A pirate at a local bar.

[Mangee]

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch;

The seaman asks,"So how did end up with the peg-leg?"  The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook?" "Well," replied tthe pirate, "We wre boarding an enemy ship and were battling with other sailors with swords and one of them cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the rye patch?"  A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied yhe pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate,"It was my first day with my hook."

[Bubulous]

Rush, Newbie, and kmo are trapped on a deserted island.  They have been there for several years and barely could scrape enough to live.  One day while walking along the shore, kmo tripped over a bottle.  She picked it up to wipe the sand off of it and a genie popped out.  The genie said “I will grant you three wishes or all three of you one wish.”  After discussing it, kmo decided to split her wishes three ways, the genie told her after the three wishes he would disappear and never come back.  She let Newbie go first…..
“What would you like”, said the genie.
Newbie replies “I have been poor for so long I want to be in New York with a billion dollars.”  The genie grants his wish.  Next was Rush…
“What would you like”, said the genie.
Rush said “I have been lonely so long I want to be in California surrounded by beautiful women.”  The genie grants his wish.
The genie then looked at kmo and asked what she would choose to wish for.
She said “Well I don’t know right now, give me a minute.”
After about an hour she looked up at the sky and said “I wish my friends Rush and Newbie were here, they could help me decide…..


All I can think of that isn't dirty.

[dominosarah]

Good One!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Too funny!

[Happie1]

LMAO!!

[tryingtocope39]

LOL! I hate it when I get bird poop in my eye!