Family.... Can they survive too?

[trying23]

I have to come to my moms house to get on the internet.  I love the support I get from our community, and I need to talk.  My honey and parents have been amazing support but as I get farther along with my battle I feel like maybe they think I don't need them as much.  I want to talk about everything, from what happened today yesterday six months ago.  I need to talk talk talk, but I can feel em drifting away.  I understand that its not all about me, and even while Im recovering, their lives are still going on too.  So when I go on to moms, my honey makes comments like "who are you talking to some guy?"  I laughed cause well yeah I am talking to some guy, and some girl and reading about this and that.  This guys triumph, and this persons set back.  He doesnt understand what I do when I log on.  He has no clue how much better I feel after Im on the net.  I asked him to come with me and read some.  Thinking hed read my journels and see what a difference hes made with my sober time. Instead he said no and wouldnt come.  I need his support with everything, even if its just letting me go without the guilt trip.  Its not time away from him Im trying to get, its time with others who understand that I HAVE TO HAVE.  It really *****.  I have so much guilt already.

[LateAugust]

I understand what you are saying....    my daughter is an oxy addict and I joined this forum almost 2 yrs ago to help me understand all aspects of addiction...in addition to reading everything I could find, talking with counselors and being very involved (supportive) of her recovery..   as her family we love her unconditionally and want to encourage her in every way we can..  but there is always that fine line of being harmful by  being too enabling  vs. supporting unconditionally with love in a productive manner.

Your family does love you so very much, never forget that.....however there are times where just a brief escape from addiction is needed due to all the drama and pain that addiction creates in not only the addicts life, but  also those that love them as well.

On this site there are people hell bent on pointing out what an enabler I am, as tho a mother does not feel an incredible guilt when your child becomes an addict, because they think I am wrong in treatments I discuss or just philosophical differences.  Equally I have met some tremendous people whose support  and guidance has been invaluable to me and I will always be indebted for their kindness.  I guess what I am trying to say is   just as it is hard for you to always know the right thing to do, it is also very hard as a loved one of an addict to know what or how to say to someone we love the most and know they are hurting what is the best for them.


Please know as you,  they are trying to do their best, in a situation we are all ill prepared for and sometimes our actions are not indicative of our intent.

Honest open dialog, for us is a great foundation, to help eliminate misconceptions.  I wish you and your family well in your journey to sobriety.  Take good care!

[Weney3777]

No way you can feel guilty about needing to get support from others who have the same issues as yourself. Even if he doesn't understand, at least he's supporting your recovery. My husband gives me "kudos", yet he still is on them himself. Family that cares is a big part of getting and staying clean. I'm the same way with being here on this site. I try to tell him what everone is saying and the comforting feelings I get from you guys, but in his state, he just doesn't get it. I've been really pushing for him to listen to some of the posts. Sometimes he hears, sometimes he doesn't. All I know is that coming here really helps me, and that's what is important right now. Best wishes!