honey the best thing you can ever do is be honest and she is right it wasnt her fault just like its not your fault what happened.I do think you both need someone to talk to and even though everyone seems to say therapist I say someone who understands and can truly hear you and cares about what you say.
Why are you so worried about fixing her - it sounds like you are concentrating on her issues because that's more comfortable than working through your own, very similar issues.
I personally don't think it's all that healthy for you to be around her - you might try choosing women who are emotionally healthy as your best friends and not gravitate toward women who are less far in the healing process.
She doesn't believe in psychologists and she says what happened has no affect on her at all and that she is fine.
and I'm seeing one but this is a topic I'm not comfortable talking about. I've tried to write it and give it to her but she always refused to read and asked me to read it myself when I'm ready.
You could help each other by both deciding to go to a psychologist who specializes in this particular problem.