boyfriend of 8 years

[Majikat]

so the past couple years have been really rough between us we have three kids the first one from a different father our first child together has pretty severe autism and we have a one year old.

he does not help with the baby at all when i was pregnant 8 months he yelled at me how he didnt want the baby which was devastating to me cause we actually planned him

he has not come straight home after work in as long as i can remember cause he wants to relax when he is off of work, he does not allow me to go out with friends like the last time i went out was in october and i gave him 9 months notice for that... if i am in a bad mood he starts screaming at me calling me a stu pid piece of s h i t ... threatens to not buy me necceities.... i needed tampons a couple weeks ago and he interrogated me about it as to why i would neeed them cause he bought some 4 months ago

told me that if i dont sleep with him that he wont buy me things well im not a prostitute

when he is mad at me he takes things away from me like when i used to smoke he would take them and leave and yesterday he took my starbucks away so when i got a chance a grabbed it and threw it all over his car

he screams at me when i am talking in a normal voice

when he is mad at me he will say well im not doing this now like some thing that he promised to do for my first son

after a few days of fighting he will be like im sorry i love you i didnt mean it but then it just starts all over again like a cycle

how do i get out of this it is pulling me under and i cant take it much longer

[Majikat]

if i just go out i fear that he will just leave the kids alone or not take care of them....

he said that if i leave he will fight as hard as he can for custody not because he wants them but because he would just wan to put me through hell

no he has never touched me, although i think that he is capable

i got put under investigation for my child tax benifits and they havnt been giving me money for six months now so even if i went to social services they wouldnt give me enought money to cover my exxpenses and for the amount of child support he will have to pay i wont be eligable for welfare cause i looked up how much he would have to give me and it would be about 1000

i could go back to my parents but i think that might be worse than my current situation as i dont get a long with my mother that well when i live with her.... funny thing is tho she works at the womens shelter.... subsidised housing list is 2 years... im hoping that when the issue with my money is worked out i will get a nice enough cheque to get out... but i dont know if i am gonna win the case they sent me a bill for 38 thousand i dont know how or why but thats what it is.....

it also pisses me off that if i leave he gets to go off and do whatever he wants while i sit at home with the kids all day but that wouldnt be any different than now

i am terrified of him trying to take my kids awy that is maybe why i havnt done it yet....

[AnnieBrooke]

Even with a child who has autism, you would be better off as a single mother than living with someone who constantly drains you with worry and pain.  Talk to a counselor or your pastor at church, and talk to a lawyer or legal-services agency about what financial obligation he will have for the children if you leave.  If you don't have any money, talk to a social services agency or women's services agency.  A lot of this can be done by phone.  You need an escape plan.

[allmymarbles]

I don't understand why you put up with it. When he says you can't go out with  your friends, why don't you go anyway? Is he violent? Are you afraid of him? Please give more information.