HELP!!!

[Lizzy1989]

i grew up in a really rough home where I was physically abuse everytime that i would even walk in the same room she would try and beat on me she even tried to stab me before when my dad died things got so much worse all i had to do was walk in the room and she would jump on me she would call me all sorts of names and throw stuff at me as a child she tried to kill me on some occasions it got so bad i would run away from home and stay with a friend she is bipolar and is on paxil for angermanagement issues she has other problems and my siblings have turned out just like her there was and still is no place for me to go except at my husbands house but he dont think that i can take care of myself so while hes at work i have to go to moms is it safe for a pregnant women to go there?

[Amphitrite]

Oh good I'm so glad to hear that!!!:)
You know we're always here!

Amph

[Lizzy1989]

yes everythings fine its going really really good now

[Amphitrite]

Yes, as anna asked, how are you?

Is everything okay?

You know you don't have to say everythings okay here if it's not. No judgement here, ever. Were just worried about you because we know how much stress your under.

Huggs

[AnnaE]

How are you doing?

[AnnaE]

Yes we are here. I hope that you can trust your doctor, in case you need to talk to him. or need medication.

Best,

Anna

[Amphitrite]

Always trust your gut..and womens intuition:)

[Lizzy1989]

thanks i have a good feeling that things are about to change and my feeling are normally right lol :-)

hugs

[Amphitrite]

I'm glad your feeling better. Were always here for you and we care.
Youe always welcome here:)

Hugs

[Lizzy1989]

thhanks alot youve really opened up my eyes its all gonna get better thankyou

[Amphitrite]

No problem sweetie..you'll have that greatest girft one day. But when your truely ready it will be so much more amazing, Truely it's worth the wait.
I believe your baby is just waiting until your ready and she/he keeps telling you your not by miscarring (I've had two I know how hurful they can be).

But I feel she was saying your not ready..I'm going to wait until you are and then things well be beautiful. I'm not ready yet but since I know she's waiting I don't feel rushed to get pegnant. Everything happens in it's right time.

[Lizzy1989]

thanks your really helpful i think your right it is time that i go and get a therapist or someone to talk to because tell the truth its alot of stress and gets so hard to take care of everything by myself thankyou for your words and wisdom youve been a tremendous help i think why i wanted a baby so bad is to have something that i can love and be loved back its one of the greatest gifts in life but thank you.

[Amphitrite]

Lizzy, I'm a little confused. Bear with me whil eI try to understand a little. Your journal entry yesterday said you were still trying and not pregnant.
But that you take care of your mother and your siblings.

But your husband doesn' think you can take care of yourself so he makes you go to your mothers house, and he knows what she has done to you.

You've said you've had two misscarriages out of the stress of caring for your mother and your siblings and the way your boyfriend/husband has treated you and that he wasn't happy when you were pregnant and was happy when you miscarried.

You said you were fixing to get married when you first found out but it seemed he wasn't happy and then when you miscarried he was happy.
And because of his religion you aren't allowed to call him your husband.

I'm just trying to figure out your situation here because it's quite confusing and I think your real question out of all of this is it safe to go to your mothers while your pregnant?

But of your taking care of her and your husband makes you go over there because he doesn't think you can take care of yourself where else are you going to go?

That's the question...
How badly does your mother need your care? And can you talk to your partner about your being at home while he's at work

Because if youe mother can get by without your care and your husband will let you stay at home then that's an option for when you do get pregnant.

But you should be careful because your relationship with your partner doesn't sound healthy. Are you sure you should be trying. He won't let you call him your husband because of his religion, he yells at you if your out of cigarettes and the stess he put you under caused a misscarriage. And he doesn't believe you can take care of yourself so makes you go to your mothers house where you were abused.
You have all these responsibilities of caring for your mother, siblings and the child your partner already has.
I'm just saying maybe right now isn't the time. especially if you have to care for your mother but your afraid of her and being there when you do get pregnant.

Have you thought about therapy because it sounds like you could use someone to really talk to. Your reaching out for help so much here, which is what this great place is for. But it sounds like because of what you went through in the past and the abusive home you grew up in and now having to care for your mom who abused you, you should maybe have someone you can go to to talk to them about ALL that's going on.

Have you told your partner that your afraid to go to your mothers or is it only when your pregnant when your afraid to go?

You've had alot of loss in your life like your father and your best friend, your misscarriages and all this responsibility. From where I'm standing your partner doesn't treat you the way you desreve and doesn't think you have the ability to take care of yourself. What's going to happen if you get pregnant and the baby comes and he has to go to work?

I'm a little concerned about yopur whole situation and what it's doing to you mentally.
I think you really need to call around for a good therapist. You can find one in your local phone book. Some work on sliding scales where you only pay a little but of money and some are free.

There is an agency called The Mental Health Association. You should have one in your county. They can help you find help.

Please call for some help. Your so young and in a situation that's really creating alot of stress for you.

Amph