is this love or not

[jessiplus3]

Hi ppl. So I'm 19 and 8 months pregnant w my third kid I am married my husband is 21. He has also been hitting me chocking kicking me n he recently got a shot gun n told me one night he would kill me in my sleep n held it to my head he keeps brass knuckles in the house n has been calling my four year old son nasty names like ***** and ******.he trips and pushes him around all the time n laughs it off. My question is a month ago I left him finally he was very controlling and.I was not allowed to wear certain close or makeup and wasn't allowed out side I pressed charges and me n the kids r living w my mom but now he sirry and wants his family back and really telling me everything I want to hear. I'm scared if I dnt get some help or advice ima go back I always go back n fourth but I think if I go back thia time he will kill me cuz now he mad I got the cops involved but why do I still get suckered in by his charm that I knoe is a lie what do I do?

[margypops]

Normal to feel nervous of any abuser, you will be stronger next time ..Stay away from him and before you go make notes of what you are going to say that will help you .god luck let us know what happens ..

[allmymarbles]

Are there any males in the family to help protect you? A brother? A father?

[jessiplus3]

Yeah but my dad has been in trouble a lot. So ifeel guilty getting himm in trouble on my account

[margypops]

As a legal person if you can get a restraining order if he comes near you,and stay strong ,and in your own words do not get suckered' in ..

[ladyonaquest]

Sweetheart contact the domestic violence shelter in your area and get outreach counseling. You need to understand the dynamics of domestic violence and the cycle of abuse. I would also recommend that you file a Protection From Abuse order against him because he sounds like a very dangerous person. For your safety and the safety of your kids. You don't want to end up losing your children over this man because from what you just stated, someone could report this to Children and family services. Even though you are not harming your children, social services looks at it as if you are not being protective and can very well place your children with someone that they feel will protect them. You have shown that you can and will protect them by leaving, if you go back, it doesn't look good. This is coming from a former Child Abuse and Neglect Social worker who now works with Domestic Violence victims in Shelter. Please seek counseling, please protect yourself

[Nighthawk61]

If you go back you are harming your children and your children will grow up hating you just as much as their father. I know because that's what happened to my mom. She had the opportunity to leave, and not go back. She chose to go back and had a terrible life when all four of her children blamed her just as much as my abusive father.  Congratulations for being a HERO and protecting your children. It is imperative that you write a letter and practice saying what you need to in court. I agree totally that you need to take advantage of counseling, for yourself and your children. I know how incredibly hard it is to turn away from someone that you think you love and you think loves you. But please trust us...... after you get involved with counseling you will no longer be confused as to whether this is a loving relationship. I'm sorry that it isn't, You have a right to a loving relationship. Look after your kids first , and i'm sure that you will find a good man down the road, after you've proven to yourself and your kids that you are a great mother!!! I'm not going to say Best of Luck, because what you have to do has nothing to do with luck, it takes action!! The counseling has been put in place as a result of many women and children who have lost their lives. Please, take advantage of the counselling available. God Bless you and your family. Please keep posting. We all want to support you over the next days and months, until you have found true happiness. You are not alone!!