Aa
jetx wife side of the story
Dear members,
For those who read Jetx
my wife abuses me, here is my side of the story. My husband in a rage of anger said he was going to write to an abuse website since me (his evil wife) was abusing this innocent man. So, I read all the posts and all the info is true, but from his point of view. I am having a real hard time keeping my head above water, and I have no one to really talk to since I am a full time mother of three, have been moving about 15 times, in the past 11 years, of which to 4 different countries, which comprises of 3 different languages. So, even though I have my lovely children and parents and family (who live a 14hr plane ride away) I have been driven to the point of insanity by my husband. It all started when we met 13 years ago during a vacation trip. Just real nice, sweet, romantic but meeting half way across the world once a month was not a reflection of reality. I worked for the airlines, LOVED my job and had benefits to travel the world and see all the parts that I could only have dreamt of. My husband met me as that beaming young woman who was in her element, just happy and giddy with giggles. He loved that about me since he came from a family who was very mentally heavy, his mother tried to commit suicide many times and she was always on anti depressants. (in the 13 years I have known her, she has never laughed or cracked a joke) (nothing wrong with that, just a complete opposite from my crazy family though) Anyway, we fell in love, and my parents were not at all pleased since I was going half way round the world to meet some guy they didn't even know. So ,it was tough for me and I had to resist and argue with their concerns and critisisms. Anyway, I didn't care, I was so in love and would go see him, stay in a room he had rented from a family, for up to 11 hrs, while he finished his job, just so I could spend a little time with him. But when things started getting serious and he started talking marriage, it clicked to me, this is just not wise, I was from the US, he was from Europe, it was never going to work, since I would want to be in my territory and he in his. I wanted to call it off at least twice, but he cried and swear to me that he would not want to go back to his country and he would make a life with where I was. Now, his job in the airline industry was quite competetive at the time and he had to wait till some airline hired him in miami and for him to get his immigration paper work taken care off. I was in LA, and I transfered to Miami since his job was going to be there. To fast forward all this just a tad, the job in miami didn't work out for him ( I will have to end now since the battery is low, I'll continue when I have some time)thanks
For those who read Jetx
my wife abuses me, here is my side of the story. My husband in a rage of anger said he was going to write to an abuse website since me (his evil wife) was abusing this innocent man. So, I read all the posts and all the info is true, but from his point of view. I am having a real hard time keeping my head above water, and I have no one to really talk to since I am a full time mother of three, have been moving about 15 times, in the past 11 years, of which to 4 different countries, which comprises of 3 different languages. So, even though I have my lovely children and parents and family (who live a 14hr plane ride away) I have been driven to the point of insanity by my husband. It all started when we met 13 years ago during a vacation trip. Just real nice, sweet, romantic but meeting half way across the world once a month was not a reflection of reality. I worked for the airlines, LOVED my job and had benefits to travel the world and see all the parts that I could only have dreamt of. My husband met me as that beaming young woman who was in her element, just happy and giddy with giggles. He loved that about me since he came from a family who was very mentally heavy, his mother tried to commit suicide many times and she was always on anti depressants. (in the 13 years I have known her, she has never laughed or cracked a joke) (nothing wrong with that, just a complete opposite from my crazy family though) Anyway, we fell in love, and my parents were not at all pleased since I was going half way round the world to meet some guy they didn't even know. So ,it was tough for me and I had to resist and argue with their concerns and critisisms. Anyway, I didn't care, I was so in love and would go see him, stay in a room he had rented from a family, for up to 11 hrs, while he finished his job, just so I could spend a little time with him. But when things started getting serious and he started talking marriage, it clicked to me, this is just not wise, I was from the US, he was from Europe, it was never going to work, since I would want to be in my territory and he in his. I wanted to call it off at least twice, but he cried and swear to me that he would not want to go back to his country and he would make a life with where I was. Now, his job in the airline industry was quite competetive at the time and he had to wait till some airline hired him in miami and for him to get his immigration paper work taken care off. I was in LA, and I transfered to Miami since his job was going to be there. To fast forward all this just a tad, the job in miami didn't work out for him ( I will have to end now since the battery is low, I'll continue when I have some time)thanks
If you want to stay together, go see a marriage counselor, that is what they are there for. If it is hopeless, I feel you both should go your own way.
