How Can I heal from daily emotional abuse by my mother

[lostsoul107]

I cannot function any more!  I am so exhausted, tired of all of the acuusations, the sarcasim, the put downs and all the talk about how stupid I am?!  How everything I do is wrong?  I ran from my verbally abusive mother into the arms of a controlling husband?  I only realized this recently as my whole world was crumbling down!  I was faced with too many hurtful realities that I could not face for years.  I lived in denial for years and was trying to please both.  She now lives with me ...and I have tunred into an emotional wreck?!  I can't run away?  No matter what I tell her I am always wrong and she always right?  I am tired...I feel I can't do anything anymore!  I can't move forward as I lost my self esteem and self respect.  I feel powerless to change anything.  I stood up to my husband and was able to stop his control and threatened divorce... he is behaving so far, but what can I do about my mother?  Please help me, I am sinking and losing my self quicker than I can imagine.....Tell me how can I heal myself.  I confront her, but she never stops!  please help.. Is there anything to impower me to make me feel better about my self.  I want to stop her daily dose of verbal abuse.  Please help!

[margypops]

I am so sorry this is happening  to you ,a lot of people wear glasses I do for the PC for reading ,it does not make dumb or stupid , what is it you have to do till 11pm come back and tell us more.. talking helps .You are not alone ,you are not dumb stupid or blind..

[agony_aunt]

ur telling me. cause i wear glasses im blind ND DUMB......soz im starting to cry now.and cause im a girl i have to do evertything and i after i finish its 11:00 clock at night and i have to do my hw.apprantly im dumb,stupid and blind, and soz cryin. anyway dont take it 2 heart i dont now.but still i cry over it everyday. REMBERING MY MOM HATES ME

[margypops]

Is there any way you can move away, you can still visit with your Mom but it would then be on your terms,you can visit her, and if she is abusive you say "I am not visiting you if you talk to me like this"you then leave her alone, tell her" Call me when you can speak to me properly"If you have to live with her for any reasons of finance etc..you do the same , when she is speaking to you badly you walk away, tell her 'Stop I will not speak or listen to you until you treat me with respect"you go to your room or your part of the house, you are not powerless, no one has to put up with abusive behavior..Be consistant, it is you that is allowing it to happen,if you stood up to your husband you can do it again...

[guessagain]

Hi,

Why is you mother living with you?

Doing something about it? You've already started when you talk about it. I would guess that if you grew up in that environment, you might even be somewhat of a perfectionist. Maybe it's your heart that hurts, because you know inside how hard you try to please and do everything right, for everybody, you just can't.

Can you get some relaxing down time anywhere, your time?

Obviously it has already beaten you down and your feeling like you have to please everyone else because of the training you received for years, but as hard as it is, you might have to remind mother that there are other places she can live, subsidized housing, assisted living, nursing home, cardboard box maybe. You could even suggest that it's a very nice day for a drive, maybe a very, very long drive out in the country to pick some wild flowers................If you really start feeling bad about it, you can always go back and get her.

Seriously though, you can't let it continue, it will completely consume you. Try not to let it go all the way to your heart.