Why can't I own a Canadian?

[Mangee]

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Date: Wed, 7 Apr 2010 22:48:26 -0500
From: ***@****
To:
Subject: Why can't I own a Canadian?



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Why Can't I Own a Canadian?                          October 2002
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.
Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by
a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show,
and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.
End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.
The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness -
Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser
abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that
I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is
expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if
I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife
by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and
blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding
us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim



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[beatingthis]

No offence taken! I tease the heck out of my husband STILL. LMAO

Shall we talk about how Australia was founded? LOL!!

Love ya Narla!

[narla]

Maybe it's the Americans that decided change the way things were spelt to make it easier for them to learn,I'm bad  LOL

[beatingthis]

darn Brits can't even speak or spell proper English lol

(Yes I am married to one) lol!

[el_em_en_oh]

I was just at Houston Intercontinental Airport going through security, and this Sikh was standing in front of me (Indian looking guy with a turban). He was "randomly" chosen and pulled out of the line so they could do a more thorough search.

I was standing adjacent to where the pat-search & bag-search was about to take place, and the TSA agent asked him if he minded being searched by a male.

His words, and I quote: "I'm not gay or a terrorist... I'm Canadian".

True story.

[narla]

I'm actually Australian,but we were taught the British way of spelling.

[Mangee]

Everyone has a sense of humour. If you can find the humour in anything that is actually funny then there is no doubt you have a sense of humor. You must be a Canadiannarla. I get this from the way you spelled humour. The Americans leave out the," u."