i read your last post and i will have to say that my comment would still be the same when i read jetx posts i said leave, there seemed to be to many issues also your posts-sound much like his i think that you both, are to blame i am not going to ask any questions like i did jetx i would probably get the same ans i told him to leave as the bickering is not good for the kids and his anger may get worse and then what you say you love him, i am sorry if i cant post what you want to hear but my first ans still stand why should the children suffer because of the two of you if you want to go to work go i raised 3 girls alone i only made minuimn wages but we made it i did not have a nice house bot there was no bickering you may not get a job like you want but there are some jobs also if you want a nice big dream house hang in there it depends on what you really want out of life luck jo
part 3
thanks for your comments, I was looking forward to seeing some feedback.
Just to quickly summarise the rest of my story, we went to his country for a visit and one of his friends told us of a job there he would help him get. We both smiled and said thanks but no. Then we return home and we get phone calls from his mother saying that another friend of his had called her and could recommend him for that job. Oh my gosh, this woman insisted, insisted. called, called, called, called... (get the picture) finally his mind starting being influenced. I could see the difference in him. All of a sudden he was saying please give me 2 years of my heaven. Please let work in that company for two years only.. you'll have a beautiful house, dream car, and travel the world, spending money etc etc. I said no, because I wanted to work my way up, slowly but surely. At least both of us would be doing what we both loved. Then he started getting verbally abusive, saying I was such a stupid B----h, I was not thinking of the childs future, I would never have a dream house like that, I was a bad mother for not caring etc etc. I did not want to give up my job that easily cause it was what I enjoyed and yet very flexible. He did not even give it a tender thought, he wanted me to wrap my whole life, have my suitcases packed to accomodate his career. So, we end up moving to the another country. (his mother lived 3 hrs away) NO body in his family EVER came to visit us. All this ... please come please come and not even for emotional support would they make the effort to see us. My husband was gone 5 days in a row and off 2 days. I was with a 1 year old, pregnant with my second and in a country I did not speak the language. It was horrible. Then we transfered after 6 months to a nice island that was in Europe, nice but you know when you have small babies you just want that familiar face around especially since you spend most of your time exhausted and at home. I had my second child there. Luckly for me, I had a neigbour who spoke english and we got along very well. I was complaining the whole time, cause I just was so scared we would be stuck there for ever and this was going to be my life. Then 9/11 occured and after 8 months of moving the US, guess what that company we gave up everything for... laid my husband off. THIS is the time my Mother in law should have said." please come and stay at my place since you guys don't have a job or a home" no no, she said "I think it's best for all to move back to the US" So.... we moved back to my parents home and spent the next 10 months there, sleeping in my childhood bedroom. My dad gave my husband a job and we were able to save money since we didn't have to pay rent or car, insurance etc etc. So after after 11 months he got a job interview in the UK and through the grace of God he got that job. I was so glad to be a normal family again and even though I love my parents you don't want to live again in there house with small children etc. I was happy to have a working husband and to feel like we were managing without anyone's help. I was excieted to start taking some classes at a local university. My husband just shot that dream down saying "oh my gosh, you already went to university, why would you want to waste more money like that". Okay just ended up staying home full time, I suppose the way he liked it. Its not that I didn't enjoy staying at home, I was just so lonely and sad. Being in England not a soul smiles or makes and effort to even talk, after a few efforts I just lost my motivation and just let an isolated life. I felt so unappreciated. He keeps saying how anyother girl would love to be in my situation. It's my worst nightmare. I have 3 children now, have been stay at home mom for almost 10 years, have no sense of appreciation from my husband, what so ever. He thinks he helps a lot around the house, he really doesn't. He never says i'm a good mother or anything that would make me feel appreciated. He's a good man, but it's sad how selfish he was. When we were in the UK I made him buy a house as an investment instead of renting