vicodin addict....my husband now knows

[joyagain]

I leveled with my husband last night about my the extent of my vicodin addiction.  It seems as though my body/mind knows that my time is limited with the vicodin (my prescription is almost up) so it wants more now.  My intake it has gone from 6-8 per day to 8 per day if not 9.  I figure I will run out about wednesday next week.  My kids, unfortunately, will be on spring break.  My husband has so thankfully offered to take thursday and friday off of work.  I want to go camping with the family this summer and feel everything.  Last summer I did now go without vicodin, just to deal with the heat when packing, the arguing kids,  the messy travel trailer.  I want to feel the cool morning walk I take with the dogs, the hikes we take with the kids that end up at a lake.  Vicodin has now taken that away from me.  It used to help me keep going, now I just want to get it overwith.  Instead of being so concerned that there is another prescription out there for me, I will be calling my docotor and telling her to cancel that next one, I would have to go through w/d anyway before I could pick it up.  Thank You all for the encouragement and the very thourough amont of information available.  I am so much more prepared for what is ahead.  Aftercare is tricky.  I cannot go to the na meetings.  The town is too small, my name is too well known, I work at a place that would probably not tolerate my problems.  I don't even think I can trust a local counselor.  Also my mother gives me vicodin, although I think she is clued in as much as she wants to be that it is a problem.  I don't think she will be offering them to me anymore.  I would have to ask.

[joyagain]

yes, my plan is c/t because I can tell that to taper would not work for me.  I will run out of pills probably by Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.  It is not a good time for me to just stop right now because I have my sons birthday on saturday, the party is at my house.  I have 3 baseball games that day for my boys,  I work Monday night.  All kinds of excuses, but it also comes down to the fact that I have these pills left, and honestly it has given me time to talk with my husband to get his support, and to get and try out the supplements.  I'm also going to make sure I have some good food in the house that MIGHT sound good to me during w/d and some epsom salt for the bath.  

[taperme]

So, what is your plan? Cold turkey?

[joyagain]

yes, I too was starting to take ambien to counteract my vicodin so I could sleep.  At the same time, I found this forum.  I became more aware of the ambien problem as well, so when I saw the valerian root I tried it.  It really does work although if you just took vicodin, and drank coffee, I don't think it would work like ambien.  I will be taking valerian root, walking, baths, bananas, getting up early, trying to go to bed early all of this before I take an ambien when I start my ct w/d.  Right now I do not take ambien on a regular basis, more like every third night lately.  Which is a lot for me.   I can't take benadryl because that gives me rls believe it or not.  Good luck with ambien taper, get some exercise and try the valerian root.

[Addict63]

I know exactly what you mean. I felt a relief when I shared about my addiction with someone. It was like the drug had a tight squeeze on me and then when I let the cat out of the bag it released it's grip on me. And just like you, I'm looking forward to the summer, free!

You also mentioned using natural sleep aids. That's a good thing!! Right now I'm tapering off of Ambien. It's a horrible insidious drug to withdraw from. My taper plan is a lengthy one. If I go too fast it will quickly catch up with me and the WDs will take over big-time. I had no idea it was like this when I started up on it. After all, the fuzzy TV commercials made it look so user friendly. I never gave it much thought, I concentrated on using my vicodin and took Ambien when it was time to go to sleep.  

[taperme]

That was the best thing you could do...talking to you your husband. I'm glad he is being supportive. Good luck!

[vicki595]

This is wonderful news!!   Keep posting for any help or support.

Start thinking about alternate aftercare...it's really important!

Vicki xo

[joyagain]

Thanks Mark good to know someone is reading.  Day four is good, you don't sound all that stressed out about it.  If you are, my thoughts and prayers are out to you.  I've experienced at least 1.2 to 2 days of w/d before and I would just ache all over and be sooo depressed and nauseous, rls, of course insomnia.  I do have a few ambien, for depsperate times, and I got some velarian root which I have already tried and it works well for calming down to sleep.  I hope it works for rls so I don't have to take the ambien every night.  I also bought and have tried the L-tyrosine, and B6 vit.  I am already on prozac and have been on ssri's for years but they do not seem to help the mild to moderate depression anymore.  I know I will get very depressed during w/d and am prepared to go for a walk no matter what.  Exercise has always been my upper in the past.  I just got so worn out and busy with the kids, and work, that it became way down the list of things to accomplish in a day.  Now my body does have some chronic pain issues but is should be manageable without narcatics.

[sportbikerguy]

I think that was one of the best things I could do, admit to someone I loved that I had an addiction.  The ironic thing about it though, is that they did have a clue.  You are at exactly the same quantities that I was at four days ago.  8-9 per day and it would have been more if I lied more.   Lying seems to be a common theme, and I'll fully admit that I was a full-faced liar at the doctor (not saying you were, just my situation).  Running out of meds would make me panic, I'd try to think of ways to get more, heck, I even visited a dentist with a fake toothache just so I could get a few more until my next script --- talk about desperate.   Amazing what these little pills can do to someone.

It really is not that bad, the first two days are pretty uncomfortable though, I will admit that.   The restless legs and lack of sleep was the worst.  I'm on day 4 and things are almost back to normal.

Sounds like you have a great husband, he really does care for you, and you're very lucky.   Do yourself a favor and call the doctor now to cancel the script, you don't need the temptation, it's too easy to give in.  Also, don't ask your mom about the meds, you can be strong with that.   Just change the subject if she mentions something, or say something casual like "Nah, I find I don't need them anymore, they cloud my judgement too much."

Remember to take lots of long hot baths (those worked wonders for me).   Also, pick up some OTC anti diarrhea medicine and some Ensure/Fruits, etc.  I will work wonders.  Also, they say to say away from dairy products, not sure why -- could be from the withdrawal meds I take.   Read the Thomas Recipe at the bottom right of this webpage, it has some info there too which helped me as well.

All the pleasantries in life will come back in a short time, you deserve the best, sounds like you want them too.

Mark