Support for a non-user with a user soulmate

[RaeScott]

My boyfriend and (I believe) soulmate has been smoking pot regularly for 11 years.  We've been together for 3 and in those 3 years I have gradually become more and more frustrated with his habit.  I'm convinced he has reached addiction status and is in heavy denial about it.  He flip flops regularly between telling me he's ready to quit (or "at least cut back") and insisting there is no reason for him to quit.  I love him too much to give him an ultimatum of me or the pot, especially since it would be a hollow threat - I'm not at the point where I could walk away if he didn't pick me.

I've read all the literature I can get my hands on, and I know that I can't help him if he isn't willing to help himself, so I guess what I'm really looking for right now is encouragement and support from anyone who's been on either side of this relationship before.  With the exception of the pot, we have an extremely solid relationship, and even considering the pot, we have an entirely open and honest relationship.  I truly believe we can make this relationship work and that we will get married someday, but I'm so afraid that this will eventually drive us apart if I don't find a way of coping with it until he can make the decision to quit.

Any encouragement or advise is more than appreciated.

[RaeScott]

oh absolutely it's mental, I know that...which makes it that much more difficult to make a case he'll buy in to...!

appreciate the support, I try to keep the communication lines open as much as possible without being a total nag about it, but he isn't at the point where he can even formulate a "real" answer to that question... it's always "I like it" and he won't dig deeper than that... at least not out loud.

Anyway, thanks.

[flmagi]

Pot is not physically addictive but mentally, perhaps. My question for him would be "Why do you find the need to be high so much?".    Someone who is not happy unless they're high, has some issues to deal with.  Good luck.