and oh my gosh how he cursed me for it! 3 years later, we sold it for a good profit. Now he says, well it was him that was making the payments. So yet again, no appreciation. He counts the pennies, but he looses the pounds. I begged him to invest in the US in 2001 he refused, saying the prices will go down after december and his job was not there. The prices tripled. Anyway, we moved again 2 years ago. I love this place and am learning yet another language. Moving here to this base was my idea and I love it here, but because I am so dependant on him in every sense, I am moving back to the US with the kids so we can set our roots down someplace and call it home. He says' I'm being very selfish etc, but he might be good at his job, but he is not a very life smart person. I love him a lot and I do not want this to end our 11 year marriage. I always promised myself that unless there was adultery involved I would never leave a marriage that easily. Please tell me, at any point if I am selfish as my husband says I am. I just cannot put myself in a situation where I am soo dependant on him for everything. I want to get a job and start feeling like a person again. He thought it was best for me to be a full time mother, but I knew I needed a little space to be me, in order to give my best for the the kids. Sadly, our kids have had to hear a lot of arguments. My husband will go to any lenght to defend his mother and I'm sorry, but that really bothers me so much. She doesn't even have the decency to remember the kids b'days. She just sends them 3 birthday cards at the same time. (one's in sept, june and oct) How mean and insulting is that knowing very well she is our closet relative (1hr) away, my family is 14 hrs away.And yet he defends her!!!!
Okay, wish me luck this june we are planning on buying a home close to where my family lives and my husband will commute 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Not the ideal situation, but it's not the worse either. It's my fault for putting myself in this situation and now it's up to me to be strong to get out of it. Just yesterday he told me I was making him stupid cause all my conversations are not intelligent ones. (yeah, thats what happens to a woman when she stays at home for 10 years and wraps her whole life around his career) The sad thing is he has this great job now that pays well,but we haven't even made 1 payment toward our mortgage. We live just a temporary life and he is so happy living like that. If i'm going to be a stay at home mum, let me at least have my own home so I could paint, grow plants, put pictures up and all the things that comes with being settled. Okay, that is a fast, fast forward of our life. Please has anyone been in this situation? How does a mother of 3 who hasn't worked in 10 years, who feels so useless just step in to the workfield with confidence to get a job.??? Thank you for taking the time to read these lenghty posts.
thanks for your comments, I was looking forward to seeing some feedback.
Just to quickly summarise the rest of my story, we went to his country for a visit and one of his friends told us of a job there he would help him get. We both smiled and said thanks but no. Then we return home and we get phone calls from his mother saying that another friend of his had called her and could recommend him for that job. Oh my gosh, this woman insisted, insisted. called, called, called, called... (get the picture) finally his mind starting being influenced. I could see the difference in him. All of a sudden he was saying please give me 2 years of my heaven. Please let work in that company for two years only.. you'll have a beautiful house, dream car, and travel the world, spending money etc etc. I said no, because I wanted to work my way up, slowly but surely. At least both of us would be doing what we both loved. Then he started getting verbally abusive, saying I was such a stupid B----h, I was not thinking of the childs future, I would never have a dream house like that, I was a bad mother for not caring etc etc. I did not want to give up my job that easily cause it was what I enjoyed and yet very flexible. He did not even give it a tender thought, he wanted me to wrap my whole life, have my suitcases packed to accomodate his career. So, we end up moving to the another country. (his mother lived 3 hrs away) NO body in his family EVER came to visit us. All this ... please come please come and not even for emotional support would they make the effort to see us. My husband was gone 5 days in a row and off 2 days. I was with a 1 year old, pregnant with my second and in a country I did not speak the language. It was horrible. Then we transfered after 6 months to a nice island that was in Europe, nice but you know when you have small babies you just want that familiar face around especially since you spend most of your time exhausted and at home. I had my second child there. Luckly for me, I had a neigbour who spoke english and we got along