Sour Relationship with my mother

[Lolaxx]

My mother and I have a horrible relationship and it seemed to have started when I entered my freshman year of high school. Currently I am a graduating high school senior and I have gotten into a prestigious university, found a summer job and am saving up to help pay for college. From my freshman year my mother has constantly verbally assaulted me and I feel like human trash. It seems as if I am not good enough for her and everything I do is terrible. I am a "good kid" maintain a decent GPA, have good SAT scores and test well with AP's, I study hard and I try to help around the house. Every time I receive a bad grade my mother will yell and scream but anytime I receive a good grade, (B+ or higher) she has not acknowledged it at all. Since school is winding down each teacher of mine is also letting loose and not giving us much work but my mother expects me to constantly study even though I really have nothing to study for. A few months ago I began a relationship with a boy that I've know for quite a while before, my boyfriend is kind, funny, sweet and he sincerely cares about me. But my mother cannot stand him and this is straining my relationship with her even more. She use to say that I can come to her about anything but when I approached her about receiving birth control she got very angry with me and basically told me I am a disgusting human being. I googled countless of articles trying to prove to myself that all these sexual feelings are normal and it seems that according to reliable organization they are but I can't help but feel gross about my thoughts and feelings. She also reads every single one of my emails, text messages and facebook conversations and I think that this is overstepping boundaries but she does not agree and reads private messages between my friends and me and my boyfriend and me. She ignores me every time I try to talk to her about being reasonable and letting me go out with my boyfriend but she says I should be studying studying studying. I have no idea how to approach her anymore, every time I come home even if I'm in fantastic mood, her presence and her attitude towards me makes me very sour. All of this is straining my relationship with my father and my brother and I'm at a complete loss on what to do.  

[allmymarbles]

I had difficult relations with my mother and finally decided the best thing I could do would be to move out. (I was a sophomore in college.) The whole thing was hard for me financially, but for the first time in years I was happy. Ultimately I had a guilt-free love affair which added a new and delightful dimension to my life.

[RockRose]

I think whether this can be considered "abusive" or not we need to know what culture your mother is from.  I'm just going to ask.  Is your mother of Indian descent?

[Prizefighter]

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your mom and the way she acts.  What I would if I were you is  "do me" and let her "do her".  Meaning, you know the right thing to do. Protect yourself with birth control and go to college. Good job with school and college by the way.  You should start making your own choices and try not to involve your mom in them so much any more.  Some people are the way they are and will not change.  As I learned in my old age, just let people be.  Why she acts like this, who know. If you move out and go to college, it will hopefully get better for you. If you stay home and go to college, just keep your head up and keep doing the right think. If you were my daughter, I would be very proud of you.