I'm at my first court appearance right now

[loveandlight05]

I'm here early. I am so ******* nervous, and my attorney said the DA will most likely pursue like every charge possible today. I took the day off work just in case I am a mess. I will update here when I am done.

[Krissy_123]

Everything will work out I'm sure!! Sending you positive vibes!!

[loveandlight05]

Not good. I went into the courtroom and checked in. My attorney went into the room in between the courtroom and the hallway with the DA. The bailiff told me to wait outside for my attorney, and when I walked out, I heard the DA say, "This is more than an addiction."

I asked my attorney about it when he met me in the hallway, and he told me that he really wished I hadn't heard that. He said the prosecutor is very young. She is female. To summarize, he said she's pretty much a *****. He told me to keep doing what is right, and we prayed together. He reminded me that no one wants to lock up first time offenders usually.

The one good thing that came out of today is that I truly feel my attorney is the attorney for me. He does get it, and he does care.

[loveandlight05]

I'm just bawling.

[weaver71]

They always throw the book at you, for the first meeting. DA's job is to go for max, your attorney's job is to go for the minimum, so the game of rhetoric begins. The judge is not going to give you the full extent of the law, the courts simply can't afford to house every first time offender. You will have other offers, just keep doing the right thing, it will work out as God will's it.

[loveandlight05]

Thank you so much, Weaver, for helping me get my head back in the game. It truly was just my addiction. I never sold. I never wrote my own scripts. I didn't know how to stop using. I tried so many times. I kept telling myself that when I ran out, I'd stop, but I started to panic the day before I ran out and went to get more. I couldn't stop. Even now, without counseling, I still don't think I could have stopped no matter what my legal issues are. Without my psychiatrist, I would still be using, but I probably would have just bought them from someone. But I did stop. That deserves some credit. Maybe not. IDK

[Merri123]

I'm so sorry this was so rough. But Weaver is right.

Your attorney will do what he can. He prayed with you. Thst is huge. Thst means he cares. You are not just money to him.

This DA sees this all the time. Unfortunately I can imagine they get hardened by it. But it is your first offense. There is no proof of anything else here. She says this is more than addiction. Well what more can it be?  You weren't selling them. And they can't prove you were.  Her job is to go full on hard core prosecution. Make her record look good. Your attorney will handle her. And the judge will hopefully see it was exactly what it was.

You have come so far. Let that do the talking. Is there anyway you can see your counselor today? Call her office and see if she can get you in?  I think it would be  very helpful today.

Chin up. This is only the beginning. It will work out ok. Do you know when your next court date is?

[loveandlight05]

Unfortunately, I can't see my counselor until after the holidays. I'm staying home for the rest of the day and not going to work. Honestly, I feel like I will be the worst case of doctor shopping ever. I've been addicted to hydrocodone since I was about 24. I bought them from a lady for maybe 4 years. Then I quit and cut her off. After that, I stayed sober for a year. When I started again, I doctor shopped. They'll probably get me on a million counts, and I will be ******. I stopped several times, and at one point, I got another dealer. The whole thing is awful. Maybe I do deserve to go to prison. IDK anymore. Why my attorney thinks I have even a tiny chance at walking away without a felony is beyond me. Everything I did was driven 100% by my addiction. I feel like dying.

[weaver71]

I don't know if I told you this already, but my multi felonies were diverted. I started going to AA, as soon as court started. Every time I saw the judge, I submitted my signed list of meetings and got letters of character reference too. Just the effort you show that you are fighting this addiction really shows you are taking this serious and that you realize it was the addiction, even if the DA doesn't. If there is anything about recovery you can prove you are involved in, I would be doing that, it may help you personally too, not just the court situation. Just a tip from a barely non-felon.

[Ndetox]

Hang in there girl! I know it is stressful but look how far you have come! I know many friends of mine that have been busted with a lot of pills(down here each pill counts as a felony) and none of them did any time. Fines and probation was all that came of it. I don't say that lightly, fines and probation are not fun. I really think your going to be ok. --Jess

[loveandlight05]

Weaver, I've been very diligent with documenting all of my efforts regarding recovery. I'm starting more counseling beginning January 7th. My addiction psychiatrist has told me he will be a character witness. I am taking this all very seriously, but hearing the DA say that about me, you would have thought I murdered someone. Is she trying to say I sold them? If so, she is dead wrong. I would never have given up my drugs. Never.

[loveandlight05]

Every pill is a felony? That's nuts! You made me feel a little better, though. That seems really harsh. I thought it would matter that the schedule of the substances I had was very low compared to say cocaine or heroin. Maybe that doesn't matter though. But I have to say, hearing stories where people were spared jail time helps the most.

[loveandlight05]

LuLu, are you there? I hope to hear from you.

[weaver71]

Think logically. If every pill was charged as a felony in this country, with it costing over $100,000 a year to house an inmate and illicit pills are a major drug problem, they'd have to cut the defense budget to build more prisons. Seriously, the math doesn't line up. She is just doing her job, representing the extreme, unrealistic as it may be. Focus on you and your faith in your new life, all the other stuff seems to work it self out if you do that.