very well. I was complaining the whole time, cause I just was so scared we would be stuck there for ever and this was going to be my life. Then 9/11 occured and after 8 months of moving the US, guess what that company we gave up everything for... laid my husband off. THIS is the time my Mother in law should have said." please come and stay at my place since you guys don't have a job or a home" no no, she said "I think it's best for all to move back to the US" So.... we moved back to my parents home and spent the next 10 months there, sleeping in my childhood bedroom. My dad gave my husband a job and we were able to save money since we didn't have to pay rent or car, insurance etc etc. So after after 11 months he got a job interview in the UK and through the grace of God he got that job. I was so glad to be a normal family again and even though I love my parents you don't want to live again in there house with small children etc. I was happy to have a working husband and to feel like we were managing without anyone's help. I was excieted to start taking some classes at a local university. My husband just shot that dream down saying "oh my gosh, you already went to university, why would you want to waste more money like that". Okay just ended up staying home full time, I suppose the way he liked it. Its not that I didn't enjoy staying at home, I was just so lonely and sad. Being in England not a soul smiles or makes and effort to even talk, after a few efforts I just lost my motivation and just let an isolated life. I felt so unappreciated. He keeps saying how anyother girl would love to be in my situation. It's my worst nightmare. I have 3 children now, have been stay at home mom for almost 10 years, have no sense of appreciation from my husband, what so ever. He thinks he helps a lot around the house, he really doesn't. He never says i'm a good mother or anything that would make me feel appreciated. He's a good man, but it's sad how selfish he was. When we were in the UK I made him buy a house as an investment instead of renting and oh my gosh how he cursed me for it! 3 years later, we sold it for a good profit. Now he says, well it was him that was making the payments. So yet again, no appreciation. He counts the pennies, but he looses the pounds. I begged him to invest in the US in 2001 he refused, saying the prices will go down after december and his job was not there. The prices tripled. Anyway, we moved again 2 years ago. I love this place and am learning yet another language. Moving here to this base was my idea and I love it here, but because I am so dependant on him in every sense, I am moving back to the US with the kids so we can set our roots down someplace and call it home. He says' I'm being very selfish etc, but he might be good at his job, but he is not a very life smart person. I love him a lot and I do not want this to end our 11 year marriage. I always promised myself that unless there was adultery involved I would never leave a marriage that easily. Please tell me, at any point if I am selfish as my husband says I am. I just cannot put myself in a situation where I am soo dependant on him for everything. I want to get a job and start feeling like a person again. He thought it was best for me to be a full time mother, but I knew I needed a little space to be me, in order to give my best for the the kids. Sadly, our kids have had to hear a lot of arguments. My husband will go to any lenght to defend his mother and I'm sorry, but that really bothers me so much. She doesn't even have the decency to remember the kids b'days. She just sends them 3 birthday cards at the same time. (one's in sept, june and oct) How mean and insulting is that knowing very well she is our closet relative (1hr) away, my family is 14 hrs away.And yet he defends her!!!!
Okay, wish me luck this june we are planning on buying a home close to where my family lives and my husband will commute 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Not the ideal situation, but it's not the worse either. It's my fault for putting myself in this situation and now it's up to me to be strong to get out of it. Just yesterday he told me I was making him stupid cause all my conversations are not intelligent ones. (yeah, thats what happens to a woman when she stays at home for 10 years and wraps her whole life around his career) The sad thing is he has this great job now that pays well,but we haven't even made 1 payment toward our mortgage. We live just a temporary life and he is so happy living like that. If i'm going to be a stay at home mum, let me at least have my own home so I could paint, grow plants, put pictures up and all the things that comes with being settled. Okay, that is a fast, fast forward of our life. Please has anyone been in this situation? How does a mother of 3 who hasn't worked in 10 years, who feels so useless just step in to the workfield with confidence to get a job.??? Thank you for taking the time to read these lenghty posts.
