242 Days Clean...

[ginsa]

....and I still feel very depressed and  have physical symptoms of anxiety. I feel tightness in my chest, difficulty swallowing, and like my stomach is a rock. My mind isn't racing and I'm not tortured by invasive thoughts, just the physical sensations of anxiety. I wonder if this will ever end. I have tried almost every type of antidepressant and had problems with every one of them. If I had ever felt the euphoria I read about when I was taking opiates, I might be inclined to relapse. But the only sensation I got from opiates was a harsh feeling. I'm so at a loss. I see a pdoc and therapist regularly, and this may be helping ( I suppose things can always be worse ), but I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck like this for the rest of my natural life. The only time I've felt worse was when I was tapering off Norco and the first few weeks after I quit using. I was able to endure that bc I knew that there would be improvement. But now I feel like I'm in a holding pattern and I'm almost paralized by how bad I feel. I don't expect anyone to have the answer, I just need to vent. But if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon I hope you share how you coped with it and possibly overcame it!

[ginsa]

I've heard that Dr. Bach's Sleep Rescue Remedy is good for quieting intrusive thoughts and promoting sleep. I havn't tried that one, but I have used the regular Rescue Remedy for both myself and my horses and it really helps calm. It's not like taking a xanax or Valium, but it is a gently soothing calm.

I've been through every type of antidepressant available in the US and am going to try something I have to order from another country. I think that the source of the majority of my anxiety and depression is trauma, and I learned of a SSRE that is reported to work very well in such people. It is said to repair damage within the HPA axis caused by chronic stress. I'm desperate and willing to give it a try.

[narla]

I;ve been dealing with anxiety for 15 yrs as well as depression and panic attacks,They always want to try new medications I've been on 200mg zoloft for at least 10 yrs,before that prothiaden,also on valium,on Wednesday they wanted to put me on zyprexa as well I took only half of a 5mg tablet and it was horrible,I felt like a zombie and like I had no control,I haven't taken it since,I see my Dr again Wednesday I'm going to tell her I'll just learn to live with the anxiety,I'm sick of all the medications.My problem is my brain never shuts down I'm always having invasive thoughts and I get paranoid,If something bad happens I always think It's my fault.

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

I'm only at 147 days.. but to be honest with you I STILL have that anxiety feeling.. sometimes... I hate it.. but I just try to work thru it by either.. going for a walk.. or going over and seeing/riding Mister Ed... and/ or talking to my husband or Mom about it.. They both know that I am trying to recover from my addiction... I really don't know what to tell you except that I wish it would go away too...FOREVER... I too have had feelings of WANTING to relapse in order for this "feeling' to go away... I think a big part of my anxiety is the situation with my Mom.. but with that said.. that is one of the MAIN reasons I HAVE to stay CLEAN!  

PM me back... I'm here for you!

YOu know that I love you!

NorcoQueen and Mister Ed

[blue1969]

I think the problem with many anti-depressents is they have side effects of anxiety - from what i have read (particularly SSRI's).  I suppose it must be difficult finding something to alleviate all your symptoms but I'm sure if you persevere It will come.

Have you tried deep breathing, hot relaxing baths, essential oils and such like?  Be strong there is help there for you sometimes it just takes a little time.