25 years old abused emotionally by mother

[Aqua29]

Hi i'm 26 years old and since i can remember i have never reallly had a realtionship with my mum. Its always been a stranger sort of relationship if i have ever asked for anymore ( food, clothes, ironing, washing, even as young as 7yrs) she would always go balistic. I still live with my mum but i am now fixing up my new house to move out. My 'relationship' with my mum has got to an all time low, she actually hates me. I'm a good daughter i clean up after both of us, dishes clothes etc, i work as a primary school teacher and i have a realtionship with my bf of 7 years. Recently my mum doesn't even look at me, she walks in through the door and pretends i'm not even present. I have just suffered a terrible flu where i had to miss work and she refused to make me anything to eat or buy me any meds i had to go out with a fever of 40oc. This weekend though has been the worst she has told me that she doesn't love me or like me. She then started shouting at me saying she didn't want to have me but she did! she has lost it. I feel very alone i don't have a relationship with my dad and i just don't know what to do. I have tried talking to her but she closes her eyes and shouts these things i mentioned. What should i do? Do you think i should just forget about her completly when i move out? I feel so depressed i have found it hard to wake up in the mornings and have even had suicidal thoughts? thanks : )

[purplecupcakeglitter]

Me and my mother used to fight and argue and she put me through a lot when i was abused mentally and sexually by her husband when i was 15yo. I now am able to have a relationship with her because we no longer live together. It was hard after i told her about what her husband did to me she called me a liar and walked past me a dozen times a day and acted as if i were not there as if i had died and she did not care. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they do not. You have to do what is best for you and your well being, and i believe your wellbeing is elsewhere and not wih her. I hope you find peace and in your life.

[AuntyK24]

I think it might be good to get out. Move on your own for awhile and if or when you feel comfortable talking to her then try to visit. But remember she can't force you. It may turn out to be a little better not to be around all the time. Good luck and I wish you the best. I have been there. Except I was taken from my mother at 15. I am now 24. Being away from her has made some room for improvement. Maybe it will for you too

[margypops]

Yes I agree you dont have to live there you may have a better relationship with her if you just visit ..if you have a bf is he going to marry you sometime maybe pop the question to him and you can find a home together ...

[allmymarbles]

There is no law that says parents and children must love each other. It is unfortunate when they don't, but there is nothing that can be done about it. Move away and start a new, independent life. What happens after that is in the lap of the gods.

[HelpMe305]

I am in more or less the same situation. My mother has always treated me bad. Physically and mentally. To be honest, you are a grown women and maybe it would be smart for you to exclude her from your life. Learn to live without her.  If she can't love you, at least love yourself. You say you have a boyfriend? Start your own life and family. You can't change her but you can better yourself. Plus maybe if you stop speaking to her, she will realize what she lost, if not then her loss.