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Relationship with an older woman
I'm 32 and I'm in a relationship with a 54yo woman since almost a year ago. At the time I was living on my own. In the beginning we were seeing each other about 3-4 times a week, sex was great and we had a fair communication flow.
She eventually lost her house and had to move to an apartment she could barely afford with her ex husband alimony, so I figured I'd help her out by moving in since I have a full time job and I do well also with freelance gigs on the side.
Suddenly everything changed. Sex wasn't anymore as great as before, but most of all I completely lost any personal time since she became very needy and requires my attention whenever I'm around, and if I don't give it to her without proper notice she will cry and complain in a rather dramatic way.
Because of her behavior I got to the point that I have no time for freelance clients, I already lost one because she forced me to ignore my responsibility.
A few nights ago an unprecedented episode occurred: we were having a conversation and right in the middle of it she starts insisting that I accused her twice of checking up on me and questioning me about my facebook friends. I was completely taken aback and asked get when did I say that, and she looked at me and asked me of I was kidding, and she went on saying that I told her twice not even 10 mins prior!
She was utterly convinced that I said something I never said. I'm not the jealous type so that would have been completely out of character.
How do I deal with this situation? Unfortunately leaving is not an option at the moment as we signed a lease for a year and if I walk away it's gonna open a whole new can of worms.
She eventually lost her house and had to move to an apartment she could barely afford with her ex husband alimony, so I figured I'd help her out by moving in since I have a full time job and I do well also with freelance gigs on the side.
Suddenly everything changed. Sex wasn't anymore as great as before, but most of all I completely lost any personal time since she became very needy and requires my attention whenever I'm around, and if I don't give it to her without proper notice she will cry and complain in a rather dramatic way.
Because of her behavior I got to the point that I have no time for freelance clients, I already lost one because she forced me to ignore my responsibility.
A few nights ago an unprecedented episode occurred: we were having a conversation and right in the middle of it she starts insisting that I accused her twice of checking up on me and questioning me about my facebook friends. I was completely taken aback and asked get when did I say that, and she looked at me and asked me of I was kidding, and she went on saying that I told her twice not even 10 mins prior!
She was utterly convinced that I said something I never said. I'm not the jealous type so that would have been completely out of character.
How do I deal with this situation? Unfortunately leaving is not an option at the moment as we signed a lease for a year and if I walk away it's gonna open a whole new can of worms.
ARE YOU CRAZY IF THAT WAS ME I WOULD LEAVE THE ***** WHO NEED A OLD BAG TO CONTROL YOU ..YOU ARE 32 FID A 23 OR OLDER RIGHT FOR YOU WITH A TIGHT MIND NOT A WIDE MIND... YOU GET MY POINT..........
GET the hell outta there she will find her way she is 54 for god sake she is robbing your youth and sound's like a controling,jelous,manipulator, i would rn not walk i know thease types andim tellin you run and dn't tell her anything just be gone i know it sound's meen and idon't like it to comeoff like that but think abt it you are in yur 20's she is damn near60 do you have a mother if not that may be why you stay im telling you in the long run you will come out on the short end of the stick!!!!Go and live your life like a normal 20something yr old.and she can do whatever she want's on facebook and so can you i can't stand for someone to huverover me and be controlling no way hoza.
Do you love this woman? Do you want too spend your life with her? these are two important questions also it sounds like she could be trying too play with you emotionally trying too make you feel guilty! what you need too tell her is you are allowed too have some personal time, everyone is, however have you thought that maybe because she is alot older than you that she could be possibly be a little jealous and worried that you may leave her because of the age difference.
Personally if i were you, (because you dont sound very happy) if you dont see you spending the rest of your life with this woman... I think you should leave her now, I know you said you had signed a lease... But you dont deserve too be unhappy, no one does:( anyway on whatever you decided too do i want too wish you good luck and hope you mangage too sort out this sticky situation... Please do keep us all posted
Personally if i were you, (because you dont sound very happy) if you dont see you spending the rest of your life with this woman... I think you should leave her now, I know you said you had signed a lease... But you dont deserve too be unhappy, no one does:( anyway on whatever you decided too do i want too wish you good luck and hope you mangage too sort out this sticky situation... Please do keep us all posted
It definitely sounds as though she is insecure and controlling. You were doing her a huge favor by moving in and helping her with the rent, bills, etc... It's sad becuase you are losing business, can't go on facebook, and throwing temper tantrums to upset you. Have you two come to any decisions? It seems that you aren't very happy with the way it is working out now, and it sounds as though she is emotionally abusive with you. I am so sorry to hear about what is happening to you.
Please keep us posted and we wish you the best of luck.
Please keep us posted and we wish you the best of luck.
Ask the landlord to terminate the lease and walk out on her. Who needs this nonsense?
Thank you for sharing your situation and being open to suggestions from others.
How do you want to deal with your situation? Do you think there is a health issue that is involved with the behavior of your partner? Do you think she is controlling? Do you think she is holding you back from being more successful in your job? Do you want this relationship to continue? Do you feel like you are being smothered?
These are just some of the questions that would surface for me considering what you shared. Why isn't the sex as good anymore? Was it what brought the relationship this far? If you feel you have lost your freedom, how would you go about getting it back? Are you afraid of hurting her feelings if you try to disengage some?
I think it is time to take back some of what you have lost. Time to carefully plan out how you will firmly state what your goals are and what boundaries you would like to keep. You are separate persons and need room to breathe by yourself.
Another question to consider that occurs to me is the age difference. What attracted you to this older woman? Is she suddenly looking more like mother? Was there mystique before and now you see an aging woman?
Don't be afraid to ask yourself the tough questions. If you love this person and want to build a life with her, it is important to find the way to let her know what you are feeling and what your needs are.
I wish you the best in solving this challenge.
How do you want to deal with your situation? Do you think there is a health issue that is involved with the behavior of your partner? Do you think she is controlling? Do you think she is holding you back from being more successful in your job? Do you want this relationship to continue? Do you feel like you are being smothered?
These are just some of the questions that would surface for me considering what you shared. Why isn't the sex as good anymore? Was it what brought the relationship this far? If you feel you have lost your freedom, how would you go about getting it back? Are you afraid of hurting her feelings if you try to disengage some?
I think it is time to take back some of what you have lost. Time to carefully plan out how you will firmly state what your goals are and what boundaries you would like to keep. You are separate persons and need room to breathe by yourself.
Another question to consider that occurs to me is the age difference. What attracted you to this older woman? Is she suddenly looking more like mother? Was there mystique before and now you see an aging woman?
Don't be afraid to ask yourself the tough questions. If you love this person and want to build a life with her, it is important to find the way to let her know what you are feeling and what your needs are.
I wish you the best in solving this challenge.
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