughter).  It is not appropriate at all, to do so, here. I just wanted to clarify this.
It is not what we are about, however, if someone needs some advice, in the area of holistic healing, I will be more than glad to help.

One tip for anyone that can relate to it: There's a dark place in a very low point of our life that we may reach, (for the one's that are battling serious issues in their lives) that I call the Ultimate Crisis  Point. There's a spark in that place- not to be overlooked - as this spark can ignite a fire within us, to truly turn our life around.
Despite all the suffering and pain.
Perhaps this has to do with the deeper meaning of illness and devastation.
I'm talking from my personal experience and  being witness to other peoples' similar experiences as well!  
Does anyone have anything like this happen in their lives (or friends,or relatives)?

  Take care, and thanks for taking the time to visit here.
Blessings to all,
Nikodicreta

  

[innerchild09]

I agree supporting is a good thing. And thats what we do. Or attempt anyway.

As for your daughter Im glad that she is interested in life agian. Its awful to live life when you have no interest anymore. So Im glad she has that back. Its ok you needed to post a bit about your daughter. I dont have any ideas for names at this time. If I come up with any I will let you know.

I apriecate the not advertising this stuff here. Plus theres not a whole lot of people who would see it anyway, but Im glad thats not your intensions.

As for your question not sure. I feel like Im in a dark place right now in my life. It has definitly not turned around. Seems like it only keeps getting worse to be honest. I want it to end but seems everything continues to fall on top of me. So Im in the dark but nothing being turned around. I dont know if this is as dark as it can go. Probably not. Im sure there are plenty of more bad things that could happen to me or in my life.

Im glad theres people like you who can inspire people who dont feel like they have anything to live for. You try to give people hope. Maybe Im stubborn to think things wont get better. I dont know. Im just glad there are people around who have been through stuff but are recovering and doing better and then not only that, they choose to help others. And that makes me glad. So thanks for responding and have a very good day.

[amylove21]

Uugh woke up because I had an anxiety attack. So thought I would check to see if anyone posted so here I am. I might sleep in today since I haven't been able to get back to sleep since my anxiety woke me up. Hope you are doing ok.

I think it's good that we have support too. I think things haven't been the same when innerchild was away from the group. I know that I haven't really posted as much back then. I came sometimes and supported but now we are both supporting each other agian and I'm glad for it.

As for you Nikodica I think that's really great about your daughter and stuff. As for names I think all those names you have there are good. Maybe put two of them together could make a really neat name. I think. I'm sure you'll come up with something or she will.

As for the other thing I don't think anything like that has happened to me or to my family or anything that I know of.

[amylove21]

Oh innerchild09 I forgot to say I like your new welcome post for new members. I think it's very inviting and friendly. I see it's sticky too so I guess it will be up there for a bit. I think it's really neat. Just wanted to tell you that.

[innerchild09]

Sorry that you had anxiety and it woke you up. I know how that is. I get anxiety a lot too. Its hard to deal with that. I hope you were able to get back to sleep. Im doing ok right now. So Im in a pretty ok mood.

Really? You think things werent the same without me? I dont see why.

Aww thanks for saying that. I wasnt sure if it was ok or not. I am glad that you think my new welcome thing is ok. And it will up there for a long time til I take it down or something or do a new one in the future.

[TheLightSeeker]

Hey everyone.
Here's some good news ( for the ones that like biochemical and molecular science)
that may explain some of your issues.
    
             Anxiety, depression...  and JNK gene connection.
( When this gene-we all have it - stays activated for prolonged time -see list of activating factors paragraph #1 below) then this results in any of the conditions in paragragh #2.

          1.     JNK Activators
Amphetamines (Includes ADHD medications and the street drug speed)
Antibiotics, Antibiotics in food, Antidepressants
Cigarettes and tobacco products (they contain heavy metals and other toxins)
Cocaine, cooking oils other than mct oils like coconut oil
Heavy metals , such as lead, mercury, nickel.
Herbicides, Hormones in  food,
Inflammation, Insomnia (chronic), Methamphetamines
Opiates (Includes pain pills and common street drugs)
Over stimulated immune system.
Pesticides, Preservatives in our food
Refined sugars.
Starvation , Stress ,Toxins, Viruses.


     2.  JNK Activated Conditions

Alzheimer’s, Anxiety, Arthritis, Autism, Bipolar
Breast cancer and Cancer of all types, Depression, Diabetes, Dementia,
Fibromyalgia, Herpes, Insomnia, Intestinal imbalance,
Neurons die ,Neurotransmitters no longer function properly.
Obesity, Parkinson’s, Polio, Psychosis, Schizophrenia
Skin cancer,Weight gain.

Wow! There's a simple way to keep this gene under control so it does not get over-activated, despite some factors that people may not be able to fully control from the  list
above (JNK activators).
Please let me know if you are interested to have this information.

Also it may be important to discuss this with your doctor. Many doctors trained before
2003 may not be familiar with this research. Unfortunately a lot of the education on newer research comes from the pharmaceutical reps and their companies. The therapy  to control
this gene expression is all natural, so no possibility to patent any drugs. Therefore pharmaceuticals have no interest in this area.  

Let me know if you have any questions.
Blessings to all,
Nikodicreta








                

[innerchild09]

Thanks for the info. So far I dont have any questions. If I have some later I will let you know. As for talking to a doctor well I dont have one right now. So I dont know how that will work out. Anyway mood update Im actually doing ok so far. I didnt come on here yesterday except like early in the day I did. Stuff going on. Anyway I guess thats all I need to say at this time. Have a good day.

[amylove21]

Hello everyone. That's some interesting information. Never thought of that. I'm not having anxiety right now though and I am glad.

And yes I do think things were different. It was still good. I came here a lot anyway but yeah it was different. Posts were made sometimes but now it's like we are talking back and forth and I like this. Also you're really nice and stuff and you don't judge people or step on other peoples ideas. You are very careful when it comes to other peoples oppinions.

Well the weekend is harder to not go out and do things. I planned to stay in but I got bored so I decided to go out to a club with my friends. I had a great time. So it was good but once agian I let myself choose to go out and party and stuff then just be myself. I guess I have to please others. Plus I go out and stuff. It's like I'm that girl who has to go out and do things. Except when I'm super low then I just want to sit around and not do anything at all. The rest of the time I want to be out and do things with my friends. Weather they are real friends or not. Sometimes I think they are. Othertimes I question it. So that's what is going on with me lately.

[amylove21]

Hey agian. It's me. Think I will try to stay in today. I need some time to catch up on things being home. I'm always busy. So today I thought I would try to at least have a run around all day free day. Plus I have stuff to do at home that I never get done. Lately I have been out all the time. I really hope I can have an ok day without having to run around, I don't want to end up feeling depressed. I don't know. Just thought I would update. So I am actually about to eat in a bit. So hope everyone is doing well. Might update later.