[Ndetox]

Yes it is crazy. My (then) best friend got pulled over a couple of months ago. She had a pipe and a couple of Roxies on her. She had to pay fines and has probation. They do not play here. I live in one of those counties that are very hard on anything to do with pills. That is a lot of the reason I think your going to be ok! --Jess

[loveandlight05]

I live in Texas, and they loooove to kill people (death penalty). I went to high school with this guy who raped a 4 year old boy when he was a minor. He couldn't go to school with us for a while, but no juvie time. Then at 18, he was convicted of statutory rape and still offered probation. So maybe I have a shot. I just don't see how being addicted to drugs should ever mean jail time if you agree to rehab. Most of the time, pill addicts aren't committing violent acts of crime. We just hurt ourselves and those who love us emotionally.

[loveandlight05]

I want to think logically Weaver, but I feel like this woman is going to say I was selling Ambien or something when that couldn't be further from the truth. I was taking roughly ten at a time each night. I was out of an entire script in 3 days. Hydro I went a tiny bit slower on.

[Chels44]

Oh those lovely DA's...and they go on about how lawyers are bad...I have never met a DA I liked. You have to remember in an essence their job is to be a d!ck. And not do they usually fit the bill. Some of the cruelest people I've ever come across. I own a business regarding comsumer explosives and Like clock work every year or two, that jerk comes at us. Lucky for me my lawyer is about 10 times smarter and loves to mess with him.
He's tried to shut down a temporary location of ours the town board approved, tried to take our permit and give it to another company...the list goes on and on. Half of the crap he tries to pull isn't even legal.
Worst part? He sounds like Fazzy Bear from the Muppets. Try taking that seriously in a court room - you cant.
Bc of theses people I have to keep my lawyer on a monthly retainer. I am so sorry this is happening to you but don't be surprised that she said something sh!tty. That's what they do. They really aren't nice or even civil people.

[loveandlight05]

I don't understand why, on my last thread, everyone thought this was going to be over after my first court appearance and that there would be no more surprises. Being indicted means jack down here. I have months to go and no idea about what my charges will be. I know everyone thinks I should stop worrying, but unless you've been in my shoes with twin one year olds, you can't say you wouldn't be eaten up inside about this, too. It really is almost impossible for me not to worry no matter how logical it may seem to not.

[Chels44]

I think you have every right to be worried. And I don't mean that rudely at all. I just waned you to know (and i believe others to) you're not alone. Our situations may not be the same but the stress and heartache are.
Sending the best of wishes and prayers,
Chels

[weaver71]

I am 7 generations from Texas, I never said it would be over in a day, I said you won't go to prison and I highly doubt jail. The war on drugs is not about using evidence base therapy and actually helping people, it's a business. I am imagining this will cost you lots of money in fines and fees, they lose money, if you go to jail. Your kids are an advantage, they gonna feed and house them too? They don't want you to end up on welfare and kids being shipped about. You have a job and are in recovery, you don't have to relax, but I would put more energy into thinking about how to cope, not what might happen.

[Chels44]

Oh and as a reference: he once threatened to sue my lawyer. For what, Im still not sure. My lawyer thought this was hysterical.

[loveandlight05]

Weaver, I know that you know how all of this works. I do know that worrying is useless, but the second I have down time, I go into stress mode. But I'll take weaver's suggestion and grade some essays today. I've got nothing else to do but worry. I know they'd make more money off me on probation, but I wonder if a win for this DA means conviction or conviction and jail time. Are they even worried about keeping people out of jail, or are they worried about meeting a quota with how many people they put in? My fiance would take care of our kids, but he'd be on heavy government assistance, and he'd lose our home.

[VICourageous]

I feel for you. I just wanted to chime in and tell you that I know a few people who did sell meds and or also got caught high one them more then one time. All they got was put on supervised probation and they also where ordered to do the meetings plus some counseling.
I just went to the DR (new one) yesterday for other reasons and I was shocked by his bed side manner about Addiction. FDA came down again at this clinic and they are taking lots of people off the Meds. I have been studying this Addiction in a more Scientific way for over a couple of years now. It will not save you but the more you can learn what goes on in the Brain then maybe they will listen too. Addiction is NOT our FAULT..It is progressive disease..This DR made me so so mad by telling me that since my Mom & Dad drank on the weekends for fun that I have the D2-(Dopamine) addiction cell. I have TONS of paper work regarding this and he was a bit off base here. I was so pisssed that he had no clue what he was saying and I could tell that they are now starting to do there homework. He would have to test ALL of us to know..I know I am a Addict, but do not tell me why or what reason I used when I was young!!...SO people just take this Addiction word and make it out to be such a Monster. Well it is but they need to be more educated about Addiction. I also was told by a few cops I was talking with that told me they put Addicts in a Rehab not Jail..Ya, Right!!
I do wish you the best, but I too do not think you will go to jail. You might be put on probation but that is it. The jails are way to over crowded and they know that the world has lots of Addicts that need help and not be punished.
Hold on Tight to your Faith.
Sending some Prayers your way!!!

[Merri123]

I still have to say -  honestly it was AMBIEN.  Now the only thing I can think of is someone that is clueless would say No way someone can take 10 Ambien a night. I think of it and wonder how you didn't OD. My gosh that is alot.

But.... I have no idea either. I could tske ones and be out and wake up totally groggy either at 3 am or when the alarm went off.

So DA probably thinks no way did she take all that herself if you got them from 2-3 different Drs.  

But stil. ambien only. You didn't do that with the hydros that I remember.

Yes I would be a basket case too. But one thing I have found out is that Weaver is VERY knowledgable and generally explains if he knows or has been there. So I say he is most likely correct.

Stop doubting yourself. There have been many who have been there and done worse. You ARE NOT a bad person. You DO NOT deserve to sit in jail.