What to do next

[jennydt]

I have been fighting to not drink, the screwy thing is I don't want to I don't crave it most of the time. It's only in social situations that I have issues, I thought. I went to a party this weekend lots of alcohol lots of drinking I didn't even want any. My problem is when I drink I do really stupid things drive my car, fight with my daughter, act like a total ***. I don't want to do those things, so I am not drinking. I also let all the past bubble up and lose control of my emotions and fears.
The problem I am seeing is not the drinking so much I think I can work on that with help, It's the past and my bad decisions, how do I get my kids better how do I get them to forgive me. How do I forgive myself? I am seriously depressed and so frustrated with myself. I feel totally alone and also feel I deserve to feel this way.
How do I get to where I can be worth something to my kids and myself? Where do I start?

[allmymarbles]

There is only one answer and you know what it is. You have to stop drinking. If you need help to accomplish this, then get it. As to your drinking when you don't want to, that is a little hard to believe. Are you really that subject to peer pressure?

[margypops]

they say that you have to find out why you drink, if it becomes a habit theres usually some other reason, you are escaping from reality, you know it may not be alcohol but many people as we see here on MH are addicted to drugs even prescription drugs . I would say to youthat you have already made a start ....you came here , many folks have been through similar the fact you realise all may not be well and you want to make your life better for you and the children is a good thing . Have you joined any groups and forums , theres plenty to do here ,friends in abundance ..and always a happening or two going on .... welcome and good luck.

[designgyrl]

I agree with Danzon.  It sounds as though you need some individual and family counseling.  Have you decided to go to any support classes on your drinking?  It sounds as though you may be a binge drinker, when you drink you really get it going, is that correct? Please be careful, as I work for an insurance carrier and unfortunately deal with a lot of people that drive around drunk, and have seen too many cases where people have lost their lives because of the drinking and driving.  It may be that you have a bad tolerance with alcohol and maybe shouldn't drink at all.  I truly hope you have found some support groups to help you with some of these things that you have told us.  

[Dazon50]

You have taken the steps by admitting to yourself and others the reality of what happens when you drink and also that you desire so much more for yourself and your children.......

It is never easy, but with each step, it gets a bit better :-))

I don't know if you have seen a counselor through the medical system or through church, etc. or if $ is a problem.  I don't know if you've been reading stories of others in similar situations or inspirational type writings....or if you have a support network...but those are all good things to tap into.

You are certainly welcome to add me to your growing list of friends :-)))