I understand about the money thing. It got to a point where I could not buy anything unless it was pills. When I look back I feel like such an idiot!!! When I get cravings I'm also goin to start thinking bout all the bad stuff.. Ty everyone for ur post. We all understand each other or have been thru similar experiences.
A huge regret I have is not controlling myself, or just not buying them because at first I didn't need them. My life was great when I first started taking them - I was 4 years clean. I knew what would happen but for some reason I just didn't stop, I was just enjoying that high. I also regret spending so much money one them and putting my family and friends on hold when I didn't have them.
Wow I'm so sorry to hear about ur husband. Ur story brought atear to my eye. R u doing better now ? U have been thru alot!
I have 3 things I regret.
1. The time my late husband and I were told we could buy 3000 80mg oxy contins for $1 each. I knew it sounded like bullcrap but, being that we were so addicted we thought it was a good investment. My husband borrowed the money from a person who gives out loans on the street. He went to get the pills and was held at gunpoint and robbed of the money. We were set up.
2. I went to pick up my pills. I had absolutely no one to watch my daughter. I had tried very hard to never take her with me but had to this time and when I hopped out of my car to go grab them, he said I had to jump in because there were too many cars behind him and when I did he drove around the block and my daughter, who was in the car, saw me leave and started to cry. He pulled right back around and I got out and she was hysterical in the car thinking that I left her. I knew I had to get help at that point.
3. I regret not getting the help I needed before my husband had to die from it.
I also regret taking pills from friends. When I look at those people now, I feel so ashamed. Some know what I did and some never knew (although I am sure deep down) they knew but didn't say anything, It is hard for me to face people now and I am not as nearly outgoing as I used to be because of it.
I know whatbu mean about everything bn a haze...I can't remember important things that happened while I was on pills...everytg flew by...
Nicklyn... They say part of recoverybis relapse
I regret how much i missed of my oldest daughters life, i was with her all the time but it seems like everything is in a haze. Theres so many things i just cant remember and it breaks my heart. I got clean and things were great, but now i am back in the same boat just not as bad and i feel that time slipping away again. Its almost like im in robot mode. I work, take care of the kids and sleep. Its hurting me very deeply because i feel like im missing out on so much again and i know these are moments that i will never get back. Im a good mom and give them everything they need but unfortunatly i am emotionally blocked off right now. I have so much pain that if i dont take something im afraid that i just wont make it. I feel like a horrible selfish person because i know they deserve way more than i am giving them...
That's a good idea on how to stay clean.. I think when I get cravings I'll just remember all the bad things the pills made u do an how they covered up the real me... So thanks u so much for ur post..
Hello This is a great topic I don't know if they are to say regrets I just know, I know what I don't ever want to experience again and those things keep me from entertaining the idea that I could use responsibly I am an addict period I know that now BIG time! Thank you for the reminder.
Peace/Love
my drug of choice, a barbiturate, creates an intoxication similar to alcohol and a very nearly total loss of inhibition. in high doses, this loss of inhibition causes a person to do or say things they ordinarily wouldn't do or say...there's a few things i did and said that i really truly regret. even more than that, during my withdrawal, i did some very horrible things to my family in an effort to get pills. very horrible. it's the things i did during withdrawal that i truly regret the most.
I think we all have similar experiences... Mine was hurtin my fiancé , which I mentioned earlier...all the money o ever made went to buying pills, never paid bills, got my car repossed, (1st time I ever told ne1 that) hurting my freinds by hanging around the wrong people and not spending time with my real freinds...this disease *****!!!!!
with all the money I spent on oxy during run out time I could have had my mom come and have a wonderful time creating memories with her and my son. I could have paid for college for my older son. I wouldnt have had to refinance my home.
Maybe I would have more braincells ??
watching my children pull away from me as they had to protect themselves.. Thank goodness they have forgiven me and have seen the work I have put into getting clean.. lesa
stealing from by best friend of 25 years mothers pills, biggest regret!!! but cant change it so have to deal DAMN IT lol!!
U r so right... That's how I felt when I was out of pills... This panic takes over ur body and u can't control it.... Almost like devil has takin over ur body...
I looked in peoples medicine cabinets. This is very hard for me to admit but the truth is I would of done anything when I was out. Those days are over...thank God
more than I care to recall...I hurt people (for which I deeply apologize)...to me that's the main thing and will always be my biggest regret. Made some stupid decisions.
Jim
Mine is hurting my fiancé. It was killing him knowing i was killing myself. I can't beleive he's still here with me. I put him thru so much. I can't believe it. I love him so much for bn here fir me he's so supportive of me now. Thanks fir sharing ur stories with me. It's awesome how we all understand each other here andcan relate to each other. It's been so helpful to me.
I have so many regrets....but mostly I regret hurting my family, especially my mom and younger brother. I think that hurts the most.
My daughter moving in with her dad when she was 14......She couldnt take all the insanity created by my addiction.
Using all thru my dad's cancer and death......