Aa
A termite walks into a bar....
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
-----------
A loud pounding on the front door awakens a man and his wife around 3:30 a.m. one Sunday morning. The man gets up, goes downstairs, opens the front door to Floyd Farnsworth, his neighbour, standing in a pouring rain, asking for a push.
"Not a chance, Floyd," barks the husband indignantly. "you`re obviously inebriated again, it`s nearly four a.m. Go on home for cripes sake." He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just Floyd asking me for a push", he answers.
"Well, did you help him?" she asks
"No way! He`s drunk as a newt and it`s raining like hell out there."
Well, you`ve got a short memory!" says his wife.
Remember about three months ago, when we broke down on the highway and those two guys gave you a hand? I think you should help poor Floyd."
Feeling guilty, the husband reluctantly does as he is told. He gets dressed, trudges into the pounding rain and calls out in the dark, "Farnsworth, are you still there?"
"Yeah", comes the slurred reply.
"Do you still need a push?", asks the husband, who is now soaking wet.
"Oh please, please," blurts Farnsworth from the dark.
"Okay, where are you then? asks the husband, impatiently.
"Over here, on theswing/"
-----------
A loud pounding on the front door awakens a man and his wife around 3:30 a.m. one Sunday morning. The man gets up, goes downstairs, opens the front door to Floyd Farnsworth, his neighbour, standing in a pouring rain, asking for a push.
"Not a chance, Floyd," barks the husband indignantly. "you`re obviously inebriated again, it`s nearly four a.m. Go on home for cripes sake." He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just Floyd asking me for a push", he answers.
"Well, did you help him?" she asks
"No way! He`s drunk as a newt and it`s raining like hell out there."
Well, you`ve got a short memory!" says his wife.
Remember about three months ago, when we broke down on the highway and those two guys gave you a hand? I think you should help poor Floyd."
Feeling guilty, the husband reluctantly does as he is told. He gets dressed, trudges into the pounding rain and calls out in the dark, "Farnsworth, are you still there?"
"Yeah", comes the slurred reply.
"Do you still need a push?", asks the husband, who is now soaking wet.
"Oh please, please," blurts Farnsworth from the dark.
"Okay, where are you then? asks the husband, impatiently.
"Over here, on theswing/"
COMMUNITY LEADER
These are frickin hilarious!!! Thanks for making us laugh Mangee.....Laughter is the best medicine~~~~~sara
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