Step Seven

[Punkinhead75]

Step Seven
by Punkinhead75 , Oct 31, 2010 07:28AM
Now that we are entirely ready,  we move on to step seven.

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
    Taken from The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions   pg.70


One of the sayings I often hear is "We are responsible for the effort and God responsible for the results."  I like this saying because it helps me with being humble.  When I put in the effort and things work out well I want all the credit.  That is my self centeredness taking over.  The same self centeredness that is at the root of my disease.  By doing the work in the prior steps I have made the effort.  Now I ask God to remove my shortcomings. There have been times where specific shortcomings have been removed rather quickly, such as the obsession to drink and drug.  Others have taken a little longer.  Perhaps because I wasn't entirely ready to have them removed or perhaps God still wanted me to have them.  I have found that my shortcomings don't always stay removed and can creep up at any given time.  By practicing the steps the process has gotten easier and I find that I can adapt and grow more readily than I could in the past.  Depending upon the situation and how strongly I feel or how deep rooted my feeling are can make all the difference in the world.  For me trying to remain open minded is the key. Remember back in step three when we decided to turn our will over to a Power greater than ourselves.  This step for me actually tests how well I turn my will over.  The main thing that I need to understand is that I get well in God's time not mine.  

[Htownnofrown]

Thanks Punkin, keep up the good work. Reading the above posts make me so grateful that I have accepted this program and have benefited from it so tremendously because I can see what my attitude towards others, and just my negative disposition towards life might be had I not.

[Punkinhead75]

Please let's not head down an unfriendly road.  We were able to discuss our differences and understand each other pretty well in earlier posts.  Can we try to continue that here?

Just because I was unable to see your point of view doesn't mean that I am not willing to try.  Will you please try to explain it further?  What is easy for you to understand may be a little more difficult for others so I am asking you to have some patience with me.

What I was heading towards in the previous post is a question as to weather or not your comments were based on experience or analysis of the step.  I found for myself that what I thought I would get from doing a step was far different than what actually happened.

As far as the 11th tradition you bring up a valid point.  I will talk to some other people in regards to this.  For what it is worth these step posts were a request.

I hope your tooth feels better soon.  I certainly understand how discomfort can have a negative impact on us and the folks around us.  Take care and thanks for your comments.

[Punkinhead75]

I don't know of  an atheist 12 step program specifically.  I do know folks that use the 12  steps that believe in a Higher Power that they don't consider to be God.  How it works for them I can't say.  When I follow the steps and do what has been suggested I stay sober.  It wasn't about aligning the steps to suit me, it was about aligning myself to fit he steps.  The problem has always been me.  That is what needs to change.  Thanks for the question.  I hope this helps.  Feel better my friend.

[trdofbeingtrd]

So, with these steps, one is able to stay clean, but they do it through this method?

So, if it is working for people, then I can see how it's a great thing.

One question though, what about people that don't believe?

I am actually NOT beating a dead horse here. People come on this site all the time, and because they are all different, what about those who see the 12 steps as nothing but silliness because they do not believe in a higher power of any type? Is there an atheist 12 step program?

I don't personally need one, I would prefer more of a half and half kind. One that let's me acknowledge my own strength and willpower but that also acknowledges a higher power and can thank that higher power for giving them strength spiritually?

I am reading your 12 steps, and so far, I have very little to dislike, other than I want to be proud of my own accomplishments and take credit if it's due.

[hellc@mst]

Huh? I guess since you have so much invested in the alleged efficacy of the steps, there is no way i could ever convince you of the entitlement and lack of humility when someone makes demands of God. Its like trying to describe the colour blue to a blind man. Futile!

Regardless of where the BB quotes came from and your interpretation of their meaning, there is no denying or reframing them in a way which is more 'humble"and/or spiritual. He( Bill W) says...

'We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given to us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it'

There is no ambiguity there. It is fairly straight forward and self explainatory. I also dont think my experiences, or lack thereof, preclude me from making pertinent comments about the program. In many ways, my indifference and impartiallity allow me to recognise faults that blind adherents to 12 step dogma are reluctant to identify and acknowledge( sexual predation, 13 th stepping, manipulation, self denying religiosity,refer to midtown group for recent examples)

I would also like to know how your step work posts sit with the 11th tradition?

Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films)

What constitutes promotion may be a relative matter but i see unsolicited sermons as blatant promotion of the 12 step program and contrary to its own precious tenets.

Please forgive me if i come acrross as pithy and terse but i have an incredible toothache and it has affected my ability to remain calm and tolerant of puposefully asinine posts.

[Punkinhead75]

Have you completed the step work?  This is just a question and not an attack.  I was just wondering what your experience has been with this step as well as others.  I'm a little tired and coping with some pain so please forgive me if this comes across a little rough.  It is not meant to be.

I'm having a tough time understanding your point of view on this.  I'm just not seeing it.
In regards to the quotes from the Big Book he is just stating their experience after having completed steps 1-9 and proceeded with Step 10.  Their attitude towards alcohol is also highly dependant upon their spiritual fitness.  I don't see the lack of humilty or the entitlement.  It is just what happened to them.

I was fortunate that the compulsion and obsession to drink and drug were removed rather quickly.  As a far as other shortcomings were concerned I had to wait for them to be removed.  It was a lesson in patience, tolerance and it also let me know that I wasn't in control.  The whole key for me with this step is the humilty.  If I go into this step with the mindset of a child using emotional blackmail then there is no humility in that.  It also shows me that I am not ready to perform this step.

Thanks for responding.  Have a Good night.

[hellc@mst]

Hi there. I see the potential rewards but i fail to see the 'effort' or the required 'humility' when making requests of God. To be honest, it appears to be more of a demand for a miracle than a humbe request.

I only say this because~ what is the consequence should God decide not to grant our humble request?  Are we left to relapse or continue our sobriety as miserable dry drunks/addicts? This is more like the petulant demand of a child who uses emotional blackmail to get their own way. Remove my compulsions or else i will relapse.

Also,Bill W does not see the granting of our humble requests as reward for our "efforts". Again, there is a serious lack of humility and a strong sense of entitlement in the following...

"We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given to us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
...
We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us."
The Big Book, William G. Wilson, pages 84-85.

Even if there were an imaginary "effort" threshhold whereby we become worthy once we meet the minimum requirement~an heretical, quid pro quo relationship with god is far from humble.

Regards Jeremy