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two themes over and over in my dreams
I find the dream state so fascinating. I have two recurring themes in my dreams and thought I'd see what anyone thougt of them.
First is the one that isn't fun. My mother died at age 52 very unexpectedly from a hernia surgery that went wrong. It was horrifying. It was like my worst nightmare (??speaking of dreaming) come true. It felt like it happened in slow motion but took about 3 days total with only the last 30 hours of awareness on my part as to what was really happening. She died of sepsis---- which is very ugly and does not smell nice and she had a few lucid moments while on life support as her organs were failing---- you get the picture. Very painful for me and took literally years to get over. I'm now 44 and it is has been 15 years since this happened. To this day I have very unpleasant dreams in which I have this phone number that I call and it is my mother's as I've found out she is not dead but hiding from me . . . she is not thrilled to hear from me and is very sickly and dying again. With variations to that theme---- I dream this over and over again. Why---- what do you think my subconscious is trying to work out? I'd love to have pleasant happy dreams where I see her as the beautiful mom she was. But she is always upset with me and time is fleeting . . .
The second reoccuring dream is much more pleasurable . . . it always has a man in it. all different men of all types. Some good looking, some not so much. Some I know some I don't. But the thing that is common in them is that they are always completely head over heels in love with me and very tender in showing it. Now I love this dream and I never have dreams where the man isn't like this. Men haven't always been kind to me . . . so it is so interesting that weekly, I dream about these super loving and sweeeeeeeeet men . . . Again, why do you think that is on my mind so much?
First is the one that isn't fun. My mother died at age 52 very unexpectedly from a hernia surgery that went wrong. It was horrifying. It was like my worst nightmare (??speaking of dreaming) come true. It felt like it happened in slow motion but took about 3 days total with only the last 30 hours of awareness on my part as to what was really happening. She died of sepsis---- which is very ugly and does not smell nice and she had a few lucid moments while on life support as her organs were failing---- you get the picture. Very painful for me and took literally years to get over. I'm now 44 and it is has been 15 years since this happened. To this day I have very unpleasant dreams in which I have this phone number that I call and it is my mother's as I've found out she is not dead but hiding from me . . . she is not thrilled to hear from me and is very sickly and dying again. With variations to that theme---- I dream this over and over again. Why---- what do you think my subconscious is trying to work out? I'd love to have pleasant happy dreams where I see her as the beautiful mom she was. But she is always upset with me and time is fleeting . . .
The second reoccuring dream is much more pleasurable . . . it always has a man in it. all different men of all types. Some good looking, some not so much. Some I know some I don't. But the thing that is common in them is that they are always completely head over heels in love with me and very tender in showing it. Now I love this dream and I never have dreams where the man isn't like this. Men haven't always been kind to me . . . so it is so interesting that weekly, I dream about these super loving and sweeeeeeeeet men . . . Again, why do you think that is on my mind so much?
I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate your insight. I've struggled for years with my emotions surrounding my mother's death---- and I think the wisdom you've shared makes perfect sense. I'm hoping to some day not be haunted-- as I feel at times I am--- maybe this will help me a bit. So, I thank you from the bottom of my heart---- this was very meaningful to me.
In dream analysis, hiding can have a sinister, secretive meaning. The other meaning, which I think applies to this dream, is that hiding signifies protection.
Since it was your mother who was hiding from you, it might mean that in this dream
your mother is the Protector... which would make sense because, after all, that's what
a mother is, or is supposed to be. But what is she protecting you from? ... not her physical self; nor the medical condition... I think that she's shielding you from the painful emotional trauma of watching her die.
Since it was your mother who was hiding from you, it might mean that in this dream
your mother is the Protector... which would make sense because, after all, that's what
a mother is, or is supposed to be. But what is she protecting you from? ... not her physical self; nor the medical condition... I think that she's shielding you from the painful emotional trauma of watching her die.
Oh boy, this should be your job!! Thank you for your response.