Hi Sara. I did not get the chance to read his side and I will not waste my time. I am sorry, men are truly babies and say what they need to say to get what they want. Women tend to think long term before making rash decisions I'm not talking about girls, I'm talking about women. Because girls are just as manipulating as men. It is easier said than done to just get up and leave but I do think it would be the best for you. I couldn't believe he still had his mother come over. Your his wife, and I'm sorry but you should come first, always. My husband and I have been happily married for 7yrs. We respect eachother and we always put eachother first. His mother seems to be jelous of another woman in his life and very manipulative with her son and seems to be the type to constantly play the "victim". I know exacty how that can be, my husband and I went through some trial times however, he saw what I saw therefore stood by my side and needless to say she will never pull that ***t again.
I am sad for you. I am wishing you much strength as you will definately need it. Take care of yourself. good luck.
I am sad for you. I am wishing you much strength as you will definately need it. Take care of yourself. good luck.
i am familar with jetx story i think it ended 31 dec it seems like the two of you were not meant to be so i will say to you what i said to him why put up with it, the way this reads you dont sound like you like your marriage, anymore than he did my comment was to leave and after hearing your side my comment to you is leave i feel for you it is a sad story and one shold not have to live like this it will hurt the children as i told him that also lots luck jo
continued.... part 2
I always wanted to have babies and soon after we married I found out I was pregnant. We were happy despite we were as broke as a joke, but still it was good news for us. Then thats when the problems started. And at this point is the introduction of the other woman in out lives.....HIS MOTHER!!!!!! It all started when we got married in may and his mother had decide to come visit us that december. I was having a complications with my pregnancy, blood just pouring down my legs everytime I stood up. It was really scarry. I was 5000 miles from my family, had no friends and had to be on sick leave from work. (previous to that I had my first miscarriage) We didn't tell anyone about this since its a dissapointement for all. We had a tiny 1 bedroom in miami and when dec came around I told my husband that I needed to be in a calm state and if he could please tell his mother to come someother time. Oh my gosh, the woman screamed and cried and cried and cried on the phone. She wanted she wanted she wanted.... I just knew I couldn't be staying in a tiny apartment with guests who didn't even speak english. I would have been very nervous and tense, since my husband would have been working and me being left alone.My husbands reaction to his mother not being able to come???? (I shall never forget) He said "if my mother commits suicide over this, it's YOUR fault!" I was Stunned!!!! This was the begining.....
Guess what? She was there in Miami with her other son, 2days after that phone call!!!!!!!
I was so tense, bleeding so much that one time, even she saw a puddle on the carpet. They stayed for 3 weeks, 2 days later, I lost the baby.
I always wanted to have babies and soon after we married I found out I was pregnant. We were happy despite we were as broke as a joke, but still it was good news for us. Then thats when the problems started. And at this point is the introduction of the other woman in out lives.....HIS MOTHER!!!!!! It all started when we got married in may and his mother had decide to come visit us that december. I was having a complications with my pregnancy, blood just pouring down my legs everytime I stood up. It was really scarry. I was 5000 miles from my family, had no friends and had to be on sick leave from work. (previous to that I had my first miscarriage) We didn't tell anyone about this since its a dissapointement for all. We had a tiny 1 bedroom in miami and when dec came around I told my husband that I needed to be in a calm state and if he could please tell his mother to come someother time. Oh my gosh, the woman screamed and cried and cried and cried on the phone. She wanted she wanted she wanted.... I just knew I couldn't be staying in a tiny apartment with guests who didn't even speak english. I would have been very nervous and tense, since my husband would have been working and me being left alone.My husbands reaction to his mother not being able to come???? (I shall never forget) He said "if my mother commits suicide over this, it's YOUR fault!" I was Stunned!!!! This was the begining.....
Guess what? She was there in Miami with her other son, 2days after that phone call!!!!!!!
I was so tense, bleeding so much that one time, even she saw a puddle on the carpet. They stayed for 3 weeks, 2 days later, I lost the baby.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Abuse Support Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
