You may laugh at my question, but I'm genuinely concerned that I'm addicted to distributing and selling drugs in my community. To give some background on my issue, I began smoking weed in the 7th grade almost every day being high 24/7. I had recently moved to a new middle school on the south side of my 100,000 population midwestern city, and I didn't have many friends. I eventually met highschool sophomore weed dealers that would give me an ounce a month to sell in exchange for some personal weed. I would sell each ounce for $560 at $20/gram to my classmates at school because I was the only one in the entire school with real access to weed. Skip forward to my freshman year of high school I met new weed connects, so I was getting an ounce for much cheaper ($120 for quality stuff) and brought my price down to $10/gram. With those two things being lowered my customer base stretched to over 450 clients who would regularly buy from me each month whether it was a gram too three pounds to the next town over. For some reason over the course of my junior year (last year), I was presented with opportunities to sell "harder drugs" such as Cocaine, Molly, and Muscle Relaxers. I instantly took the offer and begun taking 2 8 hour trips to the cities a week bringing back $5,000-$20,000 worth of product and getting it gone within a week or two most. This is also the first year I have had any repercussion where kids at my school had been reporting me to the police, and I was searched, but nothing was found. Even after a close call like that I have not slowed down but have started going harder, and I don't know why. I live a good life in a decent apartment with my roommate and her two cats. I rarely indulge in myself with fancy clothes and cars as many would think a dealer of my caliber would do. I still smoke pot every day, and I don't believe that is the issue, and I know I don't care about the money, so I'm stuglling to find out why I do these things. I do fear. Eventually, I will get in over my head and end up dead or in jail or both, and in my town, there are little to none youth centers or counseling to get out of this life which has left me feeling trapped and helpless. With that all being said, please give me any feedback all is appreciated.