So interesting in your thoughts about the dreams with my mother. I may be guilty of always wondering what role I played in her death. Sepsis is time dependent in outcome. The earlier it is caught, the better the outcome. I misread things----- oh my gosh------ OVER THE PHONE!! Oh boy, that just occured to me that I talked to my mom post surger over the phone and she sounded terrible and I thought something was wrong but my sister was with her. I was to see her on the weekend but by the weekend she was dying. I guess I've always wondered if I should have been there with her. Oh, that is almost too painful to think about. Maybe it is so painful (as I've just had a good cry)---- that I don't think about that consciously yet the thought is there. I went through a period of "shock" after her death. I was either completely numb or hysterical. Mostly, I was numb. I was just so close to her and loved her so dearly. That is why it feels so cruel to see her in dreams as angry with me. I know she never would be---- and she was such a loving mom. Those dreams are so painful on many levels. Why do you think in my dream she is hiding from me?
And the other dream scenario is also interesting. Those dreams do bring me great comfort and peace. I am the great caretaker at home with my two kids and husband. Perhaps I long to be taken care of . . .
So interesting in your thoughts about the dreams with my mother. I may be guilty of always wondering what role I played in her death. Sepsis is time dependent in outcome. The earlier it is caught, the better the outcome. I misread things----- oh my gosh------ OVER THE PHONE!! Oh boy, that just occured to me that I talked to my mom post surger over the phone and she sounded terrible and I thought something was wrong but my sister was with her. I was to see her on the weekend but by the weekend she was dying. I guess I've always wondered if I should have been there with her. Oh, that is almost too painful to think about. Maybe it is so painful (as I've just had a good cry)---- that I don't think about that consciously yet the thought is there. I went through a period of "shock" after her death. I was either completely numb or hysterical. Mostly, I was numb. I was just so close to her and loved her so dearly. That is why it feels so cruel to see her in dreams as angry with me. I know she never would be---- and she was such a loving mom. Those dreams are so painful on many levels. Why do you think in my dream she is hiding from me?
And the other dream scenario is also interesting. Those dreams do bring me great comfort and peace. I am the great caretaker at home with my two kids and husband. Perhaps I long to be taken care of . . .
Sorry about your mother's tragic passing.
In our waking state, we can process and come to grips with painful memories of past experiences. We can learn to overcome loss, grief and life's disappointments. But, sometimes... we can't. Somethings in life aren't so easy to get over. And, over time, we develop stress... stress that we may not even be aware of. And, that's usually when we have anxiety dreams... dreams that address our innermost fears, uncertainties and insecurities... dreams that because of their abstract nature tend to manifest themselves as exaggerations... but, dreams that serve as necessary "vents" for our inner struggles.
In the dream about your mother, you describe communication by phone... obviously, this addresses the physical distance that exists... but, symbolically, the phone would signify a connection... an emotional connection, I think. Some Freudians might say such a connection is a metaphorical umbilical cord signifying the bond between mother and child.
The "disappointment" that you described is interesting... but, I think that the sense of "disappointment" is really your own. It could be your own perception of how "you" think your mother must have felt. And, that the disappointment should be directed at you might suggest that, maybe... you're upset with yourself?
In the other dream, I think that the men are the embodiment of the universal, quintessential man... perhaps, the ideal man... in your mind, is a loving and sweet gentleman despite physical attributes. That you should have this as a recurring dream could be a needed reaffirmation of that which brings you a sense comfort, joy, security and acceptance.
In our waking state, we can process and come to grips with painful memories of past experiences. We can learn to overcome loss, grief and life's disappointments. But, sometimes... we can't. Somethings in life aren't so easy to get over. And, over time, we develop stress... stress that we may not even be aware of. And, that's usually when we have anxiety dreams... dreams that address our innermost fears, uncertainties and insecurities... dreams that because of their abstract nature tend to manifest themselves as exaggerations... but, dreams that serve as necessary "vents" for our inner struggles.
In the dream about your mother, you describe communication by phone... obviously, this addresses the physical distance that exists... but, symbolically, the phone would signify a connection... an emotional connection, I think. Some Freudians might say such a connection is a metaphorical umbilical cord signifying the bond between mother and child.
The "disappointment" that you described is interesting... but, I think that the sense of "disappointment" is really your own. It could be your own perception of how "you" think your mother must have felt. And, that the disappointment should be directed at you might suggest that, maybe... you're upset with yourself?
In the other dream, I think that the men are the embodiment of the universal, quintessential man... perhaps, the ideal man... in your mind, is a loving and sweet gentleman despite physical attributes. That you should have this as a recurring dream could be a needed reaffirmation of that which brings you a sense comfort, joy, security and acceptance.
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