Am I addicted?

[LPB]

This is the first time I have admitted to anyone let alone myself I might have a problem.
I started having panic attacks over a year ago due to a divorce, job change, move etc.  My dr. prescribed Diazapham.  It worked.  But I also drink as well, probably 3-4 glasses of wine a night.  I am now seeing a social worker and have an appointment with a psychatrist this week for meds.  They currently put me on Prozac, which I can't take, makes me have terrible anxiety, tremors, sweats etc.  Stopped taking at at once.  I am also taking Zanax.  5mg once a day.  It makes the panic subside but not for as long of periods of time as it did before.  I am worried that the jitters I get are alcohol related as well.  Is combining the 2 at such a low dose truly dangerous and how do I just stop drinking?  I want to be able to have a glass of wine with friends but not every night.
Any suggestions?  I am in a very lonely place right now and would appreciate the help.

[kstuebin]

When I was child, I spake as a child.  I understood as child. I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face; now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope and charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. I Corithians, 11 - 13

[Frank Lee]

Hi LBP,

There is a lot of support out here for you and I am glad you found a place. You are playing with fire mixing benzos and ethanol and I am glad you realize it is a problem. Indeed, it's great that you found a therapist. I hope you are able to work out a plan. From personal experience and using many fundamental principles, ... I would offer the following. As noted above, please do not stop at once this could result in seizure. Additionally, stopping both ethanol and benzos is very difficult. Perhaps you and your therapist could work out a plan wherin you taper off one first and then the other. Finally, hope you know there are some people here who are very principled and caring. They will help.

Peace,

Frankie Lee

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

WW, my tinnitis is almost gone since I've been off of hydro and oxycodone for some time. Also, I've been very careful about my sugar and sodium intake as well during these last thirty days. Maybe it's something to consider? Sometimes it takes the "shotgun approach" to feel better, eh? Please excuse my Hoosier way of speaking! Anyway, take some time off and recuperate. We all need to do just that from time to time.

Butterbean, my friend, the very pills of which you speak have been both a boon and downfall in my life. How can something be so wonderful one moment turn into a nightmare the next? I suppose that is life for us. I just strive for some sort of equilibrium day to day. Barring withdrawals and normal misery, life is still a grand adventure. Believe it or not, we could be in much worse circumstances! Stick around long enough and you will see what I am talking about, Butterbean.

LPB, do what you will for now. The journey begins with the first step. You have taken that step and I can only hope that you will find what you are looking for. It is there, believe me, and you will find it someday. Just be patient and it will come. Without a doubt you will meet some people along the way....but remember, "princibles before personalities" is always the best guide in this life. I offer my best of wishes to you!

J.B.

[butterbean]

HI, I also am alone, divorced, and my children are grown, so I am totally alone.  I like it most of the time, and since I am not dating anyone right now, I am a little more lonely.  However, I think as I believe you said, these pills help to deal with the lonliness, depression, and emotions.  I know they worked wonders for me as I was always panickly, anxious and when I started taking Vicodin, I thought I could do anything.  I did too, I got a divorce after 21 years of marriage.  I am still not sure if it was partly the pills that helped to make me get out of the marriage.  Sometimes I regret it and want him back.  WE had our problems, but, he loved me and was good to me.  I do like living by myself though, and you can too.  For me, I have always felt like I have taken care of myself, since I had no parents who really cared for me much.  So as I took control and got divorced, I am going to take control and get clean of these pills, soon.  I  know I will, I just have to learn first whether I can get a small perscription just for the really severe pain and take something like Motrin for the everyday pain.  I am going to start there this month and see if I can do it.  If I can't, then I intend to stop taking vicodin completely and deal with the pain some other way.  After I came to this forum and met these wonderful people, Ihave felt I have so many friends helping me, keeping me strong, and being there for me when I really need a friend.  I am here for you too, so keep posting.  Yu will win this battle if you want to.  Let me know how you ar doing.
Love Butterbean

[kstuebin]

I said I wasn't going to post here but I can't overlook this.  LPB, do not stop taking benzos without consulting a doctor.  They are not like opiates and it is dangerous to go cold turkey.  You can suffer seizures and brain damage in a worse case scenario.  You have to wean yourself off of them and you need to talk to an addictions specialist to do that.  You can find one at any hospital or they can direct you.  I am a Xanax addict who detoxed by weaning and it was bad enough doing it that way. One pill a day is probably not enough to keep you out of severe withdrawl.  I can emphasize this enough.  If you want to email me, I'm ***@****.

[Witchywoman]

Hello everyone,
I just had a hearing test, after weeks of non stop ringing in my ears, and I do have hearing loss. It is not huge, but it is significant, and the Doc can't find any cause for it. I gave him the article about opiate induced hearing loss, he had never heard of it but was going to look into it.

I'm pretty upset. Well, to be honest, I'm extremely upset. I feel overwhelmed in general by my life right now, and finding out that my past opiate abuse probably has permanently damaged my hearing is devastating. The hard part is not knowing if it is going to stay at this level, or progress.  The research I've read said it can begin to happen and progress even after a person stops the drug (which is what has happened to me..I never noticed hearing problems while I was using heavily).

I may need to be a bit scarce for a few days while I try to get some clarity and find my emotional center again.  If I don't post it doesn't mean I'm not here for y'all or that I don't care..I just may need some time to reflect, though I know I also need support badly..my tendency is to withdraw when I feel scared. AAARRRRGGGGGH  I hate being codependant!

Just also ...if you have any hearing symptoms...take them seriously and use this research on hearing loss as another tool in your arsenal of reasons to fight the Dragon.  Warm fuzzy feelings and numbing of emotional pain are not worth giving up the ability to hear beautiful music, the cry of a child, the "I love you" from your loved ones.

love,
WW